to keep a marriage alive? or a relationship for that matter
its always made me wonder because we talk about 'working' at marriage... yet if you think about ur closest friend that relationship is easy. and since you should marry your best friend... shouldnt it be easy?
now dont get me wrong i know its not easy to always get on with each other... but isnt there an element of somehting that just works? somehting that you mearly have to tinker withh everynow and then not the sort of major overhaul people seem to hint at?
what do you all think?
2007-09-26 03:12:00 · 13 answers · asked by LBB 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yeah i agree, it shouldn't be hard work at all, everyone has their off days, and sometimes you need to nudge things in the right direction, but on the whole since your partner should in theory be your best mate it should be easy and fun, not hard work.
2007-09-26 03:18:07 · answer #1 · answered by Missfit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keeping a marriage alive is not as easy as it sounds. Most people seem to think that once they have married that is it. Yes you do need to work at it. It takes a lot of give and take from both sides. Understanding each other, not taking one another for granted. Not trying to change the person you fell in love with into something else. After all isn't that why you loved them in the first place. Some people try to change their partners for all sorts of reasons. Why! I have no idea, then they do not like the monster that they have created.
Marriage does need to be worked at for one simple reason we all change. We each evolve as time goes on. We are never the same as we were at 16 when we are 26 and so on. So how can we expect our partner to be. You have to notice these subtle changes and move with them. Sometimes that is why marraiges split up. You here people say "he/she is not the same person I married". Of course they are not and neither are you.
2007-09-26 05:09:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeping a marriage alive is part of being married. It shouldn't be a sacrifice or a duty, but instead something that is done voluntarily. Being good friends with your husband definitely helps in making the relationship stronger, because not only are you partners in life and lovers, but you also share the friendship bond. When people "work" in their marriages, it just means to invest time, energy and feelings into this special relationship. We are constantly working on our marriage if we reinforce good communication skills and if we show commitment to our partners. If the people involved in the relationship are committed to each other then doing whatever it takes to keep the relationship alive is the thing to do. Best of luck!
2007-09-26 03:28:10 · answer #3 · answered by onlinetherapist.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't marry your best friend. You don't even have sex with your best friend. There is a whole other dimension to romantic relationships. Your best friend can have other friends. Your romantic partner is going to get the boot if he has other romantic partners, so cut the crap and stop typing pure gibberish.
Your friend can be an emotional mess at some point, and you can lose some respect for them at those times, and it's no problem because you don't live and sleep with them.
As for this "work" claim. It's work if it doesn't come naturally. If you are not confident, assertive, affectionate, funny and positive or have self-control issues, then it's going to be work. If you are not a giving person, then it's going to be a lot of work for your partner.
Think for goodness' sake.
2007-09-26 03:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Using your analogy of "your closest friend", what do close friends do? They talk to each other about all their problems and all their joys, they share with each other, they support each other and they understand each other.
But also keep in mind that even friendships take work. Haven't there been times when your best friend needed help and you dropped everything to go be with her? Or times when a friend has scheduled an event that in order to go to you have to totally rearrange your schedule?
Now would you do the same for a spouse? Without nagging, complaining and acting put out--that is where the work comes in!
2007-09-26 03:31:03 · answer #5 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are so many if, and, ors, or buts in life. You continually grow in your life and these changes effect your spouse and vice versa. Just being around someone constantly year ofter year can have its own effects. So it does take work to make a relationship happy and strong, but it is truly a labor of love. My wife and I don't always get along, but we do always love each other. We have come to realize that any effort we put into our relationship is rewarded in an amount greater than the investment. Don't get me wrong, it is not perfect, but it is wonderful.
2007-09-26 04:53:49 · answer #6 · answered by j-dub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even best friends disagree sometimes...you do have to work at marriage as there will always be things that you disagree on over the years..you have to learn to live with each others annoying habits and sometimes do things you can be bothered doing just to make the other happy. It's well worth it though...the rewards are worth it !
2007-09-26 03:19:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the most part marriage has been easy for me cause I did marry my best friend. We tinker mostly so to speak....lol
2007-09-26 03:18:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are or at least should be right. I don't know why marriage is harder than friendships. When you find out, let me know!
I have had my two best friends for longer than my ex or current together!
2007-09-26 03:19:09 · answer #9 · answered by tlk0408 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be me and not lie even if that ment the marrage breaking down ....... trust , truth , and honesty without any of these you are dooomed to a lifeless dull and painfull marriage.
2007-09-26 06:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by El Diablo King Of Kings 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋