what would the women in here do if your husband told you that you can not visit your?

Question

family like your parents and your sisters because he dose not get along with your family. and that he will divorce you if you do talk to them i don't know what to do please if someone can give some advice thanks.

Answer 1

wow, that's not cool my bf does not really like my family, but he would never make me choose between my family and him... that is not cool at all, to tell you he would divorce you if you did,,, he is playing you to see what you will do...

Marriage is not a prison, its bring 2 people together and family is in that, wow... i think you should tell him how you feel, that your not a prisoner in your own home and he can not tell you who you can or can not see,, that's wrong,, and it will start with that and then move to more things its family then you cant go out or you can wear this or you cant wear that, or you cant have that friend and you will never be free....

Take hold of your life and please don't be a prisoner in your home or your heart..... take care and i wish you the best :))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Answer 2

I would really start to question your marriage. If your husband truly loves you then he would never permit you from seeing your family or friends regardless of what kind of a relationship he has with them. And then to threaten you with divorce if you do. I use to be in a relationship where he tried to keep me from my family and would not allow me to have friends and in the end it was because he had so many hidden secrets and then the abuse and cheating started. He was just afraid that my family and friends would see all this and inform me or help me get out. I don't know how your husband is or if he is a control freak, but really consider your options, your future and the happiness you want your life to lead. I think that this is a major concern and if he can't let go of his selfishness because of the way others feel about him then maybe it is best to get out. If you truly love him and this is the only problem but is a big enough one to hurt many in the end then consider counseling, but don't let him push you around like this and don't let him stand between you and your family, specially your parents. I would look at the big picture, why doesn't he get along with any of them and if he isn't willing to change or set differences aside for your happiness then maybe he just isn't the one and you could do better. Think of you not him!! Good luck!

Answer 3

Your family will always be there for you. No matter what happens they will be there. I am sure they didn't tell you that if you didn't come to visit they were not going to be your family any more. Just because he doesn't get along with your family isn't a good enough reason to not visit your family. Are you sure that there isn't something more to him not wanting you to visit? Is he worried? How do they treat him? What do they think of him? Does he keep you from seeing friends too? If he does then maybe he is trying to isolate you from everyone. Don't let his threat keep you from your family. If he loves you he will understand and accept it. If he doesn't understand and won't accept it then let him do what he thinks he must. They are your family and will always be there. There shouldn't be conditions on the love you have with your spouse. Follow your heart.

Answer 4

It is never a good sign if your husband is trying to cut you off from your family. These are classic signs of much worse things to come. Get in touch with your family tell them what is going on and have them get you out of where you are living with this man right away. I have seen to many cases like this end in death and not divorce. Again I repeat run, run as fast as you can and get away from him. This is only the beginning.

Answer 5

No deal he knew you & your family bond before marriage. And knew what he was getting into as well as myself and my hubbby.

I don't like some of my in laws as I know my hubby sometimes thinks our family events are over kill. We compromise.

He can go to see his parents/stepp's anytime he wants-but I may not always go. When they come here, I can only handle a few days before they drive me insane. So visits/stay here must be 4 days max-otherwise I am outta here. He knows my tolerance is low and I plan my own thing to break up the heaviness if they wear out their welcome/annoy me.

As for my hubby & our family stuff.I let him bow out of some parties/events covering saying he is sick or tired from work travel. I also know he plans some overtime/weekend work on days he sees someone's party invitation on fridge. He says he didn't see it but I know the truth. LOL

Yours sounds more serious than the usual family annoyances. So if it is more than the usual annoyance and is a control thing I do not like it. I am concerned he will try to cut you off from them and lose your support/compass. Perhaps you need to visit family at a public place (tell him you are going to mall and have sis meet you there) then if busted say you ran into her.

Have you been married long?

Good luck

Answer 6

I would tell him to get the divorce papers because no one would ever control my visits to see my family. If he thought he would control her like that he may as well go for the divorce. Tell him you love him but you love your family too. You will never be put in a situation where you are forbidden to see your family. Do not let him control you like this it is the beginning of his control and if you don't stop him from controlling you it will grow into UN uncontrollable situation. Tell him he does not have to see your family but that you will go with out him and tell him you wouldn't ever tell him not to see his family.

Answer 7

well , give him the divorce. I wont have put up with that at all. I dont understand why you are still with him. I would understand that he dont get along with your family and that he wont go and visit them. But he hads no right to tell u that you cant visit or call them. Wish u the best

Answer 8

There could be a few things happening here. Either he's a super control freak. You'll know this if your family situation is a good one and you can't seem to figure out why he doesn't get along with them. Perhaps he thinks your family is a bad influence on you. Some families are pretty screwed up. We don't know the entire situation. I know people who don't associate with their spouses family. Just because they're family doesn't mean they are good people. Either way, it is your decision if you want to associate with your family or not, not his. He can opt out but your decisions are yours. Good luck :)

Answer 9

So you put a man you married before your own blood that's not right and you will pay the price down the road if and when one or both of your parents pass away. Get away from that man it's only going to get worse for you. You know he is only playing you against your parents and you are letting him win.It's a game to him you know and you need to step up and grow some balls and tell this man to stick this marriage where the sun don't shine.

Answer 10

I would start to sign divorce papers.

Hopefully this would have been something I factored into things before I chose to marry him (obviously you didn't)., so now you are left with this choice. It would be one thing if he said "I don't get a long with so and so (one person), so I will stay while you go"....but him not getting a long with everyone shows a flaw in his character. Him not letting you go is a HUGE sign of controlling behavior which often leads to abuse. I really think you should get out of this as soon as you can.