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1. Oh yeah, we'll see about that
2. Take it easy, don't be nervous
3. You ain't worth a flip
4. Put your money where your mouth is
5. That'll be a dollar
6. I need a drink
7. Whew, ain't smelled nuthin' like that in a long time

Bonus: Not much goin' on here

2007-09-26 11:49:02 · 2 answers · asked by sarge 6 in Education & Reference Words & Wordplay

2 answers

Dodge City, Kansas
Circa 1873

Kitty, The Would-Be Cheerleader"

Sheriff Sawyer of Greenwood, was getting on U.S.Marshal Matt Dillon's LAST nerve.
Sawyer:" I'm telling you....I don't care HOW good a shot you think Sunshine is! My gal Rosa Jane is BETTER!!!"
Matt's usual laid-back nature gave way to his loyality and love for his girlfriend......."(1) Oh yeah, we'll see about that !
(4) Put your money where your mouth is, Sawyer ."
Sheriff Sawyer slapped a twenty dollar bill on the table. Matt did the same.
Sawyer: "Let the GAMES begin." The contest was to take place in Dodge the following day.

On his way home Matt imagined how he would spend that twenty....... "Mmmmm......
Think I'll take Sunny on a little trip to celebrate her victory."
It took all of 5 seconds to persuade her to enter the contest.

The next day, all of Dodge was a'buzz. Festus was selling admission tickets .
Festus:" (5) That'll be a dollar."
Kitty:" Glady. I can hardly wait to see someone put that girl in her place." As Sunshine walked past her, Kitty hissed....."(3) You ain't worth a flip !" Sunshine just smiled and tightened her grasp on Matt's arm.
Sunshine:" Hahahahh. That gets her EVERY time."

Rosa Jane then walked past the crowd.
Festus:"(7) Whew, ain't smelled nuthin' like that in a long time!" Rosa Jane was a part-time pig slopper and hadn't had enough time to clean up, before the gig.
Doc Adams took his seat alongside of Kitty.
Doc:" 'Lo, Kitty. Sooooo.....What's new with you?"
Kitty:" (Bonus)Not much goin' on. Here.........." She handed Doc a glass. Have a little pre-celebration rotgut with me!!"
Doc:"Hmmmm...What are we celebrating ?"
Kitty poured two drinks and clinked glasses with him....."We are toasting Rosa Jane !!! May she win this crazy thing and make Sunshine look like the moron she TRUELY is." She gulped her drink...."Muawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww."

Rosa Jane went first. She took six shots. All hit or almost hit the bullseye.
Kitty stood up in the bleachers.............
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, R.J.
SHE'S THE HOTSHOT! SHE'S THE HOTSHOT!"
As Sunshine took her place at the firing line, Matt leaned over and whispered...."(2)Take it easy, don't be nervous."
Sunshine glared at him and insisted, for the THIRD time, that he sit in the stands and stop hovering.
She took aim....BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!'
At first glance it appeared she had only hit the bullseye one time.
Kitty let out a shreik of delight!!
Rosa Jane was about to grab the Blue Ribbon until the judge yelled out: " WOW!!!! Sunshine hit ALL six shots in ONE HOLE through the bullseye !!!!!"
Sunshine smiled.
Rosa Jane dropped to the ground and pounded her fists. Sheriff Sawyer handed over his money to Matt.
Matt put the money in his pocket and carried Sunshine off on his shoulders , waving his hat.
And Kitty? Well Miss Kitty silently brooded..........
"(6) I need a drink,' she moaned, as Doc kindly poured her a large glass.

2007-09-26 12:02:54 · answer #1 · answered by I am Sunshine 6 · 4 2

Ok, Sarge. I will make an effort and we'll see what happens.

The lone biker rode up to the local watering hole, and shut down the engine. Climbing off of his Harley, he slapped his jeans, and his leather jacket, in an attempt to get rid of the desert dust.
He walked through the saloon doors, and made his way to the bar. Sitting down, he ordered up a beer in a bottle. The bartender gave him a brew, with a shaky hand. Turning around, he dropped a glass on the floor.
"Take it easy, don't be nervous", the young rider said. "I ain't here to rob ya, or cause trouble. I just wanna drink, and have a little peace to do it in."
Two of the local rednecks, who were in the corner the whole time, thought it would be a good idea to pull this fella's chain. The bigger of the two, walked up to the biker and said, "Hey, you! Wanna arm wrestle?" The biker shook his head, signalling a negative answer.
The big guy said, "You ain't worth a flip." The biker turned and looked the redneck in the eye, and said, "Oh yeah, we'll see about that." He pointed to a table in the center of the bar, and said, "Put your money, where your mouth is."
The two men grasped each other's hands, and the other redneck gave the signal to start the contest. As the big, mean dude struggled to get the biker in position, he knew he was in trouble. He pushed and strained, but his efforts were to no avail.
Just then, the big redneck, decided to put his whole body into the push, and then it happened. His bowels cut loose, as he pushed, and then his face got really red.
The young biker looked at him, and said, "Whew, ain't smelled nothin' like that in a long time!" The biker smiled, and said, "That'll be a dollar." After collecting his reward, the headed back to the bar, looked at the now laughing saloon keeper, and said, "I need a drink." The barkeep said, "This one is on the house, and thanks for making a dull afternoon interesting.
The biker got up, walked out the door, and smiled as he followed the white line, down the highway.

There ya are, Howard. I hope ya enjoy it. Thanks for letting me participate. Peace, my friend.

2007-09-26 22:43:33 · answer #2 · answered by bikinybandit 6 · 1 0

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