2007-09-26 09:35:12 · 22 answers · asked by babypants 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That phrase is sooo over used. You need to redefine what the problem is in your relationship, & fix it.
Marriage is about commitment, communication, love, change, hardwork.
Love changes, as does the days, and life.
2007-09-26 09:41:21 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Love is not a feeling.
Lust is a feeling.
Love is what you give to the other.
If you "love them" it means that you give your love to them.
If you are "in love" with them, it means that you either you care more about them than yourself, or it means that you lust after them, or both.
But really, lust is the body’s way to push you to have kids.
If your body is not pushing you to have kids, do not worry about it. Soon you will have feelings of wanting grandchildren (assuming you have had kids).
If you want more kids, and are too old, there are many good ones to adopt from other countries.
If you have "fallen in love" with a man not your husband, you must ask yourself which is more important, you feelings or his feelings.
You may wish to stop reading this here, as the following might be too near the truth for comfort...
A woman who just wants to dump a good husband should just say, "Gee honey, you are a wonderful husband, but I want to be an unfaithful *****, but at least I am telling you about it first so that you can divorce me before I give you aids..."
Well, there you have it. I believe this was an opinion question, and I think most men prefer 100% honesty.
Most women prefer 100% love.
Most marriages prefer both : )
And just because someone is "in love" with someone else, does not mean that they have to do anything about it!
But a marriage is a commitment. That is the nature of the covenant. It cannot be cancelled, only polluted.
Be a good and faithful and supportive wife, if possible, or at least tell him about it if you cannot, and let him decide for himself.
2007-09-26 16:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by Romney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do would be to get a divorce that would tell him you love him.
If you do not love him after thirteen years, then you need to make him happy and get a divorce, and it is obvious you need to make yourself happy, if you have children, I feel sorry for them, they are going to be caught in the middle of a divorce and you have strung this out for thirteen years, to bad, the kids are going to be traumatized by a divorce, they are nasty, been through that when I was a kid, and never again, I have been married to the same man for fifteen years, and we have had our problems, but we have a beautiful daughter 10 years old, and we have always done everything we could do keep our marriage together.
We were seperated, reconciled, renewed our vows and now I can't even imagine my life without him!!!!!
You have kept this in for thirteen years, please, for the best of everyone involved, get a divorce, do not do this to you, or him or your children if you have any, any more.
2007-09-26 16:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off - what does "in love" vs "love" mean to you?
Second - why would you want to tell them? What would you be trying to achieve?
If after 13 years of marriage you still "love" the person - what more can you ask for? Are you expecting the "passionate" stage of the relationship last forever? It can't; it won't. The "high" wears off, you have to come down eventually. If you're unhappy about certain aspects of a relationship, you need to discuss these aspects specifically. People change, relationships change; be realistic in your expectations.
2007-09-26 17:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. You'll just be breaking his heart. Why not give him a chance to find someone who DOES love him enough to care and not destroy his self-esteem? Would you like it if you wasted 13 years of your life and all of a sudden your husband told you: "You know what honey, I love you but I'm not "IN LOVE" with you..." How would that make you feel? Before you say anything, think if it is completely necessary or if you could just as well walk away from this relationship, knowing that, at least, you didn't destroy a person's heart.
2007-09-26 16:50:56 · answer #5 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn i could have wrote this question! I was married for 13 years to the guy i thought i was going to be with forever. We got married I was 19 he was 22. Well needless to say we are no longer married after 13 years because i realized i loved him and cared for him but was not not in love with him. He didn't take it well at first but now we have been divorced for over a year and apart two years and we are better friends although we still have stuff to work out. We also have two children together so we work on our friendship for them. You need to be honest with him and yourself. Good Luck!
2007-09-26 16:44:59 · answer #6 · answered by SicilianMomma 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that's harsh.... and sad... my parents broke up because my mom, im pretty sure WAS having an affair with my NOW step-dad, and the reason why i say "i think" was my dad tells me yes, and i don't dare to ask my mom right now ssoooooo yeah i can't help you here, i'm sorry.. but as a 16 year-old guy, who has had this experience, with my parents and yeah i think my mom still loves my dad but yeah.... i say try to work it out, and try to do great things together and alone and take a vacation together, a romantic one, and just try to stay together... and i take it that you have kids with him right? well then don't get a divorce, its tooooo bad for the kids.... and do romantic things together and for you anniversaries, be VERY VERY romantic! Good Luck, and I hope your love for him grows/grows back to where you are madly in love with him!
2007-09-26 16:44:05 · answer #7 · answered by Zemarik 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why would you want to do that? if you are married you should know that in order for a relationship to work there's go to be something called LOVE, this is just not there it needs maintenance, i'm sure you loved your husband when you married him right? well how would you feel if he tells you he doesn't love you?? think about it and start giving maintenance to that feeling...
2007-09-26 16:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
When my husband told me he loved me but was not in love with me several years back I became so upset I got thrown in jail! So with that said when you do say that make sure you are ready for a divorce. No one deserves to be told that face to face when they are still IN LOVE with you. Have some sense and care about him and not yourself. If you are going to get a divorce just get one don't hurt his feelings while you are still together.
2007-09-30 12:49:26 · answer #9 · answered by Saude! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not tell them, unless you are ready for divorce... and I really DONT recommend divorce. Do you remember the things you used to do when you were TOTALLY in love with him?? You need to start doing those things again.. and loving feelings will come back. Love fades for everyone.. but it can be rekindled. Get involved in each others lives again.
2007-09-26 16:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by Wayne 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋