Did I cheat on my husband?

Question

I went to a niteclub and was dancing with this really handsome guy and as we were dancing I kissed him about 3 times, should I tell my husband? I love my husband but he never tells me that I am attractive or that I look good,(I know I am a pretty girl but like to hear it from my husband) so when other men show me attention I love it, but would rather get it from my husband. I have talked to my husband but he says that its just the way he is.

Answer 1

You didn't cheat, that didn't harm your husband, and most of the people criticising have done far more. Dancing and/or kissing on occasions is normal and, if it is good for you, it is good for your husband and marriage because it makes you a less dissatisfied wife.

We all thrive on compliments and, if your husband doesn't give them to you, then you certainly have the right to get them elsewhere. Whatever happens, don't tell you husband.

Answer 2

I need to ask this - Did your husband compliment you and give you attention before you were married? If he did, then why is he all of a sudden 'not that way' or if he didn't, why think he would change how he is now? Some people show affection verbally; others physically and some do it both ways. I do think you need to discuss the fact you really need him to give you a compliment once in a while; just so you do feel desired by him. You acting out your need for attention by kissing another man is a sign that you are heading for big trouble. Don't do it again; it is a form of cheating. Would you feel your husband cheated on you if he kissed another girl the same way 3 times? You very well may need to tell your husband what happened and that it scares you; that you allowed this to happen because of your obvious need to have someone show you how they feel. Hopefully, it will wake him up to the fact that he could lose you one day if he doesn't give 'just a little bit more' from his heart.

Answer 3

Yes that's cheating..You should tell your husband how you feel and what happened. Then the ball would be in his court. But know that there will be conseqences for your actions (ex: lhurt, ost of trust, arguing, resentment, bitterness, etc...). But it's up to him to forgive you, you've done all you could by telling him the truth. But don't make excuses for kissing another man, for whatever reason you have there is no excuse and it's not acceptable. If you wanted to get that attention from your husband you should have danced with your husband instead. If you were in your husbands position how would you feel if he kissed another woman, and didn't feel sorry or remorseful about it? With you being a married woman you shouldn't be in a club anyway. If you love your husband like you say you do tell him the whole truth. Not part of it, but all of it. Don't be deceiving. Admit that you made a mistake and that you won't put yourself in a situation for it to happen again. At the same rate ask him if he would just "try" to compliment you atleast once a day....I can tell that your love language is words of affirmation (like my wife).

Answer 4

Duh, don't tell your husband of course. No, you didn't cheat. He probably wouldn't be happy to hear that you kissed some guy, but hey, these things happen. If you feel you shouldn't be doing it, then don't do it again. That your husband doesn't shower you with compliments is a poor excuse for doing things you feel are wrong; he is the way he is, and I'm sure he shows you his affection in other ways - if it was unacceptable to you, you shouldn't have married him; no one is absolutely perfect. Perhaps he doesn't have a problem with you occasionally making out with other guys; you can talk to him and ask him if he minds if you occasionally sneak some attention elsewhere. But showing up at the house and telling him, "honey, I just kissed this really hot guy because you don't tell me I'm attractive" is the worst way to approach the issue.

Answer 5

I understand that you are feeling really needy at this point. I do think that you crossed the line there. Yes, it is a form of cheating, but it's not like you slept with the guy. I would definitely tell your husband because you would probably want to know if he did that, right? However, I would also let him know without blaming him, that it is really important to you that he lets you know you are beautiful. That you tried to tell him, but he said, that is just the way he is...and you need him to try harder. I would definitely let him adjust to what you say about the kiss first though...I would probably wait a couple of days before bringing the rest of it up, because he will think you are justifying what you did. Good luck to you..let him know that it will never happen again.

Answer 6

If you learned your husband had kissed another woman 3 times (in the same way you kissed this guy), would you consider that cheating? Would it hurt your feelings?

You either need to learn to live with your husband "just the way he is", see if counseling can help improve things, or divorce and seek out someone who gives you the attention you desire.

Why did you marry a man who doesn't show affection/attention when you seem to require it? Not a good match (I've been there, won't do it again).

Answer 7

If my wife kissed another dude, I wouldn't want to know about it. It will cause more problems if you tell your husband, but let him know you need more affection, because you are heading towards real cheating down the road. If you get away with the kissing and nothing changes the next time there will be b00bs involved and on and on after that till next thing you know you will be on Yahoo answeres saying you banged a hot guy and don't know if you should tell hubby or not.

Answer 8

The definition of cheating is what some one else thinks. If you don't then you didn't. Some one else might think differently, but then some will think that since you were out of the house without your husband and not covered head to toe means that you were cheating and they would drown you in the nearest swimming pool, or stone you. It is all a matter of opinion. In my opinion, go get all the compliments that you can. Up to the point of scr*wing the guy you are not cheating.

Answer 9

You cheated on your husband and I don't think you really give a **** because you actually thought he was a good looking man and you kissed him and were dancing with him. So your husband does not give you compliments. Does not give you the right to hang off guys at a nightclub you should not even be at a nightclub being married you should be with your husband not being a whore!

Answer 10

I guess this would depend on your definition of "cheating" and the limits of your relationship. Would you consider your husband kissing & dancing with another woman to be cheating??

(Amazed that more couples don't have this discussion... )

You liked the attention from these guys (and you're using your husband's lack of attention as an excuse to justify your actions)... as long as you haven't crossed any boundaries that you've set as a couple - then you haven't "cheated"

Otherwise... yes, you have.

Answer 11

Showing affection towards another man such as kissing is cheating. Don't tell your husband. But you must seek help before you end up losing your marriage. Even if your husband denys there is a problem you need to seek professional help who from there can guide and advise you on what to do about your problems. Best of luck to you!