Before you answer, first realize that I already know shes going through a lot, horomonal changes etc... and don't need advice about whats happening but what I'm thinking about is now that were here, what could possibly be used as an effective stategy to consistantly lower the aggression and often times depression associated with the pregnancy during the first trimester, comming from a males perspective, I couldn't begin to imagine exactally what she's feeling, but rather help her overcome this issue together, and find a way to dissolve the randomness in her moodswings, or to learn how to deal with it accordingly, whereas I believe that half the problem is how I approach the raging female during one of those times of fluctuating horomones, thanks.
2007-09-26 03:18:43 · 13 answers · asked by carlos j 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
sometimes you just have to smile and take it! Her mood should improve with the 2nd trimester....but watch out for late in the 3rd...some of us are completely miserable!
2007-09-26 03:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by J*Mo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first off realize that pregnant women do not pull things out of the air to get pissed off about, instead, where rationality would allow them to get through something annoying or troublesome, the hormones cause them to fly off the handle instead.
She doesnt have anything against you, shes just lost her rationality and patience. Whenever she does freak out about something ask yourself, whats the root issue? If you walked through the door and into the kitchen and suddenly she's calling you an insensitive bastard and how you should drop dead, calm down and think about how she probably was waiting all day feeling sorry for herself and wanting you to blow through the door and give her a hug and a kiss and tell her how amazing she is.
I dont agree that pregnant women should be allowed to give into all their many emotional whims, simply because real life goes on and its not an excuse. Its a reason, but its not an excuse. However, trying to convince her of that at this point would only cause you and her more stress than needed. Instead, buck up and realize that you're going to have to be the rational one for a while. Consider it practice for the toddler years, because thats what its like, the terrible twos.
Be liberal with your love and affection. Tell her how she's doing a great job being pregnant, it is work, and it is stressful, and just your aknowledgement can booster her moral. Do something little every day, even if its just bringing home a chocolate bar, or being willing to cook her some food.
Offer back rubs and foot rubs, and do yourself a favor and dont take any of it to heart.
You both made a baby because you loved eachother, nows the time when that love is proven.
2007-09-26 10:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oooh, thats funny. You're going to get a lot of answers along the lines of "give her a massage' etc., but really there isn't going to be any way to help her through the moodswings. Just don't take anything she says too personally (pregnancy still isn't an excuse for her to a raging maniac, though), and try to pick your battles. Instead of wondering when she's going to get around to doing the laundry, just throw a load in. Sometimes the first trimester is tough because of sickness - if she's feeling that way, you might try to remember which foods and smells trigger the nausea, and be sure not to cook or bring home those things. She'll appreciate that, I'm sure. And a big one for me was when my husband called on the way home to see if I needed him to bring home anything. I usually hate asking him to do things for me, but I made a few exceptions while pregnant.
Congrats on the baby, and good luck!
2007-09-26 10:29:07 · answer #3 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are there things that she needs your help with that you are not doing? Maybe she doesn't tell you what these things are? I would suggest doing more around the house. She is exhausted, I'm sure! Try washing the dishes and doing some laundry. Do a little extra..or everyday do something, even if small of what needs to be done around the house. I often get my mood swings when I am left with too much to do, which causes me to become tired and cranky, thus causing me to overreact. Draw a bath for her in the evening. Not every night of coarse, but at least once a week. Light some candles. When she gets out have a nice cold glass of water ready, her lotion, and a hair brush. In other words, just pamper her from time to time. This always works for me! Good luck on this one!
2007-09-26 11:24:58 · answer #4 · answered by Brooke S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as a mother of two children I can tell you there's really nothing either of you can do to overcome all together the mood swings and depression and just over all moody behavior women get while pregnant. Your right half the prob is how our spouses and bf's approach the situations when we're in a moody stage . Best advice I can give to a guy asking these questions is to just shut up and take it. Theres no point in arguing it out or even talking it out really unless she wants to . Arguing makes it worse as you already know and talking sometimes just pisses us off even more . Just let it pass. If she wants to avoid you let her. If she wants yell at you when you leave the toilet seat up or leave a cup on the table ( small things I know ) just let her get it out of her system. It's better that way. Just know soon as the baby is born unless she gets post partum depression she'll be back to her normal , less grouchy self in no time.
2007-09-26 10:53:24 · answer #5 · answered by adrianne M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put aside your own rights for a few weeks. If it really is her turn to do the dishes, and she says it is yours, do them anyway. Try not to talk about things that you know upset her. Ask her what you can do for her. If she says nothing, then leave her in peace. Don't demand sex if she is not interested.
Encourage her, but don't pester her, to eat well. Food does affect moods.
My husband has dealt very effectively with my PMS this way for 21 years. (I am easier to get along with when I am pregnant!). Deep down we know we are being unreasonable sometimes (sometimes it really is other people being jerks!), and when our loved one refuses to fight, it takes MUCH of the fight out of us.
Example: During PMS I sometimes dream my husband is cheating or otherwise hurting me, and I wake up REALLY pissed at him. I know it is stupid but it's how I feel. He will actually hug me and say "I am sorry that I hurt your feelings" or "I would NEVER cheat on you, you know". We then laugh because it is so silly that he is apolgizing for MY dreams! Then I am not mad anymore.
Thanks for trying to be a good partner and know she will get better after the first trimester, although she might not be back to "normal" until well after the baby comes.
2007-09-26 10:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by starrystarrynight 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell her she's beatilful because her body is changing so much and she is putting weight on so she is probably feeling self concious at the moment. make her breakfast of lunch or dinner a couple of nights a week because she is pobably really tired and not feeling very hot at the moment, try to do as much as you can not to annoy her, altho even if u try still there will be something that u will do that will annoy her lol, talk to her about how she is feeling, taking her special places and make her feel loved and wanted, give her hugs and kisses not all the time but regulary, and when she asks for u to do something do it!! maybe suggest pregnancy yoga and go and do it with her that not only is healthly for the body helps prepare the body for labour but also releves alot of stress, when you have a fight let her have the last word and just agree with her just tell her that its not worth fighing over and your sorry, that way she won't continue with it and u won't get a mouth full from her.
I'm 14 weeks at the moment with my second and i feel really sorry for my man sometimes i have alot of other stressful things going on aswell as depression so my mood swings are horrible so far he has coped really well but i know its hard for him....just the stupiest littlest things he does or says annoys me so much at times and usually i am hard to annoy and very down to earth and passaive!!
2007-09-26 10:32:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if it's possible to help her mood swings. Just try really hard to deal with it and not fight it. I'm only 6 weeks pregnant and I started crying right in the middle of Wal Mart yesterday. I couldn't control it. Just try to understand and she will think you're a saint. Try to do what you think she will want you to do, like pick up after yourself, cook her dinner once in a while, offer to rub her back...She probably feels like she's doing all the suffering and you're sitting pretty. I know I will get set off just by little things like my husband not putting his shoes away.
2007-09-26 10:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by dani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is something that you need to talk with her Dr about. If her hormones are fluctuating that much, the Dr needs to do some blood test and perhaps give some medications. Also, maybe look for a pregnancy group for her and or for couples. This helps give her a place to feel like she is not alone and give you some support from guys going thru the same thing
2007-09-26 10:25:08 · answer #9 · answered by Done 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I like the support group idea. I don't know of anything you can really do past that, other than to just stay out of her way when she goes on the rampage. God, I hope I'm not that bad when I get pregnant.
2007-09-26 10:27:31 · answer #10 · answered by misshiccups 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋