I wrote a sentence. Please tell me if there's any mistakes in it.
Within four months, Terry Fox had collected a record-breaking
24 million for the Marathon of Hope and not long after that, he
retired in 1981.
2007-09-24 16:43:32 · 9 answers · asked by Narmandakh K 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
between Hope and Not, i would dump the "and" and put in a semi-colon
2007-09-24 16:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a run on. You also changed tenses within the sentence. "Had collected" and "retired" shouldn't go together. You'd have to say, "By 1981, he had retired." You could also eliminate the "had".
Within four months, Terry Fox collected a record breaking 24 million dollars for the Marathon of Hope. Not long after that, he retired in 1981.
2007-09-24 16:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by Elle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Within four months, Terry Fox had collected a record-breaking $24 million for the Marathon of Hope. Not long after that, he retired in 1981.
Oh, and your topic question is wrong too; it should be "ARE there any mistakes", not "IS there any mistakes"
:)
2007-09-24 16:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by Maus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sentence: Within four months, Terry Fox had collected a record-breaking 24 million for the Marathon of Hope and not long after that, he retired in 1981.
You need a dollar sign before 24 or the word dollars after million, and you need a comma after Hope. Alternatively, you could put a period after hope, take out and, and capitalize not.
Cheers,
Bruce
2007-09-24 16:48:53 · answer #4 · answered by Bruce 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Within four months, Terry Fox had collected a record-breaking 24 million for the Marathon of Hope and, not long after that, he retired in 1981.
Just missing a comma after 'and'.
2007-09-24 16:47:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes, there is a mistake in your first question. Do you see it? Does the verb match the noun in amount... for example there are mentioned a plural of "mistakes" and the verb is... what?
You've got to match up those nouns and verbs. As for your sentence, you may need a comma I think. Just read the sentence out loud a few times and see where you pause when reading it out loud... maybe you need a comma right there. Luck...
2007-09-24 16:49:30 · answer #6 · answered by LK 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes
2007-09-24 16:46:44 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Sarai♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks ok. Put a dollar sign in front of the $24 million.
Your question, however, needs correction: Are there any mistakes? Please tell me if ther're any mistakes in it.
2007-09-24 16:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 commas missing as follows: Hope, and, not long......
2007-09-24 17:02:23 · answer #9 · answered by paulyap1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋