Men: What advice would you give to other young men about growing up in our culture?

Question

Growing up as a young man in the western world can be a painful process. Boys and young men are constantly bombarded with messages about how they're idiots, inadequate, or just broken females who need to be drugged into submission. From birth all the way to grave, we are taught that we are oppressors, rapists, pigs. It's no wonder the suicide rate for men is so much higher than for women.

What advice would you personally offer to young men trying to find their way? Relationship advice, how to deal with popular culture, anything. At what age did you personally "wake up" and see the truth for what it was? Did you have a mentor or another catalyst, or did you figure it out on your own?

Answer 1

I would give them the same advice I gave my sons:
Never marry or even co-habitat, have a vasectomy or at least use condoms and never relinquish control over their home to anyone. Above all else, never, ever have children.
Second to that, read, study and educate yourself so you can educate others; don't trust TV and printed "news", always look deeper into what is said, regardless who said it; do not accept anything without proof and watch for innuendo, lies and propaganda in everything from advertisements to news programs. Trust NO ONE and never allow themselves to be put into a position where they lose one iota of self-determination all the while accepting the responsibility for their choices but not accept those of others.

I 'woke up' during the 60's when it was obvious that feminism was a movement of hatred for men while simultaneously becoming a movement for special rights with no responsibility.

Answer 2

My advice would be to take pride in being a man and to show your pride by exemplifying all the best aspects of masculinity. Be a leader by example. Be a protector to those who need protection. Show your strength by showing courage and determination. Treat women with respect and genuineness. Believe in yourself and what you have to offer the world. Nobody can tell you who you are except yourself. Those who want to lump all men together in some negative fashion are no better than those who want to do the same to blacks, or Muslims, or old people. I know that it has gotten some bad press in the years since it came out, but the book Iron John should be required reading for all young men. Reading that book made me realize that it is okay to embrace the things that make us men.

Answer 3

You know I'm sincerely interested in the responses here.

I have two older girls and one 7 yr old boy and I worry about him in this day and age as much as I do my little girls.

I've looked at getting that book 'the dangerous book for boys' as a way to figure out how to get through to him like a dad might. So anyhow.. good show!





.. copycat ;)

Answer 4

yeah to the people who claim we are not bombarded with messages of us being dumb, uselss, pigs, rapists, opressers, idiots it's true we do, look at the media blind retards, and theres your answe, just take a look at the media and it represents all those things said. It's pressured for us

if we shave because we don't want hair on our legs, we're gay

to prove ourselves to mates we have to endure pain, it's funny you know (note the sarcasm)

dumb b itches at school who have a feminist as their mother are taught we are useless and they are superior and i see this at school often, how girls make up games to kick us in the nuts to see if we can take it

no positive advice for us in school, girls have "girls can do anything" and girls are usually favoured by their teachers, thus we are put to the side.

relating to the media i was saying about here are some shows (and yes i know they're entertainment, but the messages in them are wrong) the simpsons (homer dumb, and bart) futurama, famly guy, american dad (all dumb males and smart women) 8 simples rules, yes dear, still standing (all lazy fathers yet their wives are hard working and smart) jackass, dirty sanchez, balls of steel, wild boyz, viva la bam, the dudesons (all guys doing stupid things and hurting themselves) i'd give my house to the next god damn feminist who can name 10 shows that women are degraded in.

i could name more things but i can't be bothered.. it's a harsh world, and if your a boy, be prepared to take it on the chin because your going to be the target of feminists

Answer 5

My main advice would be this:

Never apologize for who you are, what you want, or doing what you believe in.

In fact, keep apologies to an extreme low. Most of the time it's a lie anyway, just tell the truth and explain why you did something rather than saying you're sorry. Because you and I both know you're not sorry.

Don't be a wussy and stay on track with your goals at all times.

Answer 6

- Acting like a pussy-whipped nice guy won't get you anywhere with the ladies. You need a slight attitude, at least.
- Think objectively and don't listen to what everyone or the media says.
- Try to do your best at school, even though most (female) teachers are sexist and the education style caters to girls' learning style.
- Fight for yourself and your brothers.
- Be really careful what girl you want to have a baby with and marry.

I figured it out thanks to people on here who opened my eyes. All I had to do was listen to what they said, and see if I experienced it, and read the studies to see if they were right. It seems they were.

Answer 7

Unless you yourself are special, healthy, and lucky, don't set high expectations for dating/relationships with women your age until you're in your late 20s.

Answer 8

Your question is utterly loaded with assumptions and falsehoods. Most boys and men are NOT 'bombarded with messages about how they're idiots, inadequate, etc.'. We are NOT taught that we are oppressors, rapists or pigs. Well, perhaps YOU were taught that, but I wasn't and neither was anyone I know.

The advice I would give young men is to experience everything they can, look at things as objectively as possible, be aware of how the culture and the media works so that you're not victimized by either, and mistrust people who ask loaded questions like 'when did you wake up' as if it's a pre-proven fact that everyone is asleep until they have some kind of revelatory understanding of 'truth'.

Answer 9

Serin, First thing would be to get a bible and read it cover to cover ! No sex until marrige !Concentrate on the gifts God has given you. Learn as much as possible so you can turn your gifts into a lifelong money making passion ! Be true, faithful and honest gentlemen all your days !

Answer 10

"If" by Rudyard Kipling.