My brother turned 21 and he wanted to go to a bar so my other brother22 and my husband another 2 friends had a guys night out and I thought it was fine to let my husband go cuss he was going to be with my brothers and they said they were going just to a bar and now 2wks later he tells me they went to a strip club! I cant even trust him with my own brothers!! I feel so betrayed and dissrespected by my husband and brothers! I don't know how to react to this? Is it bad enough to go as far as divorce? what about my brothers? Should I be mad? should I tell my mom? and get this I wanted my husband to go cuss it was a yr ago since his mom passed away that sameday!!!!!! so I didn't want him to be sad...........nautrally I was pissed! but now what?
2007-09-24 18:57:08 · 9 answers · asked by Daisy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The birthday boy is married and I know his wife doen't know!
2007-09-24 19:15:31 · update #1
Guys go to strip clubs, it happens. It's nothing to overreact about.
No, this does not warrant divorce. That's the problem these days, things get a little bit difficult, and people give up. You're supposed to stay and work it out.
The only thing to be concerned about now, is the fact that he hid this from you for two weeks! I think if you think about it, you'll realize that what you're really upset about is that he hid the truth from you, that your brothers hid the truth. This feels like a betrayal. On both fronts. You need to explain to your husband that no matter what, he needs to be upfront and honest with you, always with you, and not 'in cahoots' with any one else.
If you two had previously agreed that strip clubs were out of bounds, then there is also the issue of him breaking your trust in him. Doing something he said he wouldn't.
I think you would find that if you had been told straight away about what they got up to, then you wouldn't feel like this - whether it's dirt bike racing, sky diving, or a strip club.
Talk to your mum if you want advice on relationships, but there's no point 'dobbing' on your brothers, they are adults now.
As long as my husband is honest and open, and talks to me, then I am ok with just about anything he gets up to (as long as it stays within our marital vows, cheating is a no no!!)
2007-09-24 19:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by A derka der 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think that is the first time your husband has ever been in a strip club.It was pretty stupid of him to tell you,he trusted you enough not to get mad but sense you did you can now count on him never telling you anything he does. To him and every other man it's no big deal it's only a body. Men don't understand and never will why it hurts us knowing our husbands want to look at other women naked. Have you every gone to a club where guys dance if not would you have a problem with going with your friends maybe you should and see if your husband understands. Giving him a taste of his own medicine is the only thing that is warranted here not divorce that would be stupid.
2007-09-24 20:03:32 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one I say you are taking things too far. For one for guys its a right of passage into manhood to go to a strip club when the guy is old enough that is. I mean it used to be drinking true enough. But heck when you can get a drink at a strip club its like two birds with one stone for guys. And I know it may seem like a major deal to you about your husband betraying you and all that, even if it was the day that his mom died. I'm sure he wasn't feeling all that sad when he was at the strip club. I say just take it as a "boys will be boys" type situation. I rarely use that saying at all, but for something like this it is more than a little founded that your brothers would do something like that. Its a bit of a family thing as well. To celebrate your younger brother becoming a man. And last I checked your husband still part of the family so, he was just helping your bro become a "man" so to speak. Its nothing personal against you or anyone else. So don't divorce your husband for something I'm sure all guys go through. And can't even be mad at your bros either, because as men of the family they were doing what they saw fit as the manly thing to do. Again has nothing to do with you at all.
2007-09-24 19:06:55 · answer #3 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh please! For cryin' out loud, the guy went and watched some women shake their booties. Big friggin' deal! You feel "disrespected"? BALONEY - you're looking for an excuse for an argument or you're so immature you should be back hiding behind your mommy's apron.
You don't enjoy seeing a buff guy strutting around shirtless? Like >h e l l< you don't! What I see here is a double standard: you accept shirtless men in public, but get your knickers in a twist over topless women. Horsefeathers!
What's the matter, can't you find a performance by male exotic dancers in your neck of the woods to go see with your girlfriends? That's it! You're jealous! Awww - poor baby!
2007-09-25 02:36:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should you be pissed that he went to a strip club? It's a guy thing and there's not much we can understand about it. If you try to control his life, don't worry about asking for the divorce because he'll ask you for one! Keep an open mind, and remember: if your husband was there, maybe he was helping to look after your brothers and keep them from doing something stupid. So he got to look at some dancing girls while he was doing it..., but honey, you can't stop him from looking.
2007-09-24 19:02:13 · answer #5 · answered by Instructor_Z 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I wouldnt go as far a divorce but you definately have a right to be angry with your brothers and your husband! all of them should have known better especially your husband! just let him know that it upset you and that you dont want him doing that anymore..if he's a good husband he will respect your wishes and if he does it behind your back again then its time to take further actions.
2007-09-24 19:03:26 · answer #6 · answered by hunny_bun19 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i would sit them all down and tell them how you feel - it was inappropriate and wrong. i wouldn't go as far as divorce yet though....take time to talk it through first and see how that goes. one step at a time, hun....
2007-09-24 19:07:05 · answer #7 · answered by amyhwoods 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what's wrong with going to a strip club.... as long as he didn't have sex with any of the women there, then it's just like watching porn at home.
2007-09-24 19:06:59 · answer #8 · answered by rovendinoalui 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
he seems like a great person, strip clubs are great
2007-09-24 19:03:47 · answer #9 · answered by HeavenlyBliss 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋