2007-09-26 15:46:24 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no. marriage is about committment. if someone told me they wanted to marry me, but wanted to "test the waters" by living with me first, I'd laugh in their face. living together lessens the committment of marriage, because people say it's the same as marriage, but it's not. when you just live together, either person can up and leave any time they want. marriage legally binds you together. it's the highest committment you can make.
2007-09-26 15:53:01 · answer #1 · answered by kwest 2 · 6⤊ 4⤋
In one word: YES!!! I am so happy I lived with my ex-boyfriend before we thought of getting married. This way, I found out if he was the one for me (I still say he is but he says I'm not the one for him and he kicked me out after living together for nearly 1 1/2 years). If we had been married and he had kicked me out, we would have had to go through the courts to get a divorce, etc. That would have been costly and a huge problem.
I only wish I had lived with my ex-husband before I married him. I tried for 17 years to make it work in the marriage, but it wouldn't. If I had known then what I know now, I never would have married him!
So, yes, I do believe that it is a good idea to live with someone before marrying them. That way, you know if the two of you 'fit' together as a couple living together and if you can stand each other 24/7. If not, then you will know and won't have to go through a nasty divorce, the courts, etc. But, I would suggest living together for at least two years before thinking about marriage. It takes at least that long for the 'newness' to wear off and for things to settle down. If, after that time, the two of you can handle living together/being around each other all the time/can handle each others little 'quirks', then talk about marriage.
2007-09-27 00:20:11 · answer #2 · answered by honey 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I've lived with two guys whom I had been dating. The first one I was with for 3 1/2 years and when we went our seperate ways, it was bad. The second one, I am engaged to be married to in April. Marriage is nothing like buying a car, you don't need to "test drive" it. If things don't work out between you two, living together just makes it harder and more hurtful to seperate. Also, it sucks just playing house. I think that I would wait until your at least engaged until you entertain the idea of moving in together. It will make the living together part of marriage alot more meaningful.
2007-09-26 23:57:49 · answer #3 · answered by Nicki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A year ago I would have told you yes. You really do get to know someone once you live with them everyday. It's also easier to part ways if you're not married. Alot of people will say you need to "test drive the car before you buy it." Well, you're not a car, and marriage is not a car purchase.
Today I say wait. Anymore, people don't take marriage as serious as it was intended to be. Living together before marriage makes it easier for a guy to make you wait longer, if ever, to get married. They have these lame excuses of "I only want to get married once" or "I don't need a piece of paper to prove my love for you." But see, if you don't live them and they REALLY want to be with you, they will do whatever it takes to be with you. You should feel entitled to knowing that he loves you so much that he will wait to until you get married. You will have the rest of your lives to live together, so why rush it? I know some will say "I can save money" but it really that much of a savings?
2007-09-26 23:04:37 · answer #4 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not, not to many men would marry someone they have seen at their worse. No surprises left to see because he has seen them all. Any woman who lives with a man is asking for a broken heart. What man wouldn't rather live with a woman,some of you women are to stupid to realize that so you get hurt and he gets to moves on to the next one. That little piece of paper makes everything more serious and special for the man and you women out there who move in with someone you just met a month or so ago will be lift alone wondering what happened.
2007-09-26 22:57:45 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Yes i think it is a good idea. Because people put on an act how they are outside the house. When you are actually living with that person, you can see their habits, and know how they live. Then after knowing their lazy, or weirds characterisitcs, then you can make a decision.
Moral issues? Thats another story. If your one of those religious people who arent going to "sleep" with one another before your married then i wouldn't recommend living together. Its to tempting. Its not imposible though.
I say give it a try, because u might be shocked after your married, and realize how miserable you are living with with someone who doesnt live up to your expectations.
2007-09-26 23:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by karen32487 1 · 5⤊ 3⤋
I lived with both my ex husbands before I married them , I was under the total misguidance that me living with them would show us exactly how we were without the falseness of just trying to impress each other to keep each other interested , what I failed to realise was the old saying coming into play "why buy the milk when you have the cow for free". Food for thought.
If I had my time over I wouldnt have moved in with either 1 of them.
2007-09-26 22:55:28 · answer #7 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
NO...marriage is NOT a car...and neither is a person...
I do not treat people like material issue and would NOT make that comparison or believe that it is a viable or reasonable excuse to allow someone to just trash you vy not paying their side of the bills...
look by living with someone..it is just like "people's court" just waiting to happen...no commitment all bs..and in the end...he got to have sex with you and has notched it on his bedpost if it doesn't go over...
my marriage of nine years has been great..and there are NO notches on my bedpost...because i do not count or consider women with such shallowness or superficiality...my wife and I love each other too much for that..
besides if there were.....we wouldn't have much of a bedpost left...;)
2007-09-26 22:58:44 · answer #8 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Before you're married, but after you get engaged. Mainly because there's a different level of commitment between an engaged couple than there is between "boyfriend/girlfriend".
Look at the number of people here who are living with their boyfriend and asking "When will he ask me to marry him??"
2007-09-26 23:01:36 · answer #9 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
No, then the time will pass and you won't get married. If you get married first, you're both committed to the marriage and really try to make it work. If you just live together, it's much easier to give up and end it.
2007-09-26 22:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by mamabear 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Definitely yes and it is really recommended.
the reason is merely to know the person better and you can have a lot of fun together, in addition both of you can have the time to adjust your lifestyles together before married!
spend at least 4-6 months and you will take the relationship to a higher level.
you will discover a lot of things than your usual one night date.
Take your partner to a grocery store and it will be fun because both of you will have a different opinions about which products to buy to store up your fridge. also do a laundry together, cooking, cleaning your house, shower, and many more.
Gud luck, and although that some of the discoveries might hurt you, love the person more.
2007-09-26 23:03:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 4⤋