2007-09-26 16:21:47 · 30 answers · asked by chill 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's the point when you need to step away and cool down. Both of you. After a few hours, talk about what happened. It's not alright for him (or you) to use abusive words. However, abusive is relative--being called a "poo-poo head" could be abusive to some people.
Talk to your husband after you both have cooled down. Listen to each other.
2007-09-26 16:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
No honey its EMOTIONAL ABUSE and any form of abuse is not to be tolerated. Now it depends on what he says. I been there I know.
If I was with a guy (and I was) who swore when he got angry if he called me a ***** I could handle it but if he EVER called me the C WORD no way would I stay to take it.
Now my Aunt used to torture my Uncle saying as she pointed to her face 'go ahead do it go ahead" well he was smart. He at worst would say 'your being a *****" and then leave until she calmed down.
Words do a lot of damage. Everyone gets explosive at times its how the person handles it.
I knew a happily married couple they would argue and he would yell but he would go outside and hit the brick wall of the house he never ever laid a hand on her.
But emotional abuse is hell I know all too well.
Bottom line is a REAL MAN does NOT abuse a LADY in ANY way shape or form.
My brother called his GF the C WORD and I said hes abusive he always was and if I were you I would move on.
She is obese so maybe shes insecure I dont know.
Next time he yells/swears at you go get a motel room for a few nights dont tell him where you are if you got kids take them Friday Saturday Sunday then keep them out of school for a few days.
By this time he will be pineing over you with regret.
Then phone him and tell him if there is a next time you will be gone for good because your a good woman and can and will find a MAN someone who does NOT abuse women.
IF your leaving makes him angry he dont love you. He then cares for himself only.
Good Luck to you
ps why why WHY ARE THE MAJoRITY HERE GIVING THUMBS DOWN WHEN WE ARE ALL TELLING THIS GIRL EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS WRONG? IS IT THAT YOU FEEL ONLY PHYSICAL ABUSE IS WRONG? OR ARE YOU AN ABUSER? WE ARE ALL GETTING THUMBS DOWN FOR SOUND ADVICE THAT IS TOTALLY WRONG WE ARE TRYING TO HELP HER SO YOU MUST BE AN ABUSER TOO YUP IM WAITING NOW FOR MY THUMBS DOWN FROM YOU just like all the others got. OH to the woman here that posted please take time to rate me.
2007-09-26 23:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by jackie blue 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't OK. Verbal abuse is very destructive. It effects a person's mood. Your mood goes down from verbal abuse. It also effects your emotions. Your emotions become painful emotions. It is not OK because of these things. Also, when you have these things, you can get physically sick because feeling the way you do (low mood, painful emotions) you don't have the energy to take good care of yourself. Verbal abuse effects a person's health. It is not just "words". When someone says "I love you" and they mean it, wow, that is great! Those are great words that do us well. The opposite is true when someone uses abusive words. It does not make us feel good. We get a reaction all right and a reaction that is not good for us. Verbal abuse is a form of anger. A person who has an anger problem needs to get help. Anger is OK but not when it hurts other people to the point where it causes damage. Any kind of damage. Damage to the person and damage to the relationship. You may need alot of the things your marriage has to offer, but even the US Constitution says you have the right to the pursuit of happiness. If someone is verbally abusing you, have someone convey to them that they need help with their anger because if is hurting you to the point where you may take your life or divorce them or even kill them!
2007-09-26 23:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
What he is doing is called emotion, and verbal abuse. Most people, married or, not do not know how to have a fight without doing and saying things that cross the line. There is no easy answer to this question. Our society as a whole has sunk to all new lows.....
2007-09-26 23:36:28 · answer #4 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would depend on the argument. It is very hard to answer this out of context. I have used very abusive language in the past. I used it to make my point. Could it be that hubby is getting the impression that you are not listening? On the other hand, it could be that he it using it to be demeaning, a method of controlling you, if you will. You have to realize that in the heat of battle he wants it to hurt. Hope this helps.
2007-09-26 23:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by MAD MEL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. No, it's not. It sounds as though you two need to get some marriage counseling; you need to learn how to communicate effectively, without going for the jugular. If he doesn't want to go, get counseling for yourself; it will help you sort out your feelings, as well as determining if the marriage is mentally healthy for you in the long run. We have the ability to love; noone should take that ability away from you by being hurtful. Good luck and God bless.
2007-09-26 23:30:08 · answer #6 · answered by Judy W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact your even asking shows that it isnt doesnt it.
but that aside he's male he knows it hurts you and if your arguing to the point of abusive language being used then you have some major issues that need dealing with , how long are you going to tolerate his childish behaviour is the question are you his wife or his mother?.
2007-09-26 23:31:53 · answer #7 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No that is not ok. That is called verbal abuse. I heard someone say once that if you have a friend (husband) who does something that hurts you and you ask them to stop and they don't, they keep doing that thing that hurts, than they don't really care about you and possibly don't love you.
2007-09-26 23:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by Dance Maniac 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's never alright for anyone to get abusive while arguing.
That just shows that they don't know how to argue fairly.
I'd say get out of this toxic relationship like NOW!
2007-09-26 23:24:55 · answer #9 · answered by NONAME 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Stop arguing with him and ignore him when he is abusive.
I mean act like he doesn't live. Walk away. Find something else to do. Don't give him any attention unless he is nice to you.
I learned this in a parenting class, it works on kids and it also works on adults.
2007-09-26 23:50:22 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋