Lighting a Darkness
In the sky, clouds cover the sun.
Darkness arrives, light is on the run.
Shadows tear at enlightened hope,
Hearts begin to break, unable to cope.
Voices cry out for angelic love,
Smoke covers the white of the dove.
Just when blackness seems to win,
Prayer are heard, salvation begins.
2007-09-24 18:02:42 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Looks like you've got yourself a short little hit, although I did find the rhythm a little off, causing a slight strain to the reading. Even so I gotta send ya a thumbs up and a star.
2007-09-24 23:04:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dondi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haven't I read this before...? I mean this is all I see is rhymes and 'darkness'. Granted, this 1 has a 'happy ending', kind of... But the ending is so small 'n minuet to the rest.
I mean it's a good ending but... Ya know honestly it's just not my style... It's a good poem, but not my style. Plus you did seem to go a bit religous, which is a total turn-off no matter what.
But it's a good poem in the end...
2007-09-25 20:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by Twili 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it was going great in my opinion until ya hadda go gittin all religious
your poem couldnt save itself from you and dogma
but I am one who believes you can only save yourself
and most of what you need to save from is religion
2007-09-25 01:10:40 · answer #3 · answered by genntri 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
that looks like a real poem
2007-09-25 01:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I really like it... is it yours? It's good.
2007-09-25 02:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋