I'm a widowed (4 yrs) dad of 3 bratty teens (boy, girl, boy) what can I do?

Question

My kids are 14, 16, and 17, and they have some good moments, mostly with people ourside our immediate family, but too me and to each other they are mostly bratty, snotty, self-centered, argumentative, juvenile, disrespectful, moody, irresponsible, self-destructive, other-destructive, slobs. They've attended Christian church and camps since they were small, but more and more they are resembling our materialistic morally degraded society. I am out-numbered and overwhelmed. What can I do?

Answer 1

It's the whole teenage thing.All teenagers go through this.It's like they are nice and sweet to everyone except the parents.I think it's the whole control thing,they like to think that they are the ones in control,and they can't stand to have someone tell them what to do,especially a parent.Oh trust me I'm having the same problems with my 12 and 13 year olds.No matter what I do for them it never seems to be enough.Most teenagers are not appreciative of anything that parents do for them.Looks to me like it's time to show them who the parent is.Start grounding them,and taking things away from them until they can learn to respect you.And also I don't know how long it has been since they lost their mother and they could just be lashing out at the fact that they have lost their mother.But you really need to get a hold of them Now especially the 14 year old as the others are almost grown.Good Luck too you and your children.Sorry for your loss.Just keep your head held high and know that you are doing everything that you can for your children.

Answer 2

Make sure you spend plenty of quality time with them so they have the sense that you truly care about them each as an individual. During your moments together, make it very clear that you will not tolerate any disrespect toward you or toward each other.

The teenage years are a time when many children become rebellious in an attempt to create their own sense of identity. All you can do now is to be there to support them and encourage them when they exhibit behavior that is desireable and make certain they understand what is not acceptable.

It is very difficult to parent teens sometimes, and even moreso when you are going it alone. Keep going to church and continue to look for opportunities for your kids to develop friendships within your church.

Good luck. I hope I helped at least a little.

Answer 3

Put your foot down and start doling out some punishment/discipline, but pick your battles. Don't make EVERYTHING a battle. Little stuff can be overlooked, or spoken about in a normal conversation. You're the dad, which makes you the boss. My favorite saying was, "I'm the boss, so I get to make the rules and YOU have to follow them. Don't like that? Take it up with the boss, and that's me! You get to be the boss when YOU have children. Right now it's MY turn." Make that very clear, and then follow through for goodness sake. The worst mistake parents make is making threats and then wimping out and not following through.
By the way, everything you have described sounds like normal teenagers. Just keep taking them to church, keep praying for them, keep consistent with the discipline in the house, and be a good living example to them of how to act. Children learn by example, not by words.

Answer 4

a million-what's the main embarassing element that surpassed off to you? ~ i will in no way remember something whilst human beings question me this? i'm specific something has, yet I doubt it. 2-What do you like some boy/female ~ character, somebody who looks after visual charm yet not necissarily twiglet looks. 3-Do you have faith in ghosts? ~ Open minded :D 4-call the terrific cutting-edge you ever have been given on your B-Day ~ i don't many times get many if any. 5-what's the main scariest element that surpassed off to you? ~ not plenty to be user-friendly :/ 6-what's your close to dying experence? ~ None. 7-Ever had head lice? ~ fortunately, no. 8-R U happy that Rebbecca Black's Friday have been given removed from youtube? ~ I doubt it? yet i do unlike her music, so i don't care. 9-U understand whi Jasmine V is do not you? ~ Lemme guess, You? 10-Hace you ever stole somthing from a keep? ~ that is referred to as a keep, and no.

Answer 5

I dont have any children, but I do know this...YOU RAISED YOUR KIDS THAT WAY! If you would have started off digging in their *** when they were young, then you would NOT have any problems now. Im 20 years old, and my parents have alwayz had me in check, and 2 this day, I wish I would back talk 2 my moma...she would knock my @$$ out, LOL!

What I think u should do is ... since they are teens try 2 talk 2 them first. If they still wanna disrespect you than take action. Start taking cell phones, their free time, anything they like...take it away... (Dang I cant believe Im saying this, LOL) BUt it worked for me...

Good luck with ya....

Answer 6

Missmuffin, oldgreymare, and Slim Thicky gave good answers.

I sympathize with you. Being a single parent with 3 teen age children is tough. You are out numbered but you carry the checkbook. The 16y/o and the 17y/o can not drive without your permission.

When I was about 6y/o my parents told me that they only owed me 3 meals a day (and I didn't have to like the food), clothes on my back (and I didn't have to like them), and a roof over my head. Everything else was a gift and a privilage that depended on my behavior.

When I was 10 y/o they gave me a bike and said that if I left it outside and it got stolen, I would never get another one. I left it outside over night one time and it got stolen. I never got another bike until I bought one for myself as an adult.

I thought that they were being unreasonably harsh about this but their doing that made it clear to me that they would follow through on whatever they said. It helped me to become more responsible and now, I'm glad they cared enough about my character development to do that.

Ask God for help and guidance with every issue. God wants to help you raise your kids.

There is a support group called, Parents Without Partners. Going to a group like this can be helpful for emotional support as well as ideas about how to deal with parenting issues.

You can do a search on their name and find their website. You might also find it helpful to check out the website of "Focus On The Family" that was started by Dr. James Dobson. He is a Christian and a psychologist and I think he is wonderful. I think you will find a number of helpful resources there.

Beware though, that there will be some people at Parents Without Partners that believe kids should never be told "No" and be given whatever they want. I say this because there are ignorant people like that everywhere.

As you say, we live in a materialistic and morally degraded society. I Thank God for churches that teach the truth and have activities for our youth to participate in and for fathers like you. God bless you.

Answer 7

I agree with January love... but maybe some responsibility could go a little ways also. Maybe in the form of a few household chores with a reward at the end of the week. But first of all is love. They've apparantly been through a rough time and now you're two parents instead of one.

Answer 8

give them a reality check. stop doing anything for them. Or when they reach the age of 18 kick them out, they soon come home with a bit more appreciation. This worked for me.

Answer 9

let them go,let them run wild,they will realize there mistakes

Answer 10

you shouldnt have become a dad, condom.....