My husband sometimes drops me off at work. My schedule is 9:30am to 6:00pm, I dont always get off at 6pm. He gets mad because, in the past, I would come down around 6:10pm or 6:15pm after cleaning up some last minute details on loans I was disbursing. He says for this reason, he started emailing me to find out what time I am getting off. I got used to this being the "norm" Today, he came to my job to pick me up at 6:00pm and I wasnt out there. I didnt get an email and I didnt get a call. I had no idea he was out there. When I called at 6:45pm to say I was ready he was screaming at me because he had been sitting outside with our some for 30 minutes. He said I am inconsiderate because I didnt call. I am ignorant because I didnt know he was out there and I should have found out. I know I should have called earlier to find out what was going on, but I assumed he was sleeping because I am so used to getting that email. I understand he is mad, but does this make me inconsiderate?
2007-09-26 13:18:39 · 40 answers · asked by forever charmed 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He left after waiting, knowing I have no other means of getting home.
2007-09-26 13:21:13 · update #1
He called my cell and left a message, but I left my phone at home. But he says its still my fault because I left my phone.
2007-09-26 13:21:58 · update #2
The phone issue is your fault but on the other hand he had his cell phone and he could have called you to your work number when he saw you didn't answer your cell to tell you what was keeping you so long. No i think he is being childish... Don't let her anger worry you. He is having some kind of control issues.
2007-10-04 10:31:14 · answer #1 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down forgive each other and come up with a solid plan that both of you can stick to.
He either calls or emails every time before sitting outside, or you give him a call to let him know when you will be ready.
Inconsiderate no, Ignorant no,, just need a solid plan.
He should take half the blame here and say sorry for getting so upset. He has legs and a phone he could have called or walked up to your office if that was an option.
OK never mind, hes Ignorant and Inconsiderate, I didn't see your additional notes.. Wow he should be in the doghouse tonight or all week for sure.. He didn't have to act like a 4 year old.
2007-09-26 13:23:33 · answer #2 · answered by nelppik 3 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Are you sure this guy is YOUR HUSBAND???
Your husband should treat you like you are special and precious .... Because that is what you ARE SUPPOSED to be to him!!!
Yelling and ranting because you are late getting off of WORK
is rude, inconsiderate, and childish on HIS PART.
Is your husband working??? And either way .... There is NO
EXCUSE for his treatment of you.
Why can't he be patient??? Is he this way with HIS family
and friends .... or JUST YOU???
Either way ... YOU and YOUR husband have a LOT more problems that just "what kind of plan you work out regarding your transportation to and from work"
The fact that you would EVEN have to ASK if you are rude or ignorant .... tells ME A LOT!!!
Do you think that it is RUDE or IGNORANT to expect some
courtesy, compassion, understanding, and patience from
YOUR own HUSBAND.
Don't question YOURSELF! Question your husband!!!
I don't really care how you work out your transportation
situation..... I more concern about you STANDING UP for
yourself .... Realizing that you are precious and special, and
that you DESERVE to be treated as such!
You say that you understand that your husband would be mad.... Well, I don't understand that !!!! You are WORKING!!!
Unless you are DELIBERATING wasting time to MAKE him
wait .... then how are YOU being inconsiderate. Sounds like
you have a job where "certain things" come with the territory.
It is YOUR husband responsibility to UNDERSTAND and ACCEPT that!!!
Work on getting your husband to treat you with courtesy
and respect. You guys can go to couples therapy or marriage counseling .... Or whatEVER .... But that is where YOUR problem lies .... AND YOU NEED TO ACCEPT AND ACT ON THAT!
2007-10-04 08:49:57 · answer #3 · answered by kjh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have let a relatively simple problem become a major one just because of lack of communication. Now you are both touchy about it, both feel you are right, and in fact you are both wrong in your behaviors. You should be able to let this man know what is happening, and he should be able to bring a book or something and deal with it, but neither are choosing to be considerate of the other person. If all else fails, just set a time of 6:30 for a pickup and NEVER keep him past that time waiting. Your dynamics are getting way off and you are both losing. How silly of you both to have found someone to love and let such a stupid thing get in the way.
2007-09-26 13:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by ganna 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are not as inconsiderate as someone who who scream at you with your son in the car. He sounds like a control freak and you sounds stressed out. P.S. Staying behind to clean up last minute details at work could also be considered "controlling what you can control" behavior and an unconcious attempt to avoid being with him.
2007-10-03 10:14:08 · answer #5 · answered by Jody H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very inconsiderate, bossy and has the god-syndrome! He's not your boss!
He's your partner, so you have to treat him as such. Would you like being stood up everyday after your partner asked you to pick him up at 6 but he didn't show up till 7?
Do unto others....
Organise a schedule. If you never finish at 6, then ask him to be there at 6:30 every night. Set an alarm on your mobile phone to remind you it's 6:15- and make sure you're outside and ready at 6:30.
And remember- you don't get paid for staying behind to "tidy up"- you can always do that the next morning (just go earlier).
Imagine if it wasn't your partner- what if it were a taxi? Would they wait?
2007-09-26 13:29:43 · answer #6 · answered by canguroargentino 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sheesh, how hard is it to organize a schedule? It's not about inconsiderate or ignorant, it's about being able to organize. How can you two tackle the harder stuff if you can't even get on the same page as far as pick-up time? This isn't that hard. He picks you up at 6 unless you call him and update him.
I'm curious...do you two have other things like this that you can't organize? If so, then we know what the real prob is.
****additional: I can't believe how many folks here have simply started man-bashing. Don't listen to clueless, unhappy, maladjusted and most-likely unmarried/divorced people like that, they are sooo worthless and live their lives beginning and ending with bitterness.****
2007-09-26 13:41:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just because you're ignorant (uninformed your husband was waiting) doesn't mean you're stupid. If he is considerate enough to pick you up (although not considerate enough to wait a few minutes) maybe you should let him know an hour ahead of time if you are going to be running late. Otherwise, set a fixed time, like 6:15 and wait for HIM at the pick-up spot to show your appreciation.
Better yet, since you work in the loan department, borrow a little cash and get your own car!
2007-09-26 13:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mark in Time 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Why don't you try to clean up a little early of calling him about 10-15 before you are ready. I think I would be a little upset about waiting for a long period of time, I probably would get to the point where I scream and fuss, I would have probably figured out the routine and figured it out on my own on how to handle waiting long periods.
2007-10-03 11:51:07 · answer #9 · answered by teriwilburn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give and take here, think all has been said by everyone else. But you managed to get home with out him this night when he left you to find your own way home. (even though it was wrong of him) I think i'd rather take the stress out of the end of a busy day and organise another method of getting home permanently! but then is he going to question you as to why you are late if you come home via someone other than his impatient self?
2007-10-04 12:19:48 · answer #10 · answered by no more dreamin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋