okay so I was at my friends house and I was drinking and didn't want to drive and my friend's girlfriend wanted some cigarettes so I offered to buy her, my friend and me a pack of cigarettes if she'd drive to the nearby store (very generous offer)
well I didn't have cash so I said "you can use my debit card but only get those 3 packs okay?" and she had seen me use it before and I'm guessing she watched me type my pin # because she went to an ATM and got out $20 and THEN went to the store and spent like $16.. then gave me my card back and I didn't find out untill I checked my account yesterday.
I'm thinking she thought I wouldn't notice since I have about 8k in that account.
she doesn't have a job so I already loaned her $200 before.. now I'm kinda mad and I want my money back but if I confront her she'll avoid me and never pay me back...
I just want my money back and I really don't trust being around her anymore. any advice??
2007-09-26 08:19:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
You just need to be upfront with her and tell her you want your money back. Screw being nice. She obviously didn't care about you while she was helping her self to your money so just go up to her and let her have it. If she avoids you, keep bugging her. She can't hide forever.
2007-09-26 08:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by stephensbaby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, be sure that you didn't get the money out yourself. I have gotten late ATM posts that I get out one night, but don't post until the next day. Be sure that you are 100% clear on your facts before you go making waves...
When you are 100% sure that it wasn't you, and she was the only other one with your card, mention the charge to your friend. Tell him if he doesn't confront her about it, then you will. Now don't get me wrong here, if you want to have a relationship with your friend, do not confront her, even if he refuses to ask her about it. You will lose the $20, and your friend. Women ALWAYS win in this situation, so until he and the girlfriend break up, you are not going to see that guy.
Even if she did it, I am sure that she won't fess up, because it would have taken some serious pre-planning to scam your pin # and figure out a way to get your card.
That being said, I guess the easiest thing to do is mention it as a hypothetical to your friend, see if he will ask her about it, whether or not he does, I think you will have to just drop it. it's $36 out of your life, and now you know to be a little less trusting with friends' girlfriends.
Bottom line: It sucks, but you aren't going to get that money back. It's up to you whether you lose a friend over $36 or not. I've lost friends over less, but you have to make that decision.
2007-09-26 08:36:08 · answer #2 · answered by soccrian 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She's no friend to you and the quicker you dump her the better. Next time she calls you I'd say something like, "Sorry, the Bank of [your name] is not able to finance further trips/gifts" and then hang up. Friendship is like any relationship, a bit of give and take. You say she's not working and yet she went to America - how?? It's irrelevant whether she ever buys you something in return, it's the fact she assumes she can take, take and take some more and talk to you in that tone. Get rid - quick smart!
2016-04-06 02:21:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd like to reiterate what someone else said- CHANGE YOUR PIN.
after that, i'd guess that your money is gone. you could probably try talking to her or to your friend about it, and if you do, make sure you don't sound accusational. don't say things like, "You took my money." make it sound like youre not mad or anything, just that you're wondering what happened to it, and maybe she'll feel more comforable telling you that she did it in the first place, and you can go on from there. don't get angry, just tell her that it's important that you get it back, and maybe you will. but i wouldn't bet on it. unless you're willing to really go after this- i bet there are legal steps you could take, but they'd obviously negatively impact your friendship- i'd say that money is gone.
i hate to tell people not to be trusting, because it's refreshing to be trusted. people are too suspicious sometimes. but i think that, if this is the kind of thing that your friends are going to do, you need to keep a closer eye on your friends.
2007-09-26 08:33:02 · answer #4 · answered by K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her straight up. Ask her if she got cash out instead of using the card. Either way you gave her permission to use your card. And 3 packs of cig would be close to $16 so I dont think she stole the money from you. Its not like she took out hundreds and didnt come back with your card. Just find out if that was the case...
2007-09-26 08:27:51 · answer #5 · answered by Volsfan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
#1: NEVER give your PIN to ANYONE...this includes a spouse, friend, lover, sibling, parent, or child.
#2: Your options are limited, since you *gave* her your bank card. If you can somehow prove that she had planned to take the cash prior to buying the smokes, you can press charges.
#3: Change your PIN TODAY!!!
#4: NEVER give your PIN to ANYONE...this includes a spouse, friend, lover, sibling, parent, or child.
#5: Talk to a lawyer about your legal options...not that you really have many.
#6: NEVER give your PIN to ANYONE...this includes a spouse, friend, lover, sibling, parent, or child.
#7: Let your friend know that his chick dipped into your acount for $20 before buying the smokes, and let him know that when she's around, you won't be, as she's a sneak theif and you don't trust her. (Have your bank statement handy to show him if need be).
#8: NEVER give your PIN to ANYONE...this includes a spouse, friend, lover, sibling, parent, or child.
#9: If she hasn't paid the $200 back, inquire about when you can expect her to do so, and introduce the idea that she can chip-in an extra $20 or so as an interest penalty.
#10: NEVER give your PIN to ANYONE...this includes a spouse, friend, lover, sibling, parent, or child.
2007-09-26 08:36:31 · answer #6 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From a Grandmother....Kick them both to the curb and forget them.
You will never get you money back unless you have the loan in writing. The other charges cannot be proved. Good luck and find a new friend.
2007-09-26 08:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Mel 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Confront her and if she doesn't pay you don't have anything to do with her anymore. Consider the $36 an investment in learning how not to be a drunken, lazy guy who stupidly gives his debit card to someone he already knows he can't trust.
2007-09-26 08:23:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'd kiss the money goodbye and change your PIN number.
2007-09-26 08:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by Sean 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask her for the money and if you don't get it consider it a cheap lesson about life.
2007-09-26 08:22:25 · answer #10 · answered by makrothumeo2 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋