Are married people really happy?

Question

It seems as though just about everyone in their early 20's plans to get married eventually. But the divorce rate is 50 percent. And once a couple starts a family, then it's constant stress and responsibility. I'm 26 and I'm not planning to ever get married or have kids and I'm happy about that. I love the idea of being free and spending my free time relaxing at home or traveling abroad, rather than changing pooped diapers and helping with homework.

So, are people really as happy once they get married as they thought they would be or do many feel trapped and wish they were still single with no kids?

Answer 1

You should be a happy content person with yourself first because marriage can't make you happy it can only complete the happiness. And when you are with someone who truly loves and cares for you as you feel for them, having kids makes life even better. When you know you are bringing up responsible individuals, you know you are making the world a better place. Lots of people are irresponsible and make bad choices, and when kids are brought up into that, it makes things worse. Do what you feel is best and don't make a decision based on what is out there in the world today.

Answer 2

I think it can go both ways. A single person w/ no kids can be happy but at times may look at a couple that looks happy together and look fun to be around - with kids, and then it can be a person in a relationship can view a person that has a single life and wish they can travel back in time.

I think it depends on the individual. You obviously made your mind up and that's great. But I was also single and sometimes I felt miserable because I wanted that other somebody that I can relate to, tell everything to, share experiences with, shares stories, have good times/memories with, and to have a family. Unfortunately, my son came early on, (I'm 22) and if I would have played it the smart way, I would have waited till I was a bit older. But there is a contradictions with this as well. Some people see young adults and question what the hell they are thinking raising kids when their kids, but people that are their 40's and say are single and have no kids Wished they would have done it early because by this age, their kid could have been 1/2 way through college already.

I say, live with what you have and good things will come your way. Whether you expect it or not, everything happens for a reason. Good luck.

Answer 3

Selfish people like yourself, should not be married NEVER, so it's good that you made that choice. Being married or single can be an unhappy situation. If you ever plan on at least being with someone, or maybe falling in love even without kids you will still feel the stress of marriage without the paperwork. However, if you are a loner and never plan on becoming serious with anybody and truly want to have flings for the rest of your life then you will never feel that way!

Answer 4

More and more are being forthright into admitting marriage is not for them and so be it. It is very hard to keep a good marriage, esp. this day and age when everyone has a career and so much of a separate life from their spouse. And no, I think the majority really aren't that happy after, as they say, "the honeymoon is over". It takes a lot of dedication and open communication which not many possess nowadays outside of their work. Be happy and enjoy! Maybe when you are older you may find having a partner to share in your more mature years will be more attractive. I think I don't want to be alone after like 60 years of age, but then again, I've been married 20 years!

Answer 5

"Til death do us part," is an archaic notion in marriage that only works for the majority of people in populations where the average life span is 35 or less. We all change over time. Two people may be completely compatible at 23, get married, have a wonderful relationship, and then find that, at 43, they are no longer suited to each other. This doesn't invalidate the twenty years of happiness they had before. It just means that they have changed, their needs have changed, and it may be time for them to respectfully move on to more suitable partners. Ending a marriage that is no longer bringing each person happiness and meaning to their lives is not a failure. It's just like everything else in this world: things change, and we must adapt.

However, more to the point of your question: many people are happy after they get married. Yet, many others are not. Our notions of marriage, relationship, and romance are so ridiculously extreme that the reality of marriage often comes as a hard shock to the system of those who have worn the rose-coloured glasses too long. Marriage, like relationship, requires commitment, patience, and work in order to survive long periods of time that aren't particularly exciting, fun, romantic, or whatever.

As for kids, many married couples are opting to go child-free. After all, nothing brings more financial hardship and stress than introducing children into a relationship. Only animals are slaves to their biological imperatives. As rational thinking human beings, we have the choice to look at our lifestyles and to choose NOT to be slaves to reproduction, particularly when child-rearing is incompatible with our financial and relationship goals.

Answer 6

Your idea of happiness is a little wharped. To put things into perspective, marriage is a lot of work, especially when you have kids. Sometimes it is 50/50 and sometimes it is lopsided with 50/100. It is a sense of commitment. Sometimes, there is joy, and sometimes, there isn't. I am sure it is the same with being single because I've been there. Marriage has its problems just like being single has its problems. If you are confortable not getting married, then so be it. I chose to get married because, a) I wanted a family b) I did not want to be alone c) I wanted someone to pick me up when I am down d) I wanted to share life with someone and travel with that someone and do things with that someone. Been married 16 years. My parents have been married 53 years.

Answer 7

My husband and I are very happy together. We never felt like we HAD to get married or that there was some sort of rush.

When we got married, I was 29 and he was 39. He had never been married and honestly wasn't planning on it. He was not going to get married JUST to get married. I was the same way. When we met, we just knew that it was right and that's why we decided to get married- because we wanted to share our lives and experiences together. We still get to spend free time relaxing and travel often. We are actually getting ready to move abroad for the next three years for my husband's job, so we are looking forward to all we will get to experience while there. We'll probably do the kid thing eventually (*smile)- another experience for us to share.

I think sometimes people don't get married for the right reasons, or they rush into it. Don't think of it as something that you have to do. Just do it if you meet the right person and you both want to.

Answer 8

I'm much happier now than I ever was when I was single! Everybody is different though and maybe you wouldn't be happy. I'm the same age as you (26), have a great husband (also 26), who is my best friend, and a 15 month old son. I feel like my life has substance and that there are now people to share life with. When I was single I just felt like I was searching for something bigger....I found it!

Answer 9

Yes I am as happy as I thought I would be, but then again I didn't get married with illusions of granduer. Marriage is hard work, like any relationship you have to make it work and not throw in the towel, just because your unhappy for the moment.

And btw all parents (married and single) at some point (usually the colic stage or the sleepless 3am feeding stage) wish they we're all alone relaxing on an exotic beach or at least asleep.

Answer 10

Yes people are happy once they get married. Although divorce is an issue, there are those of us who are happy. Having kids is not the only reason you get married. Perhaps a marriage with someone of similar interest. Someone who want to travel abroad instead of having kids.

However, if you are not ready for marriage (as you seem to be) then don't get married. There is no reason you have to.