To make my story short husband of 13 y cheated on me 2 y ago, i have never been over it but stayed for my 3 children.I got a job overnight and believe me it's my safe haven because i get to leave the house and have my mind on something else.I have made many friends witch i did not have at all b4,and one day someone told him i speak with guy co-workers and flipped.We had an argument that turned violent and he went to jail for a month but still is on trial on top of that he lost his job.He lives with his sister now . He calls me almost every other day 3 or more times a day asking for forgiveness and that he does not want to loose his family.He has lost weight ,does not sleep and is constanly seeking a way to see me.I remind him every time of what he did to me and my sleepless nights also, that killed every deep emotion i had for him.He cries constantly and begs for my forgivness but i have set my foot down.I care for him but love is not in me anymore.
2007-09-26 07:51:03 · 23 answers · asked by flaca 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Congratulations on taking action against his abusive behaviour. Stick to your guns.
I do believe in second chances, but never believe a man who says he will change, believe a man who already HAS changed and has a lot to show for it.
Good luck. And power to ya, girl.
2007-09-26 08:09:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was physically abusive and you want to feel sorry for him?
He is using every trick in the book to get you back there so he can try to control you and I guarantee you, he will do this again. This is NOT what you want your children to see.
You have to take a stand and let them know that physcial abuse won't be tolerated. When they are old enough, they also need to know that adultery isn't something that can be tolerated in a marriage, either. Unfortunately, you are the one who will have to set the example for your children as to what is right and wrong in a marriage/relationship.
I am afraid he sounds very much like a stalker, with all the phone calls and trying to see you. I would talk with a lawyer STAT to file with the court so that he is limited in his access to the children, if he is to have any - keep it legal - and possibly a restraining order so he has to stay away.
2007-09-26 08:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by Mama's on the half tip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good advice, do not go back with him just because u feel sorry.... u will never be happy that way and u will not make him happy either. Never sacrifice ur happiness for someone else's in a relationship.... and dont do it cuz of ur children either; they wil understand someday if u decide to tell them the truth and u will be a great mom for them. If love is not there anymore and u obviously know it, then just let time heal his wound and u move on with ur children. He realized that he loved what he had, but he did it too late; there is not going back to that now. Live ur life and be happy; find a man that truly deserves ur heart and love... good luck!
2007-09-26 08:06:32 · answer #3 · answered by PuNkRoSe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns! He is experiencing what you call "THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS" he should of thought about that before leaving you alone sleepless nights and hurt. A person can only take so much. You have been given a second chance with the job, friendships and life. If you care that is normal but to love him you're not obligated. He needs real help; counseling. Its his problem; not yours. Keep going; he committed adultery and you are not bound to this marriage!
2007-09-26 08:00:08 · answer #4 · answered by Wonder Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already know the answer. Don't go back. Last time he beat you. Next time it could be your kids. You never know what can happen in such a situation. You've done the right thing by getting out of the relationship.
You should probably just cut all contact with him for the time being. This would be better for you and perhaps better for him in the long run.
2007-09-26 07:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whether you love him or not is not important in this situation. His actions have proved that he does not even love himself, let alone you or the children. Sometimes people like him need to sort themselves out. And maybe he never will. Maybe he will always be the same. And maybe not. But your main concern should be your children. This is no environment for them. Remember this: a happy woman makes a great mother! And if you are happy, you will also find a better man who loves you.
2007-09-26 08:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by contessa75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE, don't look back. He cheated, went to jail... Why would you want to have that in your life? Let him be in your children's life as he is their father, but find yourself a good man that will treat you with the respect you deserve.
Feeling sorry for someone is not a good enough reason to get back together. How long is that going to last? Then he is going to fall back on his old patterns.
2007-09-26 08:01:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go back because you feel sorry for him. 1. He cheated and he doesn't want you speaking to male coworkers. 2. He beat you. Trust me they are always sorry the next day or when they get out of jail but they do it again. Be strong for your children and move on with your life
2007-09-26 08:02:22 · answer #8 · answered by Girly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say stick to your guns. sounds like a man i was with several years ago. we broke up, i felt sorry for him, even tho he hit me in the past, i took him back. the violence got worse. to put it plain and simple, i now do not like doors slamming behind me, i hate basements, and i wear a top denture. it will only get worse if you take him back. he will know all he has to do is cry, lose a few pounds, and lose a couple nights sleep. he will blame that on you the next time he loses his temper, if you are near stairs, he might shove you down them. if you are in a car, he might shove you out of the car.neither one is a joy to experience. dont answer his calls, dont talk to him,. when he realizes you are not taking him back, he will leave you alone.
2007-09-26 08:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by della 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns, because he can say sorry til he is blue in the face, but it doesn't mean he won't do it again. Next time worse. You are very strong for leaving and you need to stay strong for your children. If you stay you will have no respect for yourself, nor will your children. Good Luck!
2007-09-26 07:57:13 · answer #10 · answered by kei 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋