My husband and I are expecting our first child and since I have been pregnant he won't have sex with me, I feel that he does not notice me anymore, and I feel that he may be cheating, and do not know how to talk to him about the situation? Please help!!!!
2007-09-26 06:30:13 · 42 answers · asked by Becca 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Chill out, it's your hormones freaking you out. Instead of waiting for him to initiate, why don't you initiate sex? Instead of nagging or being all consumed in being pregnant (I don't know if you do this, I'm just saying this in case you do), give HIM attention. Since he is your husband, you should be open and have good communication with him. Tell him how you're feeling and explain that though it's probably just your hormones talking, that you are worried for your relationship.
Basically, get off the computer. Stop talking to us and start talking to him.
Good luck.
2007-09-26 06:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't jump to conclusions. There could be many reasons why the two of you are not having sex. He may be concerned that having sex will harm the baby. He may be worried about becoming a father. Maybe he doesn't think that you are in the mood because you may complain about being tired or not feeling well. He is just getting use to the fact that you are no longer only his wife but now you are going to be a mother. I think women sometimes forget that men go through changes during pregnancy as well. Just sit him down and have a honest conversation. You two are married and should be able to talk about these things. Unless you have a risky pregnancy explain to him that sex during pregnancy is healthy not only for the baby but for you as a couple. Once the baby gets here your marraige will change. It is best to feel connected and understanding of each other before the baby comes. You will need that bond. Let him know that you want to have sex. Then see what he says. Chances are he will say that he didn't think you were in the mood or that he is weirded out by the whole pregnancy thing.
I wouldn't automatically think he was cheating unless you have had trust issues in the past. You should know what kind of person your husband is. Remember that your emotions and hormones are running wild during and after pregnancy. So use common sense. I would suggest telling to a close friend who might know both of you real well. They might be able to help you find out what the problem is.
Good luck in your marriage and pregnancy.
2007-09-26 06:45:44 · answer #2 · answered by Junebaby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The sexual relationship between husband and wife can be a challenging subject for one mate to bring up to the other, but the reality is that when something is really wrong it needs to be discussed.
Before you jump to the conclusion that your husband is cheating on you there are other possible explanations. Maybe he thinks that having sex while you are pregnant could endanger the baby. You and I know that is not the case, but maybe he doesn't know this.
Try to find an opportunity to discuss it with him in a calm, nonconfrontational way. Try not to make it simply sound like a complaint or an accusation. Tell him that you love him and you are worried about your marriage. If he tells you that not having sex is OK with him, explain to him that it is not OK with you.
Only you know what your sex life with him was like before you got pregnant. If it was very active and now there is nothing, there must be some explanation. Don't let him just brush your concerns off. If your sex life before pregnancy wasn't much anyway, there must still be a reason for complete abstinence, but the explanation may be a little more simple.
Whatever the case, you have to talk about it.
2007-09-26 06:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by nevit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Set him down and talk to him. Ask him what about you is turning him and let him know that there are safe ways to have sex even when you're pregnant and that the only thing that has changed is that you are carrying his child, but you still desire him and love him and you want the passion to come back to your marriage.
Ask him what are the things he thinks will happen if you two have sex and put all of his worries to rest so that he doesn't think that he is hurting you or the baby - let him know that there are other positions besides missionary that you and he can try so that he is not on top of you and feeling uncomfortable.
Ask him straight out if he is cheating on you because you feel like if he is not getting it from you he is getting it from somewhere and talk don't yell, get emotional or angry tell him that you just want understanding and answers.
2007-09-26 06:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by justaboutpeace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a fairly common problem, especially if this is your first child with him. He is used to seeing you as his wife and lover, but now he looks at you as the mother of his child. And, no man wants to have sex with a "mother-figure." Also, as he may be unfamiliar with pregnancy as a condition, he may be worried that you are frail or that he might hurt you or the child by having sex with you.
Take the initiative. Prepare a romantic, candlelit dinner. Then you take charge. Let him know what you want, and let him know that you won't break all that easy. Let him know it's ok to think of you as a woman even if you are pregnant, and let him know that you still desire sex with him and could really use a good hard ride. Above all, make him feel comfortable, so that he can talk about his concerns and fears, and reassure him that sex is still ok and won't harm you or the baby.
2007-09-26 06:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's unfortunate. But look at it this way. The two of you are in a RELATIONSHIP; even more, you guys are in a marriage, a partnership between two people who love each other. People who are in a relationship communicate and interact with each other; that's the point of a relationship. So do yourself and your husband a favor and just be open with each other. Why not ask him if he wants to have sex with you, or why he won't have sex with you, which is causing you to feel unwanted? He is your Husband. Then maybe he'll do you a favor and be open to you as well. But if you hide what you feel from your husband, you have no reason to complain and I can have no sympathy until then. Good luck and God bless.
2007-09-26 06:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by wizball 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This possibility hurts, but he may not be attracted to the pregnant look. Also, a lot of men have concerns about hurting the baby or they just plain thinks it's weird that there's someone in there. Those thoughts would certainly interfere with arousal. You didn't mention why you feel he may be cheating. If its just because he's not having sex with you, please stop worrying. It's probably a male issue with pregnancy. Talk to him! Good luck
2007-09-26 06:46:23 · answer #7 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need to worry. ALOT of men feel funny about sex when their wife is pregnant. It has nothing to do with how he looks at or thinks of you. They feel like they are going to hurt the baby or something. My ex-husband did the same thing, and my brother, and my cousin. They almost feel like they're doing something wrong. It's frustrating for you, I know, because most pregnant women are actually more...ahem...amorous during this time. Try talking to him in a more soothing way as opposed to an accusing one. Hopefully you will get him to come around. Hope you're pregnancy is a safe and happy one.
2007-09-26 06:40:41 · answer #8 · answered by Camille J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Ask him!"
if this is your first child,then sometimes a man will think he will hurt the child during sex. There are other position you can do,instead of you being on "The Bottom". (Don't think he's cheating!.---You don't want to start thinking those thoughts). If him thinking he'll hurt the baby,(AND HE WON'T. Sex is good for your delivery), then take him to your next office visit,and let the Dr. explain to him,about having sex while pregnant.
(Good Luck!)
2007-09-26 06:48:25 · answer #9 · answered by Squeakers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some men are afraid of hurting the baby. You think that he is cheating? You had better find out if he is or not. Just ask him why he won't have sex with you and see what he says. You can't talk about sex with your husband?
2007-09-26 06:35:18 · answer #10 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋