Ive posted this similar question in the correct category but i only got 2 responses.. so i need your opinions. specially what's goin on in a guy's mind..
here's the prob. everytime i go out with my friends, i feel that my bf is upset. this has always occurred everytime i hang out with my friends without him. we see each other every week. and being with my friends happens occassionally. Sometimes I ditch them just to be with him.
i thought i could handle that. but this one is such a big deal for me. im going camping this weekend. and i have invited him to come along. he said he cant cuz he got asthma. of course, i told him that it would be more fun to experience this thing together. but still, i dont want to loose this chance to go nature tripping just because he cant come. we had a fight about it.
why cant he just be happy for me?or tell me that he'll be fine. when he goes out with his barkada without me, he wont hear anything from me. i actually tell him to have a good time.
2007-09-26 10:30:28 · 18 answers · asked by jan-na~♥~ and im luvin it 6 in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
i just want him to be happy with my plans. cuz i dont enjoy my gimik 100% if i know someone is not happy about it.
2007-09-26 10:33:19 · update #1
is it normal for you guys to feel bad when your girl goes out and have a good time with her own circle of friends without you?
i just want to understand men.. specially him
2007-09-26 10:35:35 · update #2
for niz, he knows my friends and we even attend parties together, sometimes with his friends, sometimes with my friends. and i dont see any reason why he should feel jealous, coz im loyal and i love him. ~♥~
and i dont flirt. even if this cute guy in a cafe asks for my number, i never gave it.
2007-09-26 10:55:38 · update #3
Sorry to hear that.
Anyway, I think 007 explained it thoroughly already. If I may add, there are still many factors that can go with a guy's mind. It maybe one of the following:
• he has fears/insecurities/apprehensions that he failed to communicate with you.
• he treats you as his 'everything" at the moment. It seems that his world will not evolve without you. One reason for this is, he never experienced such happiness before and afraid losing it. That is losing you. It seems it will take a long time (re) assuring him of your love and trust before getting his full trust and confidence with you.
• previous relationships that you have discussed already. Afraid of being compared to someone else.
• the manner how your relationship blossomed the first time.
• intellectual level.
• status in the society and workplace.
• many more.
One thing that works for guys is to delicately take care of their ego. (sorry guys)
Finally, talk to him regarding the 'problems' and should come up with solutions or 'compromise'. If this 'meeting' will become unreasonable for both of you (hope not), give yourselves a couple of days or weeks without communication. Do this only if the cards has been laid out on the table already. The 'lie-low' thing is only to give yourselves time to have an 'examination of conscience' as I call it. This will give you time if you can still reach a compromise or not. There are some things that do not work the way we like it but can give in. Also, there are some things that we cannot sacrifice no matter what.
Hoping for the best.
2007-09-26 14:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A good bf is one who's supportive and who'd even encourage you to have fun with your friends. A bad bf is one who's selfish and who'd curtail you and not let you enjoy the company of others. Maybe, your bf is somewhere in between. You have invited him (it's not like you have totally excluded him) and he didn't want to tag along. That's more than enough capitulation on your part. If you really want to go, I think you should, jan-na. And do have a nice time! There's always another time for you and the bf to be making sweet moments. But for this weekend, let it be the camping trip with your friends. CHEERS!
2007-09-26 11:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
When my wife and I were younger and still dating, she would be upset when I go out on gimmicks with my friends. I realized then that her world almost revolved around me, and I did not think it was healthy for our relationship. So I gently pushed her to go out with her friends, even creating and "inventing" those opportunities. She began to regain life away from me. That made our relationship stronger - - whenever we were together it seemed more special.
Having said that, I quite honestly don't see why your bf will behave that way, after reading up even your edits.
There is something wrong here, and this needs to be resolved. It can not go on forever, because you will lose your life. And you will feel bitter for having allowed it to happen.
I hate to say it , but I feel you must bring this to a head, no matter the outcome.
2007-09-26 18:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by boyplakwatsa.com 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The main thing here from a guys perspective is the guy may be thinking that you are out there flirting or trying to get with other guys. This will be seen as worse if you hang out with your friends without ever including him and perhaps some of his friends for joining you. Also he may think that you value your friends more than him and are not really serious about your relationship.
2007-09-26 10:48:03 · answer #4 · answered by JNNJ 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
he sounds insecure and that's a personal issue he needs to deal with....my honey's the first to tell me to go out and have fun. i think he needs to toughen up and act like a man and not some insecure little boy. there's nothing worse for me than a man without a backbone. if you do things like not hanging out with your friends without him just to make him happy, he will expect that from you ALL the time. before you know it, you'll lose all your friends, your life will revolve around him, he'll tell what to wear and not to wear, what not to eat, etc. etc.
the sooner he knows that you have a life with or without him, the better. that way, you'll both realize if you're meant to be together or not before it's too late.
2007-09-26 11:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
In the cave where I came from, guys are happy when their girls are happy. It seems your guy grew up in a different cave. Looks like he suffers from acute cognitive hedonism, a deepseated behavioral malady that is almost incurable. That’s trouble in the horizon.
Since you're allowing him to have his fun with the boys, he should learn to reciprocate and return the favor. He needs to learn a lesson.
Go out camping and have a good time. Follow where your heart leads you. Good luck.
2007-09-26 11:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend sounds insecure but put yourself in his place you are going camping and he has to miss out i have friends of mine that have asthma and they do everything but each to his own. Maybe you need to talk to him nicely and reassure him that your feelings for him are solid and not to worry but at the same time you don't get to camp that often and don't feel that you should have to miiss out cause he won't go or tell him that if he was going you would want him to have fun and tell you all about it when he got home so good luck and hope it works out for you
2007-09-26 10:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by ken j 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's going on in your boyfriend's mind is not pretty. As your relationship gets more serious, you might get scared about how possessive he is of you. Please find a boyfriend that does not easily get jealous. I've seen guys like this stalking their ex-girlfriends after getting dumped. Guys like this are the ones who are most prone to engage in acts of domestic violence when they marry or live with their girlfriend. He needs to mature, and maybe he will, but you need to protect yourself by breaking up with him before he gets too fixated on you. Please, I beg of you, from a guy who knows how to read guys, ditch him because he has the potential to be dangerous.
2007-09-26 11:19:29 · answer #8 · answered by williamsonworks 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to loose this guy, he is not secure about himself and doesn't trust you at all. I have been married for 12 years, my husband and I trust each other, we have our separate circle of friends, he goes out with them with or without me, and I go out with my friends with him sometime and without him most of the time. Most of my friends are male, if your bf is secure and totally trust you he shouldn't mind you having fun with your friends.
2007-09-26 10:42:04 · answer #9 · answered by ELSEE 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you can live without your friends then settle with this guy.a partner who truly loves you always put a smile in your face. what makes you happy makes him happier.janna if you cant do what you want to do now how much more after the "i dos".think about it but for the meantime go on camping....goodluck.hugs
2007-09-26 21:11:18 · answer #10 · answered by tisya 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋