My best friend/cousin got arrested for something serious and now he is no more in my life. Someone I used to call everyday is gone (he lived in Florida while I live in Illinois) and he was the only person I called on such a frequent basis. Now I hear from him once a week if that and he is no longer the partier/womanizer that he once was.
Not to mention one of my best friends from childhood died a couple years ago.
How does one deal with the loss of people that were significant in their lives? I now have nobody that has been 'tenured' in my life for so long (since i was in preschool).
2007-09-24 18:05:25 · 9 answers · asked by MLeinart7 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's really hard to lose someone. First you have to grieve the loss. But there is a difference between your cousin and your best friend: your cousin is still here. Yes, he can't be the partier he once was, but that's probably for the better if it got in him to trouble. I think you should write him often if he is in prison. I'm sure he will appreciate the letters. Just spend ten minutes a day writing him. He will be so glad that you still care. It doesn't have to be fancy, just 'thinking of you' or 'tonight I saw something on TV' or just a joke or something. Prison, or rehab if that's what he's in, is really hard.
I had a friend who changed a lot, and someone said, "It's like he died." But he's not dead and neither is your cousin. Be there for him during this difficult time, even if he can't talk as often. And if he needs a phone card to call, send him one.
Hope that helps.
2007-09-24 18:16:34 · answer #1 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, ok permit me initiate with this... 4 years is a protracted time to figrue somebody out and in case you at the instant are not chuffed now, probability is you isn't interior the destiny. sounds like he's not prepared to budge. i will enjoy that he's giving sound reason for the form of guy or woman he's (non affectionate) yet whilst that's something you want and are not getting you are the only suffering. i could consult with him and tell him seem those are issues I assume, you may desire to be shocked simply by fact he will probably arise with some issues he feels he's lacking from you besides. attempt to make a compromise, if that does no longer paintings, recommend taking a injury. with a bit of luck, he will understand what he had and attempt to come again with you and make some ameliorations. If no longer, you would be greater advantageous off simply by fact interior the top, you will no longer have settled for below you pick or deserve. desire this enables stable success!
2016-10-09 19:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People will come and go in your life. People will change too, for the better or the worse. You will meet new friends to care for and talk to. It's okay to feel pain. Pain is a part of life. Sometimes feeling sad and sentimental with some good sad music can make you appreciate the seasons of your life.
2007-09-24 18:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by giselehere 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep what you can get, write letters and talk when he can. Its really hard getting over a friend who has passed away, and although time heals you. You never fully get over the loss. The new friendships will not be the same, so don't compare them. Go with the flow, and be open to new people.
2007-09-24 18:09:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ummm - that's a hard one. i have recently experienced something almost just like you have and i think inside there will always be a longing for those we have lost in one form or another.
time does help with this and only time gives you the wisdom and experience to know how to heal. trying to keep busy helps a lot - maybe addressing some long term goals is a good distraction - but it doesn't really "fix" anything. be generous with yourslef and alllow yourself to feel what you feel and take t from there!!!
2007-09-24 18:13:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to go out and make more new friends. and be happy that you do still at least have that 1 time a week that you get to talk to your cousin. i know its not the same but you do at least still get to have at least that contact and it wasn't taken completely away.unfortunately as it was with your other friend. you can never have to many good friends. as we go through life we face all kinds of changes. we have to pick up ond forge our way on in life, keep a positive attitude and things will look up. good luck and best wishes.
2007-09-24 18:18:51 · answer #6 · answered by Gladys C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find more friends or get closer to the friends you already have. You'll need as many friends as you can get, especially close friends, to help you through tough times. Times when you lose someone, times when something bad happens to you, etc.
2007-09-24 18:14:38 · answer #7 · answered by Montag 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I recently read a quotation that "spoke" to me so much I had to write it down. I don't know if it will help, but here goes:
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" Author unknown.
2007-09-24 18:14:41 · answer #8 · answered by Faerie_Queene3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all you have to accept reality. they're gone. next is to move on. move on without them. your life does not depend on them alone. make new friends. who knows? you may have a better or greater friends. dont compare your new friends from your bestfriends coz they are different.
2007-09-24 18:11:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋