Do I give him the time I know he needs?

Question

we have been together close to a year. I just found out we are pregnant. he was sooo excited, then a month later starts giving me this "i love you too much, i am scared you will wake up one day and decide you dont want me so i have to leave first". The first time he just needed a few hours. Next time was overnight at a friends where he ran back swearing he will be with me forever. This time it has be 2 days and he is still thinking it thru, still telling me he still loves me but cant be with me because of his fear. Do i just accept this and raise his child alone? I am going back and forth on what i should do and it is making me physically sick.

Answer 1

Men don't go through the same hormonal changes as women do, but they do go through changes. Maybe you said something to him some time ago about you being able to raise a child on your own and didn't need his help. Maybe his dad ran out on his mom, maybe his mom left his dad. There sounds to me like there are a lot of issues going on besides just him being insecure.

He may also be feeling "trapped" or that you did this on purpose to "keep him." Men get scared easier than women think, and a baby scares most men. We haven't been around them much, especially when they are young, and we are afraid that we will some how hurt them.

Him leaving may have more to do with him feel scared and helpless than anything else. The best thing that you can do is to tell him that you love him. Tell him that he is going to make a great dad, tell him that you can't raise this baby by yourself, tell him that "a couple" is better raising a child then someone doing it alone. Make him feel important. Have be apart of this experience with you.

Women often start talking with their friends about all of the baby stuff and forget to talk to their significant other about it. Start by bring him in and looking at different things about the baby. Like how your body is going to change, names for the baby, different things that he can and should be a part of.

Don't listen to Valarie X - babies are not mistakes, they are a blessing from God. In everyone of her statements, you can tell that she is bitter about something, so just ignore people who judge you without knowing who you are or the circumstances around your pregnancy

Communication is important. Without it, your relationship with fail without doubt.

Good Luck

Answer 2

This guy is crazy. Is this really want you want to be around for the rest of your life? A man that runs out on you everytime there is a problem because he doesn't know how to deal?? This is not a man - a real man doesn't do this. You are going to get physically sick and that isn't fair. I fear for what kind of a life you and the baby will have with him. If I were you I would tell him to grow up and raise the baby alone. At least you won't be stressed out all of the time when this one is still trying to grow up and deal with life. Good luck honey - I am sure you will be a great mom.

Answer 3

"His" fear? You'd better plan on having this kid alone. This clown obviously is going to leave. What a line though. He leaves first because he can't bear the thought of you leaving first?
I'd question as to whether or not that was actually a man that went to bed with you or a child with a ridiculous comment like that.
He's a coward and has no guts. He certainally won't be able to raise a child, let alone do anything required of a man in a relationship...thats for sure. Let the little boy go. His mother must be calling for him.
You'd be wise to choose wisely next time and find someone whose responsible and not afraid of committing to his responsibilites instead of a man with a grade school mentaility.

Answer 4

Tell him this he has made up his mind the first time he left and it wasn't you who left. He will never be with you 100% he will run at the drop of the hat. You need to move on with your life and let him go his own way....You have to think about you and the baby and, he is not. He has already showed you the furture can you continue to live this way?

Answer 5

Sounds like he needs Prozac or something. Sometimes when men are involved in a pregnancy they get a little nutty...I have wondered if their hormones are affected also. He is obviously suffering or playing you. I don't know him, however if you think he is just going a little crazy right now, let him....be there and work it out. Sometimes it helps to detach and watch people like you are watching television.....hard as hell to do, but it works. Nuttiness is unfortunately a part of life, husbands go through nutty times just as wives do.....it is part of being married.

Answer 6

He is a boy and not a man.

Tell me, does he think you made this baby by yourself?

Where is your wedding ring? Oh thats right, he hasn't married you and you are carrying his child. He pays child support anyway, just in case you were wondering.

I feel sorry for you. This "man" is not ready for a baby- he isn't ready for anything, you made a HUGE mistake!

Answer 7

hes insecure of himself. pregnancy does this to alot of men, u have to let him know that everything will be ok....... make it to where he feels loved.

have a long conversation about this, a baby is too much responsibility for both of u, and u have to be sure that he will be there when u need him the most.

good luck!

congrats on ur baby!
♀♥♂

Answer 8

Couple's Therapy! You need to help him address the underlying issues that are leading to his insecurity or this will continue for as long as you allow it.

Answer 9

tell him he needs to make up his mind because you do not want to play these games!. You can raise a kid with or without him!

Answer 10

as the old saying goes.............Give them enough rope and they will hang them selves............I think he is near that point....Don't be stupid...If he loves you, he would be with you instead of his FRIENDS.........