So im 19 havein my 1st baby and my boyfriends mom really ReaLLy wants to be in the delivery room while i give birth. Is that normaL? Is It wrong of me to be totally grossed/wierded out? I was thinkin of it being just me and my hubby
2007-09-26 14:44:34 · 28 answers · asked by stephybee 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Okay, it is normal for them to want to be there, especially in this day and age. However, the ultimate decision is with you, and your boyfriend needs to be the one to enforce that decision. You have enough crap to worry about. Talk to him about it, tell him the first one you want it to be just the two of you. He needs to be the supportive father and explain this to his mother, without footing the blame on you.
This is your first baby. Do you really want someone to be hovering over you and trying to hold your baby in those first precious moments? She can see the baby afterwards. He needs to nip this in the butt and talk with his mother.
2007-09-26 14:50:25 · answer #1 · answered by gi_binky86 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what's comfortable for you. Personally, I think it's a bit odd, especially in this day and age... but then again, some folks give birth at home with everyone gathered around! Not my cup of tea but to each his/her own. Getting back to you... you need to do what's right for you. If you're uncomfortable with it then she shouldn't be there in the room (she can wait outside with any other anxious family members). Baby's father should definitely be with you, but I'm more into just the 2 of you being there for what I think is more of a private moment in your life. You don't need the added stress of worrying about his Mom being there too. Please explain this to your boyfriend and hopefully the two of you can present a united front to his Mom (don't let this issue divide the 2 of you). Best wishes for a safe (and happy) delivery.
2007-09-26 21:55:31 · answer #2 · answered by spiffy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all about you. If you don't want her there, don't have her there. If you do, say yes. Or you can tell her you don't really know if you want anyone other than your fella there, since you've never given birth before. She has, so she ought to be understanding. Perhaps you can tell her that she can come, and stay as long as you feel comfortable having her around. I had my daughter's godfather there as well as my fella, but I would kick him out every time I had to have an examination. Don't know why it mattered, since the guy was going to watch me have a baby, but it did matter. :)
Basically, it's normal for her to want to be there, and it's normal for you to feel weird :) Do remember to ask your fella too, it's mostly about you, but it's about him too. I had our daughter's godfather there because I didn't want another woman. No matter how hard they try, they either end up crowding out the dad, or just being weird in their efforts not to. Having the two guys made it more like they were a team, especially since neither of them had any more experience than the other.
2007-09-26 21:56:00 · answer #3 · answered by Rosie_0801 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isnt gross for her to want to be there. Once you have your baby you will understand why it is so amazing. I would let her stay in the room. You can always let her know if you feel uncomfortable with her there. Maybe talk to her before hand so that you can have a code of when you want to be alone so you wont hurt her feelings.
I was 19 when I had my first child. I was thinking it would be totally embarrassing to have another person see my privates like that. But when you are in labor you really dont care who sees what as long as your comfortable.
2007-09-26 21:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by Mystie 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt want her in there either. lol regardless of how much I like her or anything else. I would much rather have my hubby and my dr and nurses be the only ones....I would not lead her to believe that this is even an option if it isnt. This is your decision not anyone elses...not even your boyfriends. I have said from day one that it will be my hubby and myself and if they are soooo into delivery they should have their own lol that is me being nasty sorry. Good luck and be firm girl! You will be thankful for not being a pushover when it comes to raising your child cause it is all just starting now. It is your turn to be the mommy and her turn to be grandma...that means you make the rules and her turn to follow them with the fringe benefits of being able to spoil them and send em away so that she can sleep all night long!
2007-09-26 21:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by akhoney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She just wants to be close, be glad she's supportive. If you're worried about hurt feelings causing any problems later explain the situation to your doctor. He can say it's his rule or the hospitals regulation that only allows for one famiily member in the delivery. He should have no problem telling her and doesn't have to worry about later. Then you can apologize and tell her you want her to be there to see the baby as soon as visitors are allowed in. Try to remember this is her boys new baby too, I hope all goes well between you, congratulations.
2007-09-26 22:19:46 · answer #6 · answered by emily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if she can stand behind you. That way she sees no crotch shots, but witnesses her grand baby being born. If your not comfortable with that, have her come in right after birth or something. My mom and I had to be outside for my nephews (her first grand kid) birth. It was the most amazing thing ever, we cried for hours lol. We got to see his first bath, diaper, onesie etc. Just realize that the baby is part of her family as well. Hope this helped.
2007-09-26 21:55:51 · answer #7 · answered by Shelbi =) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked her why? She may just feel like she can be supportive, or she might want to take pictures,or she may just be really excited about the birth of her (first?) grandchild, or she may want to try to protect you and the baby from doctors and nurses that will talk down to you and treat you like crap for being an unwed young mom (btdt;-) If you guys aren't close enough for her to tell you her reasons, then she has no right to watch a baby come out of you!
2007-09-26 21:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by Terrible Threes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to have anyone but my husband in the delivery room. Your boyfriend's mom shouldn't be pressuring you. Stand up for yourself! You can politely tell her that you do not want her in there. If she gives you grief about it, just tell her you're sorry she's disappointed. She'll get over it. Don't worry about hurting her feelings. She is being completely ridiculous!
2007-09-26 22:41:07 · answer #9 · answered by *Honk Honk* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its so up to u... my mother in law wanted to be in the room too and the thought of it made ME not want to be there lol, so i simply told her that my OBGYN doesn't like it when a lot of ppl are in the room she couldn't really say nothing! it ended up just me and hubby and the rest of the family visited after baby came. my point is do what u feel comfortable with cuz having a baby is not the most comfortable thing as it is... good luck and congrats
2007-09-26 21:56:14 · answer #10 · answered by Truth-hurts-sometimes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋