I know I'm wrong. Go ahead and let me have it. I don't know who the dad is and my husband says he'll leave me if it's not his. Should I just leave now?
2007-09-26 02:49:56 · 43 answers · asked by noname 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously you are not happy in your marriage. Yes, leave him and let him find someone that truly loves him. You can't stay with him just because of the baby (if its his) you will both be miserable. Your relationship will never be the same.
2007-09-26 03:10:30 · answer #1 · answered by momof2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many men were you with that you don't know who the Dad is? Or did you mean that it could be your husbands OR this one other man, but you're not sure which?
Do you have any other children with your husband? Why did you have the affair in the first place, what was lacking in your marriage? If there was not a pregnancy, do you think you and your husband could be happy together long term?
You have a long difficult journey ahead. Most people are going to know what you did and most will judge you.
Even if the baby is your husbands do you think he will be able to forgive you? Right now, you need to look out for the best interest of your baby. What will be the best environment for him or her to grow up in? Let that be the guiding force in your decision making.
2007-09-26 02:56:37 · answer #2 · answered by candy'sroom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. This would be a good time for you both to step back from this stressful situation and go to counseling, if your husband will go with you. This would be the "For Worse" you both agreed to stick together through during your wedding vows. Your husband has a right to feel betrayed, but there are ways through this. Marriages have survived infidelity before, and have become stronger because of it. I would suggest finding faith biased support for you two if your husband is open for counseling. If you have children together with your husband, that is a very good reason to try to work things out. If he is not the father, you can always give the baby up for adoption if you don't feel like you can keep the baby. Good luck and God bless.
2007-09-26 02:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by The Nag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this question is a tuff one...
I think that you and your husband need to seriously talk it over.What you need to do if it's not his child.Which is going to be the father figure and pay child support you'll need.Because even if you don't end up with either man this baby is going to need a father.That is the most important thing.
After the baby is born you can most likely get a DNA paternity test to determine the fatrher.
Far as the cheating goes you and your husband need to talk about forgivness.I'm not going to burn you,people make mistakes,but if someone cheated on me it'd be unexcussable.But if I was married I'd at least try and talk it out.That is all you can do.
Good Luck
2007-09-26 03:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really doesn't matter who the daddy is because it your's!!! It is gonna cause alot of problems in your marriage because you cheated an now are pregnant but they aren't gonna get better for you or your baby!! Your husband is a jerk an you should leave even if the baby is his, Anyone can be a Father, it takes a real Man to be a DAD!!!!He probably don't want to be this baby's daddy anyhow!!Your both better off w/o him!!!!
2007-09-26 05:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by ajjsdj4ever 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on your past relationship with your husband and did you have any children together. You could abort and he could still not forgive you.You need counseling quick!! If he won't be able to forgive you and move forward, you may want to leave then wait for the results of the paternity test and then if it is his, try and reconcile then. If it's not his, it takes a very,very big man to take care of his wife's child from an adultrous affair, (women do it all the time) it's just not in em'. I'll pray for you and your little one.
2007-09-26 03:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by Suzanne M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shame on you. If you had a good husband, why did you do this to him and your unborn child. You are selfish and obviously didn't care about how your actions would effect others. Do people make mistakes, YES, but if you can help it, DON'T! You should stay with your husband until the child is born and have him take a paternity test. If it's his, try to work at it and if not, then cut your losses.
2007-09-26 02:55:12 · answer #7 · answered by Tori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, leave. If I were your husband, I would leave you now. Especially if you have been with so many men you don't even know who the father is.
I just hope you have learned something here. That bad thing is that now there is a baby that may never know who their father is, and will know what you really are.
2007-09-26 02:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow it is going to be hard living the next 9 months waiting to see if your husband is going to leave you or not if the child isn't his. You might want to try getting some marriage counseling and see if you can work this out before then.
2007-09-26 02:54:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I think you should leave, you cheated, and you shouldnt stay together just because it is his. Dont beat yourself up either, If you were happy you probably wouldnt have cheated. Sometimes we do stupid things to fill some kind of void and the void only makes us happy temporarily. You probably werent trying to hurt anyone, just trying to make yourself happy. It happens, you probably should of been more careful, but now thats too late, so I think you should just move on and deal with the consequence and try to make sure that the baby's father is apart of its life.
2007-09-26 03:02:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋