She dosen't have alot of friends and Im not that close with her. But I don't know how to approach/console her.
2007-09-24 20:04:09 · 11 answers · asked by animatezoe32 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
A lot of people feel uncomfortable when approaching someone that is grieving. The best thing for you to do is to tell her that you are here if you need her, give her a big hug and just keep in contact with her. She may need you around her or she may just want to spend time on her own to deal with this. Whatever happens she needs her friends supporting her. Offer her help with the funeral if she hasn't already had it, or ask if she would like you to take her shopping for a bit of support.
Just be gentle and understanding that's all you have to do.
2007-09-24 20:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by samicles 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Consoling is difficult, especially when more than one family member dies at a time. If she feels like she'll never stop feeling so badly, you can tell her that grief is like the tides. The grief comes and goes, so she should know that the sadness may be there for a while, the go away, and come again.
Another thing you can do is buy her a book about grief. There are some very good ones. Any book that discusses the 5 stages of grief will be helpful.
Lastly, one thing someone did for me that helped me deal with the death of my soul mate. One of his friends came over to my house 2 or 3 times a week for a few weeks. Then he came over once or twice a week for a few more weeks. Finally, he dropped down to once every two or three weeks until I moved to another state. It really made a difference for me. It was like he was there to catch me as I was sinking. We didn't have to talk about my boyfriend, we knew too well what our connection was.
2007-09-25 03:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally, i know that from personal experience that if you let her know that you are there for her, that she will definitely reach out to you. you have to be very careful with the things you say, and do in regards to consoling, or talking to her about it. make sure your ears are open at all times. call her in the middle of the night every once in a while, just to tell her that you were thinking about her. pray for her. even if you're not a spiritual person.
i think that you have to pay very close attention to her though, because she will start showing signs that she is opening up to you. share with her past experiences that you have had with loss. personal advice. never tell her that you know what she is going through, or how she is feeling. let her explain, or show you, dont assume.
i think that you should not be afraid to walk up to her, and give her your warmest, most compassionate hug you can. it means a lot to hurting people. trusting someone is very hard to do at a time like that. especially if shes lost someone significant (i.e. close momma or daddy). i think that you should be very careful as not to expose her business to untrustworthy people that will use that against her. be very careful, because of the fact that she has been emotionally traumatized potentially for life. dont try to get too close too fast. and dont get frustrated if she starts to pull away from you, it shows that she is trying to work through things.
initially, dont let her deal with it on her own, even though she may say that she can, or it's " no big deal". that is a major sign of her reaching out to you. i know this from personal experience. good luck, and may God Bless you, and your friend. i'll keep her in my prayers tonight.
good luck.
2007-09-25 03:48:18 · answer #3 · answered by TWIN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to grieve - just be there for her. Be available. But you can't console her. It'll take a while before she can start talking about the pain.
2007-09-25 03:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by Mimza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to her and say that you know you werent very close in the past, but you're there for her if ever she needs anything.Keep your promise and invite her along to outings.Also try to find out if your parents could help her financially.
2007-09-25 03:25:16 · answer #5 · answered by jancoetzee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop by and tell her that you are thinking of her and if there is anything you can do, to call. Go to the funeral home, bring her a coke and just listen if she wants to talk. Check on her every few days to see if she needs you.
2007-09-25 03:08:53 · answer #6 · answered by hazel2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People who are grieving have different ways of expressing their grief, and our society is not very indulgent of loss. Express to your friend your condolences for her loss, and that you're available for talking, and she'll let you know when she's ready.
My thoughts are with you both . . .
2007-09-25 03:16:53 · answer #7 · answered by AgonyAuntie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
see this is the time she needs people around her.... u say u are not that great friend of hers.... this is a chance for u to be a good person....a good friend for her....he will be thankful to u all life if u help her out in tough time.....
2007-09-25 03:08:38 · answer #8 · answered by manav 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bring her cookies and milk. Ask her how she is doing. Then listen. Dont talk about yourself, she might say "fine" when you first ask, but not really mean it. Cry with her.
2007-09-25 03:08:41 · answer #9 · answered by niffer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
send a card/flowers
2007-09-25 03:06:32 · answer #10 · answered by T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋