My ex-fiance and I broke up 5 mos ago. We have 2 children together a 2 year old and 1 year old. I didn't want to be so quick to put him on child support because I wanted to give him a chance to support his kids without using a 3rd party and most of all the LAW. I notice that every month he gives me stories (LIES) about his finances. Story after story and I keep on catching him in lies regarding his finances. The money that he do send is chicken feed and I know that this is done for spite. However, I still want to be reasonable about this and do not want things to get UGLY. I was thinking about sending a certified letter to his house with a well outlined agreement of how much of his share he should pay every month along with his responsibilities and get his signature and just work out an agreement that way.... This would be more like a "promise to pay and take care of my kids" type of agreement that can maybe be used in court........ Or should I just go on and file child support?
2007-09-26 09:54:11 · 9 answers · asked by Alexis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
File for child support. If he knows he can keep putting you off, he will!
2007-09-26 10:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by mrspoppy1004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So far the only person you seem to be concerned with is yourself. Child support has NOTHING to do with you and you should be concerend with your children being supported financially PROPERLY. A certified letter and a drawn out agreement on your part is nothing. He doesn't HAVE to comply with anything YOU say, he can just as easily tell you and the children to go to hell. There is no way to be "reasonable" about this, your CHILDREN need food, clothing and a roof over their heads. The hell with HIS feelings. Your "promise to pay" MIGHT hold up long enough in court to wipe the butt of the judge but that is ALL it is good for. The judge would toss you and your "agreement" out of his courtroom while laughing at you. Do the right thing for your CHILDREN rather than trying to do the right thing for him. HE's a big boy and can take care of himself, your children't can't.
2007-09-26 17:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound negative, but you need to file child support (court ordered). "promise to pay" trust me sweetie they will be broken. Some men feel that because they are not with the woman they don't have to support their child(ren). I understand that you don't want to involve a 3rd party but if you don't you will find yourself supporting your children by yourself. I went through the exact same thing, and just as your situation lies, and more lies. I waiting 2 years before I file and once he was served, he then wanted to work out an agreement. By then it was too late.
2007-09-26 17:09:14 · answer #3 · answered by con par 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would a signed statement make him any more likely to support his children? You already have a verbal agreement that he's not respecting. And you said he lies about his financial situation out of spite....sounds to me like things are already UGLY. My advice is to file for child support through the Courts.
2007-09-26 19:15:24 · answer #4 · answered by janine o 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
File for child support NOW. Don't wait! He is obviously not going to be responsible about it, and you sending a certified letter means nothing if it isn't a court order.
2007-09-26 17:02:06 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel sorry for the father. go and file for child support. once he get those paper in the mail that will make him change his mind. u will get a set amount for him to pay. leaving u with 2 very young kids is terrible.. dont give in to that little bit of change he gives u. of course u will accept it cause u need the money.... its not a 3rd party thing u only need that 3rd party to enforced child support,, think of your kids . was he supporting the kids before he left. does he have a decent job.....
2007-09-26 18:25:15 · answer #6 · answered by mickey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for child support. You always need the courts backing on such matters.
2007-09-26 16:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to court and file the support papers NOW!!!!
2007-09-26 17:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what this is not about u this is about your kids.....you are still trying to spare his feeling and not thinkin about nthe kids....this is not about you file child support and let it be that they will contac him and do all the necessary things if he's lieing to you he can't lie to them they take it out of his check automatically.......do whats right for the kids and put your emotional feelings aside........this is bigger than you
2007-09-26 17:12:17 · answer #9 · answered by mojajazmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋