He quit suddenly on Sat night after all his adult life smoking. Sunday he was extremely nasty all day, and in front of the kids. I suggested he get patches or something and tried staying out of his way. He only dcided to get the nicotine gum on Tuesday .I smoke under 10 a day and since he quit I've been going outside the house. Tonight I stood at the back door, door open and kitchen door shut (so it wouldn't go further in the house) as it was cold and dark. He came storming in shouting at me saying how hard it is for him etc You might think I am not being supportive but there have been times over the years eg when I was pregnant or ill and I stopped smoking and he kept smoking in the kitchen. I never asked him to stop or go outside, and he never offered. As he was so nasty on sunday, it is hard to feel supportive of someone who called you a f*ing b*tch in front of your young kids, said he hated you etcHe has never asked for my support, just ranted and shouted more than usual.
2007-09-26 09:46:35 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
going through the same problem myself at the moment. I love my husband but he can be a right moody idiot at times, especially when he's craving.
My advise is just keep your head down, bite you tongue and hope it will pass soon. he doesn't mean it when he calls you a *****, just don't respond, and then late (when he's calmed down) point out that you haven't raised your voice, sworn at him, or called him names, so therefore he should pay you the respect to do the same. He won't admit it but he'll feel like an idiot and although he'll probably do it again, it will grate him and make him look stupid if he continues.
As for saying you're not supportive cos you're not giving up, it's a bit of give and take. He's just looking to blame someone or something for his bad temper, cos men never like to blame themselves. I bet you if he starts smoking he will use this as his excuse "well you carried on and didn't support me" when really will power is about you and not your partner.
It will get better (I'm hoping!)
2007-09-26 21:58:54 · answer #1 · answered by Orphelia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Natural Quit Smoking Magic
2016-05-17 03:43:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you quit, which I recently have, you will not understand how disgusting and how strong the smell is. My partner told me he had quit but it was obvious he hadn't. He would brush his teeth and chew gum, spray deoadrant etc but I could still smell it. I remember quitting and the next day sorting out my wardrobe. Even the clean clothes in my wardrobe stunk of ciggies! I replaced my smokes with lolli pops and coffee (not together lol, either or!).I was evil for a week, then I also got a hobby and started going to the gym. As I could feel myslef getting fitter, the cough going and breathing better. I don't want to smoke now and even my mother in law, who refuses to smoke in our 'cold garden' (!) and puffs away in the kitchen, doesn't bother me (well, no more than usual!).
Things will get better,you just have to put up with it for it for a little while cause he's had the habbit a long time, either that or he will be back on the smokes soon....
I always joke, the only thing worse than an ex- smoker is someone giving up..... Go buy him a box of 20...! LOL
Good luck to him, it's hard but worth it!
2007-09-26 10:04:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the advantage of knowing what it's like to not be supported. Remember how it felt? Remember how hard it was? You have a chance to join him now. Maybe you should think about quitting too. The name calling is totally out of line but quitting really is difficult. Of course he's a grumpy bastard. That will get better in little time. Of course he didn't ask for your support, men don't do that. Think about quitting with him and work out a deal where if you are both grumpy and want to smoke you kiss or have sex instead! Try to support him as much as you can even though you want to claw out his eyeballs. The man you know and love will return soon. Good luck ;)
2007-09-26 09:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know my husband quit for 8 hours and was a complete *** he started agin after that..you just have to ride the storm stay out of his way let him know that you understand what he is going through but to try and lay off the insult ESPECIALLY in front of your children he is being an *** because he has smoked for so long and people react dif when they stop maybe you should go to the store and get the patch for him but it is always easier to quit when you have support and try to quit with him or suggest that he trys to do it gradually instead of cold turkey also i believe something new has come out that doc perscribe you to help quit and my boss has been taking it and has only smoked about 3 cig a day now..call your doc and find out more about it
2007-09-26 10:00:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have quit smoking before and remember what a bear I was. When you smoke for so long your body becomes used to what your puttinginto it. He is going into withdrawls and it ain't pretty. THe things he said to you in front of your kids were not right. He needs your support but he needs to realize he isn't going to get it by acting like a jerk. Let him go on this one next time knee him in the nuts he will forget about smoking for a while and might check his attitude at the door.
2007-09-26 09:59:42 · answer #6 · answered by SicilianMomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly let me say that he is bang out of order.
However this is nicotene withdrawal and it makes us nasty. You need to tell him to use the gum more often. Dont be afraid of it. Nicotene alone is harmless. He can cut down much later but for now he needs it.
But he would be more likely to stop and stay stopped if you quit too, Sorry i know everyone will say this but its worth it. He shouldnt have to ask for your support - your his wife and he's entitled to it. You quit for your kids health, this time quit for your husbands.
If you really cant - completely leave the house to smoke. I'm only 3 weeks into quitting and i know its hard.
The very best of luck to you both.
PS - The fags are not worth your marriage!
2007-09-26 09:54:17 · answer #7 · answered by Tartan Duck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he normally yell at u and in front of the children? he could just really be having a nicotine fit. that happens when u suddenly just stop. Nicotine is a drug and his body is not getting it,so it is going through a change. Since u still smoking he may fill the urge to wanna keep smoking. ur his temptation and when ur around something thats addictive 2 a person its making them wanna try it again. all i can say is stop with him. Thats the best support cause in the long run its gonna benefit ur kids. i have asthma and not being able to have clean air 2 breath is not a great feeling. so stop and see what happen. can u or are you that addicted to smoking????????????????
2007-09-26 10:04:11 · answer #8 · answered by J J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I quit over 10 years ago. When i tried, it was "cold turkey". I remember doing exactly the same things you are describing. Trust me, it will pass. I recall trying to make my wife mad so she would say "I liked you better when you smoked!", and then I would have an excuse to start again. This will pass. I yelled at my kids, I yelled at my wife, I was a real grouch. But I'm glad she never gave in, and I'm very glad I quit. Just be supportive, and understand the intense physical reactions that are going on in his body right now. good luck! HTH.
2007-09-26 09:51:34 · answer #9 · answered by David B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a really bad habit to break. Just a consideration that maybe you too should try to stop. It would be healthier and you could support each other. It's probably really hard for him to refrain from smoking if you are doing it around him.
I totally disagree with him swearing and calling you such a foul name in front of your children, or ever, for that matter.
2007-09-26 09:53:32 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋