I have been married what will be 5 yrs soon and I am 25 yrs old going on 26 ; my husband is 35 yrs old.I have a daughter who is 5 yrs old from a previous relationship and a son who will be turning 2 yrs old(not my hubbys).My hubby cheated we seperated 5-6 months and i cheated in retaliation 2 weeks later I got back together with my husband unaware i was pregnant with my son.I informed my hubby that we might need a paternity test but when the doctor placed conception in time line we had gotten back together hubby said dna test was not needed.When my son was 1.5 we had a medical emergency a dna test was done it turned out my hubby was not the dad.My hubby got extremley harsh since then spanking the kids over small things and being very controling with me.I told him last night that we needed to talk today over dinner and this morning i left for 4 hrs to babysit for a friend.To come home to a almost vacant and vandalized house and no clothing?Police came said all i could do is file report?
2007-09-26 07:44:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He broke the glass of three of the upstairs windows,not only was my clothing/shoes taken so was my kids.food was taken out from the fridge/pantry and thrown all over the house.If not for the divorce papers on the table i would have though we were robbed?
2007-09-26 07:50:10 · update #1
My daughter was at school and my son was with me at the time .P.S they share the same dad.
2007-09-26 07:57:14 · update #2
OH MY GOSH- thats terrible! i hate that you're in such a situation.
the legal system is so crappy.. you need to talk to an attorney, not to people on here.. they dont know how your state's laws work. anyway, like i said.. speak to someone who knows the law and i'd get someone to stay at the house with me a few days.
thats so stupid.. like a husband can also not be charged w/ raping his own wife.. pshhh.. whatever!!
2007-09-26 07:49:10 · answer #1 · answered by *DiZzLe* 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Psycho freak!!! Not you, him. File a restraining order and take the kids and stay with a friend or family for the time being. And for all of you saying whore, Hello, both children have the same father, the husband knew the possibility of the second child not being his and they were not together at the time. Just try to get this over with as quickly as possible and be thankful the children are not his, because as you mentioned he has been becoming more violent toward them and you will have less of a mess to deal with hopefully. Good Luck!!!
2007-09-26 08:10:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your time trying to pursue legal action against him. Concentrate your full efforts on rebuilding your life. If the divorce papers are reasonable, sign them. If you're keeping the house, clean it as soon as possible so the children aren't subjected to this violation of their peace of mind for too long. Replace the clothing and restock your home with food and other essentials. Use public services to do this, if necessary. Just get your life back to normal as soon as you can. If you're concerned that he might come back and do something to your house again, by all means, get a restraining order. You might need documentation to do that, so take pics before you fix anything. It really helps to have a plan and make sure your energies are focused in a positive direction. Good luck.
2007-09-26 08:01:55 · answer #3 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do, but taking your clothes was ridiculous, he's retaliating over his own anger, I understand it, but it's his disappointment getting him, what he did was stupid, as far as the clothes....you better talk to an attorney about that, but the other stuff, it's his too so there's nothing t be done about that, if you get a divorce, it'll be pretty funny when the 50/50 split is gonna financially come out of his pocket since he'll need to reimburse 50% of the value of the stuff aquired during the marriage back to you.
2007-09-26 14:51:52 · answer #4 · answered by Dolly J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope he left the children with you. If he left you divorce papers, hopefully this is final and you won't have much to do with him anymore. You are getting rid of a dangerous man, believe me. He has violence issues, and if this is his way of retaliating, then count your blessings and start over again. If you try any legal action against him, things could turn really nasty. It doesn't matter who made the last move, what matters is you give a good environment to your kids.
Pray this is his last rant, and move on. get legal action only if he's back. But for now, you are getting rid of scum, and you are very lucky about it.
2007-09-26 07:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Lord! You need some counseling. So, sounds like you just screw around with anything that will look at you.
You not only needed a paternity test, You need a test for STD's especially HIV and all the other diseases out there.
You need to go your seperate ways. I would not want to support a hole with 2 kids by 2 different men.
Sounds like your "hubby" has gotten smart and flew the coup.
2007-09-26 07:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hopefully you did file the report, and in the mean time contact legal counsel and find out what your options are there. I wouldn't think it would be legal for your husband to vandalize the home you shared and abscond with all the belongings, but it may depend on the laws of your state.
I hope this gets resolved fairly and soon dear...you've each made mistakes but nobody should be punished indefinitely for them.
2007-09-26 07:49:12 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As horrible as it is...since you are still married, everything in your home belongs to each of you jointly, so he is in his legal right to rid of any items in the house that he deems fit. The same goes for you. Even though he has "vandalized" the home, it is his home too, therefore he has the "right" too. The only time that this doesn't apply is if you were home and vandalism is a result of domestic violence. Basically, you would need to divorce and sue for your half of the possessions.
2007-09-26 07:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Police do not have many options in cases of domestic disputes, unfortunately. I have learned this over and over again through friends and family who have gone through similar experiences.
Where are your children? If they are with you, be thankful for that. Now, go see a lawyer and file for a legal separation on the grounds of abandonment and assert your right. Make sure you get legal custody of the kids.
2007-09-26 07:50:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Outside of breaking and entering his own home removing the food and everything else is perfectly legal. He doesn't HAVE to spend HIS hard earned money on supporting the children born out of his wife's infedelity. If you want your children supported I suggest YOU go to their father for support rather than expecting the man you are married to to fork over money.
2007-09-26 14:27:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋