I know someone who just had a baby, weeks old. He is taking care of things financially, and he's there for the mother, but he does not want to be with her. They realized this during the pregnancy. Now he really wants to bond with his daughter, but because he does not want to be with the mother, the family is making that very difficult, and the mother isn't really doing anything about it, except trying to get back with him. He is very frustrated because he actually WANTS to be there, unlike other fathers the world complains about. His friends are saying don't worry, when the daughter gets older she'll decide for herself, but he doesn't want to give up all this time. He actually wants be there, and help take care of her. Has he really given up the right to be there with his baby just because he doesn't want to be with the mother? Shouldn't the baby take precedence over what's going with them? They are very civil with each other by the way. She just wants to be back with him, & he doesnt.
2007-09-26 06:33:40 · 19 answers · asked by Camille J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, that is absolutely incorrect unless the father agrees to someone adopting the child. Both parents are essential to the child throughout his or her life and legally responsible for the care and maintenance of the child, usually until he/she is 18. To me, it seems like the mom is manipulating him by withholding/limiting his time with the child. This is wrong. He should insist that he and the mom come up with some sort of reasonable, fair schedule so he can be a father to his child. Otherwise, he should tell her that she will be hearing from his attorney about making a schedule. There are attorneys who specialize in collaborative divorce. I know this isn't a divorce, I think they would help in a situation like this if things can't worked out fairly by the mom and dad.
2007-09-26 06:50:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's great that he wants to be there for his child and I respect that.
However....based on the situation, I wonder if you might discuss with this couple the option of considering adoption. Every child needs a STABLE, loving mom and dad and while he loves this baby, giving her that chance in life would be the greatest thing he could do for her.
Otherwise, this kid is going to be in a ping-pong game....you say the "family is making [bonding] very difficult" and that the child's mother "isn't really doing anything about it" which tells me that SHE isn't acting in her child's best interests.
NO, he does not give up the right to be with his child...he should DEFINITELY go to court and get the visitation rights in writing from the court so he cannot be denied. I assume that these two are very young....and it's sad. The child will be the one to suffer.
P.S. To some of the other respondents::::: CHILD SUPPORT and VISITATION are NOT the same thing....one does NOT guarantee the other. A dad has a right to see his child even if he isn't paying, which is a shame, but again, it's about what's best for the child, not what's fair financially.
2007-09-26 06:42:34 · answer #2 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is on the birth certificate as the father then he has full rights. If not then he's screwed until he gets a paternity test. Once that is done he can file with the courts. They will assess child support and outline visitations. He can ask for joint physical custody and may have a good chance of receiving it. He can always talk to the mother and ask her cooperate and give this stuff to him without the need for the courts to get involved.
2007-09-26 06:45:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is the biological father he has just as much right to the baby as the mother. It is not up the the Family, heck it isn't really their business!! This is between the mother and father of the child. The only way to settle things is in court, there needs to be some kind of legal documentation.
2007-09-26 06:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Behavin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, that does not give up his rights to the child.
He should probably get an attorney ASAP just to get all of this in writing so the mother doesn't try to go back and forth on letting him see the child and NOT allowing it.
My husband and his ex split up basically when she first found out she was pregnant, and she has put him through HELL because he moved on...and she hasn't.
All she is going to do is hurt that baby with all of her childish acts.
I hope things work out for the best for him. And I'm glad he's putting up a fight for his youngster!!
2007-09-26 06:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by jezyka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, a father does NOT give up parental rights to a chld just because he doesn't want to be with the mother. In order for him to give up parental rights there has to be a court order that he has signed and in most states he wouldn't have to pay child support either. He has the right to see his child but he is going to have to get a lawyer and take the mother to court.
2007-09-26 14:55:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to go to an attorney NOW, my sister is one and the father (unmarried) usually gets the shaft, he if he can't afford one, go to his states bar association and find out about legal aid, he can have a visitation schedule/order drawn, then he'll be able to be w/his child w/out the mother panting over his shoulder. If he wasn't listed on the birth certificate, she can list whoever she wants and it would be up to him to prove his paternity. And make sure he has proof of his financial support.
2007-09-26 15:03:23 · answer #7 · answered by Dolly J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A parent doesn't give up the right to a child unless he/she signs a a specific paper saying so or the court removes it. If necessary he may have to go to court to make it official so the family will back off.
2007-09-26 07:10:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs a lawyer and he needs to establish visitation rights. He may have to swallow a little pride and spend some time with the baby while the mother is there. It may not be easy on him and he can stick to his guns about not wanting to be with her, but at least he would be able to bond with the baby.
2007-09-26 07:24:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has every right to see his child. Since he is having such difficulty getting cooperation from the family (and mother), he will need to file a custody complaint with the courts. Find a family law attorney.
2007-09-26 06:41:10 · answer #10 · answered by legalchick791 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋