I need serious answers please!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My husband has just recently been accepted into the RT program in the state where we live. The program is from 8-5 Monday thru Friday for two years. I support my husband in everything he does but I don't know what to do in this situation. My husband will be taking a $4.00 pay cut and also be cut from 40 hours a week to maybe 20 hours. He currently is responsible for paying the rent and his car note (both totaling almost $1300). We have two kids and I already work a full and a part time job. I take care of all the utilities, my car note, and anything that concerns the children. My question is should we consider moving in with my parents until he finishes school or should he reconsider going to school?
FYI-We will be paying my parents $300 a month to stay with them so that would eliminate the light bill, phone bill and the rent.
2007-09-26 11:39:32 · 20 answers · asked by Nubian_Princess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know the idea doesn't sound too grand, moving back in with the folks but we have to see it as temporary and for the better of the family after he finishes with school. I would say definately, if you were given the opportunity, move in with the folks in the meantime. Two years seems like forever but you have kids to think about and their well being. I would move in with them, save up what you can, and when your husband is finished with school, use what you saved up to get a cozy little home :D
best wishes
cc
this is just a small part of your life, 2 years versus your future
2007-09-26 11:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by artsygal_cc86 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't move in with my parents, this will create a lot of tension and men also tend to want to feel like the "provider" and this may kill his precious ego, making him feel "unprovider like" and it will make things emotionally harder on you and the kids, too.
My advice is to split things 50/50 and move into a cheaper place, even if the kids have to share a room, and you might even reconsider the cars you both drive. It would be much more economical for you to drive a decent used car and not have to pay two car notes...perhaps even consolidate the family to a one-car family...I know it will be tough, but a little struggle makes a family a STRONG unit, and this will also help the children learn about budgeting and downsizing for a better cause.
I say split the bills 50/50 because it can wreak havoc on a relationship when one person is paying more than the other when one person makes less, especially as it is in your husband's case now. lower your bills, share them all evenly, and struggle a little while. It will be worth it in the end when you look back and see what you've overcome together as a family, and your larger income after his RT training is complete will be MUCH more appreciated! Then you can move into a larger place, the kids will be thrilled, and the two of you will know you did the right thing.
Good luck, and blessings!
2007-09-26 19:01:37 · answer #2 · answered by diana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what i am actually going to have a similar thing real soon my husband is gonna start school in jan and i know he will be exhausted from work and school and i have talked to him about moving in with his parents to help out and cut back on bills plus we just had a baby so i would like to only work part time til hes done w/ school i think it is a good idea he may not think so though and it will be bcuz he feels that he is grown and has afamily and prob make him feel like less of a man but you need to reassure him that he isnt moving in w/ parents because he is lazy and doesnt want to do anything but bcuz he wants to better himself it will be a good move and less stressful
2007-09-26 18:47:30 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should GO to school. Don't put it off. This is a priority for your future!!!
Have you checked to see what kinds of financial assistance you can get? School loans, WIC, Welfare, etc? If you can't get any additional aid, then consider moving back with the folks. It seems that it's perfectly do-able. Between his part-time job and your 1 1/2 jobs, that equals 2 fulltime jobs. Just like a lot of Americans. If you can't afford your lifestyle on those wages, maybe you need to look at your spending patterns a little closer.
2007-09-26 18:51:10 · answer #4 · answered by equal_opposites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think it would work to live with your parents for two years? It sounds like a reasonable alternative if you think you can all get along. You are working more than enough and your husband might need to find another 20 hour job to make up the difference somewhat. Talk a lot with your parents and husband and see how it all feels to you. Try not to spread yourself any thinner.
2007-09-26 18:46:25 · answer #5 · answered by plaplant8 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While it may be hard, moving in with your parents would be a good suggestion. You would be surprised to find out how much closer you will get with your own parents as you support his career change.
While I'm not married, I do have 3 children, and when I went back to school to become a nurse, I took a huge cut in pay. We moved in with my parents, and while things are tight (they only had 2 extra bedrooms), my children are gaining a love for their grandparents that they wouldn't have had before. It's a great experience for the kids, and they also learn a great deal. My oldest (a senior in high school) just wrote his college application essay on his admiration for me. He said that seeing me make a change in my career at my age and giving up a lot of things to make life easier for him and his brothers have shown him how important school and family is.
The most important thing to remember is that you both have to agree to the move. Otherwise, it will be a constant bickering for 2 years. Good luck, and hang in there.
2007-09-26 18:47:30 · answer #6 · answered by Piper 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok .. this school he's joining .. is it REALLY important and would have a great affect on his career and ur lives ? is it worth all these changes ?
we're talking about TWO YEARS living with stress .. it's really VERY SWEET of u to support ur husband .. shouldn't he be a sweetheart too and reconsider and think twice before he decides anything like that ?
If he's so sure that this is what he wants then moving in with ur parents isnt a bad idea (i guess it would be better than moving in with HIS parents)
GooD LucK ^__^
2007-09-26 19:01:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would avoid living with my parents and especially his like the plague. If it were me, I would take out student loans until he is done with school. I also Stay at home and babysit, so I don't have to pay for childcare and I get some money at the same time.
2007-09-26 18:45:05 · answer #8 · answered by nanners454 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is difficult to ask your parents for help or even if they offer it can be difficult. You are lucky if you have that option and if both yo and your spouse are ok with it, you should do that for the next 2 years. Remember, men sometimes get offended by that so be gentle and caring when you discuss this together. GoodLuck
2007-09-26 23:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by AskMe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW you'd only be paying $300.00 a month to your parents and yet you will be using THEIR electricity, THEIR phone, THEIR heat, THEIR sewer and water and there are going to be FOUR extra people using all of that ONLY $300.00 a month? Are your parents independently wealthy? Take a look at your own monthly household bills, (no cars) THAT is how much extra it is going to cost your parents and you think $300.00 a month is going to cover it all? What planet are you from?
2007-09-26 19:52:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋