Help! How to change me?

Question

How do I change from being such a negative person to a positive person, from a very defensive person to a not so defensive person? Respecting other people? how to change a way of thinking

Answer 1

Bottom line, love thy self.

Being defensive comes from a deep belief that you are not good enough. When we are confident about who we are we do not have a desire to be defensive. We simply meet any comment with a more healthy thought process.

If your FILTER is tainted with "I dont like myself" then ANY experience you have is SEEN in that light.

To create a FILTER that is "I LIKE MYSELF" then use that as an affirmation daily. (100 times a day preferably) Also, list things that YOU DO like about yourself and focus on what is GOOD about you. It may be hard work at first, but you will soon have established a HABBIT of THINKING in a POSITIVE way about YOURSELF.

Once you have created your I like myself filter, then you will find it a much easier task to see EVERYTHING in a positive light. FOCUS on all the positive things about the world.

This doesnt make the negatives magically DISAPPEAR it simply means that you are no longer giving these POWER in your life.

Dwelling on negative thoughts is BOUND to create more negative experiences to ADD to your list. Happily, the reverse is also true. Focus on GOOD THINGS and you create more of the same.

Your brian is lazy, it likes to use the HIGHWAYS you have created for it to travel on. If you dont like the view, CHANGE THE HIGHWAYS to ones that YOU DO LIKE. At first it can be hard work, but it gets easier every day until it becomes second nature to you.

Answer 2

First find out the cause of the negativity and mistrust, you have made a step in the right direction by admitting to these problems. Look into yourself to find creativity as an outlet for releasing these negative aspects of your personality. Seek a clinical therapist who will be able to professinally guide you in the right direction. If you have the means move to a diffrent city with many cultures. Seek to understand people instead of juding them.

Answer 3

There are a lot of people who use self-talk to handle what is going on inside their minds. When self-talk is not monitored cautiously it can lead to drastic effects not only on one’s personality but also affects its mentality and psychology. Self-talk is a type of conversation which we conduct with ourselves. In literature we call it soliloquy. Brain’s reticular activating system never forgets what we repeat again and again. Ironically this system can not recognize what is beneficial to the individual and what is not. Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right- a saying goes like this. Therefore when ever we ‘talk’ with ourselves, we should be cautious, very cautious in fact. There are a lot of audio programs which can help and there are a lot of online books. If I recall there is a book ‘self-talk solutions’ which is every effective in this scenario.

Answer 4

baby steps, baby steps, baby steps
You just took one here by stating your problem.

Observe other people, people that are likeable and personable and positive as you would like to. See how they handle different situations and take all that in. Observing other people is a great learning tool and you can later use that in your own life.

Good luck!!

Answer 5

A good way to start is to write a gratitude list everyday, of at least ten things you are grateful for having in your life. Also, if you help others less fortunate than yourself, you will see how well off you really are. Plus, there are lots of books to read,that can help you.

Answer 6

You already seem like you want to, every time you have a negative thought, try to turn it around right then. Being aware that you are negative is a good start...good luck!

Answer 7

you have already started! just keep trying!