put more effort into your relationship
do more of what it was that made her marry you.
remind her of how much you love her.
2007-09-26 09:08:07
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answer #1
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answered by hurts so good 6
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Splitting up is not the answer..marriage is for better or for worse. Love is not always 50/50 sometimes someone is doing 80% of the loving while the other is giving only 20%. It's a constant balancing act. You obviously still love her. I would suggest finding a way to rekindle what you all have lost. Hang in there till you have given it your all, and then some. Get away for the weekend, or cook and clean the house. Sometimes we as woman don't fall out of love with a man but become irritated with him because he doesn't acknowledge all the hard work we put into a relationship. We feel unvalued. Acknowledge her completly through your words and tell how much you appreciate her for everything she is doing and has done. Remind her she is still the love of your life. It may be she thinks you fallen out of love with her. Assuming that she is not in love anymore is the last thing you want to do..cause when you assume you make an *** out of you and me. Maybe she is going through something personal that has nothing to do with you at all. She is a woman. Talk to her, cause woman love nothing more than conversation and lots of touching. Take her away for the weekend and have some quiet time together to get to the bottom of whatever the issue really is. Your unsure right now what exactly it is and may not even be you. Until you can pinpoint the exact issue you can't even begin to work on it and fix it. Find some one-on-one time specifically for your wife, talk, be open to listening, and re-assure her. Woman need daily, constant re-assurance. Don't give up on her, 11 years is a long time and throwing it away is all to easy. Remember back to how and why you all fell in love in the first place and bring back those old tools to put a flame back in your relationship. Good luck!
2007-09-26 09:14:11
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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You don't say why she has fallen out of love. Could she be overwhelmed with children, housework and/or bills? Those are the leading causes of a woman's discontent in a marriage, that and the husbands lack of attention and consideration. Try surprising her with a gift or time away from the home spent between the two of you. Love needs to be nurtured even in marriage. Some think that once married, the courtship is over, but that's not necessarily the way it should be. Court your wife, as if she was your girlfriend and you are trying to make your way into her heart. That may go a long way toward saving your marriage. Also marriage counseling may be very helpful. It could encourage her to express feelings of unhappiness that she doesn't normally express with you. You need to open the door to communication above all else and listen to her. Then act together on the things that she has said. I hope it works out for you, and good luck.
2007-09-26 09:12:08
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answer #3
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answered by sustasue 7
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First ask yourself what you want. Do you want to save the relationship or not? If the answer is yes are you willing to work at it?
If the answer is still yes, find an opportunity to talk to your wife about it. No matter how you feel, don't take the defensive approach. the only way to have a chance at success is to take all the blame. If she feels partly responsible, let her say so, don't you do it.
Tell her you want to change the dynamics and make things work so that you are both happy. Ask her what she thinks you need to do and hope that her answers are within the realm of possibility. If they are, tell her you are going to do everything in your power to do those things. Of course, you're not going to turn the world around in a day. Make sure she knows that your efforts will be immediate, but some results may take a little longer.
If she opens the dialogue to what she should do differently, be honest but very careful. If you can't be honest without coming across really mean, pass on the honesty for now.
2007-09-26 09:12:23
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answer #4
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answered by nevit 4
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Don't be hasty with the divorce. 11 years is a long commitment just to toss away without a lot of thought. Talk to your wife, also seek counseling. If you can save your marriage and the 11 years you have been married it's worth a few hours time and a little effort from you both. Good luck, I know it's hard, and I'm not saying don't get a divorce, I'm just saying weigh your options and see if there's any way you can make it work and you both still be happy.
2007-09-26 09:08:10
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answer #5
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answered by Steph 5
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well, science has shown that a way to reignite those jittery, high feelings associated with new love is by doing new things together. the adrenaline rush of doing something new will then be associated with the person the event is done with. try something new with your wife. surprise her, but make sure it is something that she would be interested in. if she's an indoor person, don't surprise her with a camping/boating trip.
also, be more openly affectionate with her. when you're sitting on the couch together, unexpectedly hold her hand. hug her, even if she doesn't initially hug you back. stay consistent and she will realize that you are serious and not just going through a temporary phase.
if you think she looks beautiful, tell her. realize that she may be caught off guard because this probably isn't your usual behavior. don't expect her to immediately return the sentiment. stay consistent, stay affectionate and time with show her you are serious. make an effort to plan nights alone once a week. send the kids to grandma's for the night, rent a movie, and just have fun.
2007-09-26 10:37:13
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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A good sign that she hasn't "fallen" out of love with you is the fact she is still waking up in your bed.
Here is an idea. Out of the blue give her a single rose. Women love flowers, trust me, I've been married for 31 years so I'm up on you by 20.
If she works, call her and tell her you will pick her up and then go to some nice restaurant (it doesn't have to be the most expensive place in town, but definitely cross out McDonald's).
Tell her to order from the left side of the menu (that's the one without the price).
Then do a movie.
The idea is you want to surprise her. Make her feel like she's still loved.
Those of you who advise a separation or divorce obviously haven't been married too long.
I'm speaking from experience.
2007-09-26 09:12:38
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answer #7
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answered by David T 6
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If you still love her, try to communicate with her and find out whats really bothering her. Usually when a wife falls out of love with her husband, its because they don't spend quality time together, and most of the time, the husband stop being romantic. A bunch of flowers with a handwritten card (telling her that your love for her never diminshed since the day you've met) or a night out without the kids are the best ingredients in maintaining a healthy marriage.
2007-09-26 09:12:29
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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At least you care enough to ask. My wife has known that this year has been very difficult for me both professionally AND personally, yet says nothing and does nothing unless it directly effects her. It's certainly possible that your wife has fallen out of love with you. But the fact that you actually care shows a glimmer of hope for the two of you.
2007-09-26 09:23:39
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answer #9
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answered by ? 5
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Marriages ebb and flow like the tides. There will be good years and bad years and once your figure that out its a whole lot easier to deal. Full of compromises, letting people have their space, giving up things, allowing things... no marriage works any different, at least not one that lasts a long time. Talk to her, take her away for a weekend if you must.
But communications are key to a long lasting marriage.
2007-09-26 09:09:46
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answer #10
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answered by Tapestry6 7
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U can set up a romantic weekend including ALL the things u KNOW she likes and wants and if shes still acting differently after that then Tell her thats what u think and ask her if ur wrong and ask her what you can do to make it better. Im going thru almost the same thing. Dont make her feel like she is trapped and that she cant get out of the marriage. Honesty is the best policy and make sure she knows that.
2007-09-26 09:09:42
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answer #11
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answered by Lexis 2
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