I have a program on my computer for my kids to track what they go to well it tracks mine and my husbands too. I found out that he is emailing his ex and now he sometimes tries to meet with her when he dont have the kids and I have to work....should I quit my job? Question him? He talked to her before and a bunch of bad stuff happened how do I go about telling him that I found out? He doesnt know I have the program mainly of trust issues.
2007-09-26 15:10:15 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you may both have trust issues, you were in fact spying on him.(I am not judging you just being factual) I would sit down and be honest with him, ask him what is going on. It may be innocent, and he is hiding it from you (though that is never the way to handle any situation) because he fears you will assume the worst.
Bringing this up could cause turmoil, even if nothing is going on, because he may not trust you.
Secrets can destroy a relationship. I do not know your entire situation.If he is still hung up on his ex, or having an affair, well then you need to make a decision.
I wish you well.
2007-09-26 15:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by Uni 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't quit your job, or tell him about the spy wear, but keep an eye on what he is doing, if he has seen her in the past and u were hurt by it, know that it could happen again. but none of this could be happening unless he were allowing it. won't do u any good to tell him u know at this time, get the goods on him first than go from there. when u have enough ammunition, than confront, than u and only u will need to decide if its worth it to be married to someone who u can't trust, and who may be cheating behind your back. no wife deserves this not ever, not for any reason. sounds as if all hell is getting ready to break loose, and this is no easy situation your dealing with. but without trust what do u have?
2007-09-26 16:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with spyware with kids in the house. Don't act guilty because if you really got it because of the kids, you don't have to feel like you set him up. Don't quit your job, do confront him. If he doesn't want to talk about it or get counseling then I think you either need to decide if you can go on sharing him with another woman, or if you need to move on without him. I know you know the right thing to do, and only you can make that decision. The problem isn't so much that he's talking to her - its the secrecy and the betrayal that is making it look like more than a friendship.
2007-09-26 15:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetness 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a HUGE PROBLEM when the trust dies in a relationship, esp.for in one of matrimony. Trust is one of the conerstones of the foundation of a blessed relationship. When your husband is making clandestine meetings behind your back, he is violating the trust element. Especially because this has happened before and he knows you do not like it. Honestly, it sounds like he is through with his marriage to you [I am so sorry]. His actions are of someone who is saying, "who cares". Remember, actions speak louder than words. There fore, I cannot suggest counseling because he does not seem interested anymore in a marriage relationship with you. So without saying a word to him, take time aside strategically to make a financial plan, a work schedule, and a therapy plan. These you will need as you file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences [I believe on these grounds it is a much more rapid process]. Do it for your self - respect, your safety, and the safety of your kids.
2007-09-26 15:32:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't quit my job.. and would wait and see what else he says.. if you think you could tell him without him blowing up then do it. To tell you the truth if my husband was doing this I would leave..
I am pregnant right now.. and if i saw this tonight I would leave..
its not right for him to go behind your back .. of course there are trust issues if he does this type of stuff.. and if you do talk to him and you want to stay with him.. tell him that it is not ok for him to do this. And if he wants to be with his ex then tell him to do so.. and stop dragging you and your kids along.
2007-09-26 15:14:52 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way to go about telling him is to print off what you have found. Serve them to him for dinner. GET MAD and let him know you are mad. If he is talking to the ex there is no good can come of it. My best friend in this world was just done like that and now she is the EX. Stop letting him disrespect you like that. Who do you love more...you or him? Are you willing to do nothing and possibly let this woman ruin your marriage? Stand up and get your nerve and tell him about it. Don't be a fool.
2007-09-27 00:42:42 · answer #6 · answered by soulmate_n_nc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well here is my two cents worth.. for starters dont quit your job. And I would definatly tell him that you know what has been going on. I'd tell him if it happened again he could find another place to live. If my husband done that, you bet your *** the **** would hit the fan. He has no reason to be meeting with her, that would really piss me off. Oh my, I'm riled up! If he really cares about your feelings he WILL stop.
2007-09-26 15:35:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they had contact before and it caused problems between the two of you and he is now back in contact he'd be given an ultimatum. I'm not sure he even deserves that opportunity. He is being sneaky and deceitful and I'll bet he wonders why you might have trust issues.
2007-09-26 15:24:17 · answer #8 · answered by Choqs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask your husband about it ask him how he would feel if you were talking to one of your ex's...They are ex's for a reason why would he go back for more..How long have you been married? I will tell you from experience. I was married for 21 years and the ex came back into the picture just talking just friends and now I am the ex and he is with herAGAIN. let me know how it goes...GOOD LUCK
2007-09-26 15:17:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a real jerk. Sorry, yet that replaced into rather rather impolite, disrespectful, shady, and propose. despite the fact that if no longer something occurred, he replaced into incorrect. i know you have slightly one with him, yet i'm telling you that i does no longer positioned up with it. i could certainly kick his *** out. i does no longer evaluate spending my existence with somebody who could do something like that. and that i consider the guy who pronounced 'what in case you had an emergency' whilst he took the keys and grew to become off his telephone. i assume in case you have been taken to the wellness center, he does no longer have everyday until he introduced his sorry *** domicile at 4 a.m. after (maximum probable) cheating on you. What a loser.
2016-10-09 21:45:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋