How can I be better at making eye contact with people?

Question

I guess I'm a pretty girl, but I'm so self-conscious that I never want to look anyone in the eye, especially good-looking people. I just feel so uncomfortable, and I get so nervous and it seems like my left eye is straying and it feels weird. How can I look people in the eye without being so nervous and edgy?

Answer 1

There are many old notions that constantly reappear because they are intuitive, it is easy to see them come about. One of the ideas, and Hollywood loves to use it, is that the 'eyes are the windows to the soul'. To a sensitive person, such as yourself, if I were looking directly and focused into your eyes you would likely feel uncomfortable very quickly. A common complaint against men is that women say that they are being 'undressed with their eyes'. You can follow the motion of the gaze and see the places where they stop and note little changes of expression. Most women know exactly what the man is thinking at that moment. For that, being virtually nude in the man's imagination, would be uncomfortable. Looking into your eyes might elicit a similar response, because I might glimpse you, the real you. The real you, the person looking out at the world through those windows would similarly feel naked, vulnerable.

Once you realize that this really isn't true then you can relax and look at people with more confidence. Most people will assess what they see in broader appearance and results of interactions--not the imagination of what is inside. You walk out into the world with a suit of clothes and at some point had to have confidence (especially with some of women's fashions) that you could be comfortable and secure in the draping of fabric, in the coverings, you need to do this mentally as well. As for the sense of the lazy eye, here is a strategy, do your eye contact just as you do the physical greeting contact--pointedly correct, but practically brief. You don't spend five minutes pumping someone's hand in a handshake greeting. If you kiss in greeting, you linger hardly at all with that contact. Longer kisses mean something else. So, make your eye contact and move on. Try the Audrey Hepburn thing, indirect looking, facing partly away but rolling your eyes widely toward the person. What ever you do, they cannot see inside you, to the real you, so you are safe in yourself. Okay?

Answer 2

practice in the mirror, focus on your own eyes. and what you look like when your making eye contact, look at your facial expressions, practice different ones. and stick with one you like. it helps your confidence when you know what you look like while doing something you'd usually feel uncomfortable about.

Answer 3

i have the same problem, and i wish i can find an answer. But, i am thinking to look in th eye no matter what they think of me!

Answer 4

It helps if you smile!