"A Princess Life"
One day in a far away land a princess was born. That little princess was named Princess. Since she was really a princess. She lived with her parents. But one day her dad tried to save her from an evil witch. The evil witch wanted to take her because she had powers. So her dad had to protect her. Her dad went to defeat the witch. He used all his powers he had. Even though he knew it was dangerous that the witch might take his powers. So the witch shot him with her magic stick and he died. Princess didn't know what had happened to her dad because she was berly a baby. Once she grew up and was 13 years old she didn't know she was a princess or had powers. In an early morning when she was waking up her mom came to her a told her what had happened. Princess couldn't believe it. Then her mom told her she had powers and that she was a princess. Once her mom told her the story she asked about the evil witch. Her mom said that the witch had died.
2007-09-26 13:29:22 · 4 answers · asked by stephanie_q2006 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Mythology & Folklore
It's a good story you just need to work on writing it better. Try making the sentences longer and not so choppy. and make sure you check the grammar. But i don't know what grade this is for or if it's for school or not, but it's a cute story.
2007-09-26 13:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by kendzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have it all written in 3rd person. You need to use the viewpoint of one of the characters, probably the princess.
2007-09-26 20:37:56 · answer #2 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your story line is pretty good. I suggest using a better combination of simple sentences and compound sentences. You might want to be aware of run- on sentences.
Other than that, it seems good!
2007-09-26 20:38:25 · answer #3 · answered by Benjaman36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm its ok i guess . . .
2007-09-26 20:33:44 · answer #4 · answered by chaosjatt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋