Its been over a year and I cant let go of my ex bf and what he did to me. Even though he hurt me to a great extent...I showed a tough exterior and never asked him that I wanted him back, because he betrayed me. But inside I was dieing, and I still love someone who has hurt me so badly. He wants nothing to do with me, and I know I will never see or speak to him again. How do I move on????
2007-09-24 16:34:20 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally its a mind thing, You hate the fact that he hurt you, but at the same time you are still in love with the memories of this person. Look at it this way. When you love someone that dies, its hard you will never forget them but at the same time you have to let your heart heal. They are gone. If you keep thinking about what was its gonna kill you in the long run. If this guy doesnt want to have anything to do with you, then you have to mentally let him go. If he did something so bad that you cant forget your better off without him. Its going to be hard but at the same time you have to look out for you. Can you honestly say this guy is out thinking about how he hurt you. No 9 times out of 10 he is getting on with his life. I know getting back in the dating life is hard, because you will compare all the new guys to this guy. But think like this, you didnt lose something good, he did. All I can say is if your out there trying to date, take it easy. You need to have friends right now. People that can understand what you have been through at the same time take your mind off of things to help you to move on. Once you start hanging with Friends the memory of him will slowly begin to fade. When and if you think your ready to get back to dating, start off by being a guys friend. Dont jump into something because there is an attraction, get to know him for the future reasons. Anyways I am currently writing a book about relatinships. If you have any more questions or just want to talk you can email me @ reece_christina@yahoo.com or if you h ave myspace I also have a myspace account a www.myspace.com/loves2lovemyboys or if you have yahoo Instant messenger my id is reece_christina. Hope you contact me if you have any more questions.
2007-09-24 16:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by seximami110206 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. All the books say that you are holding on to what you knew and will judge all future relationships based on your last one because that is what you consider love. Take a long look back and what he did to you and how he treated you...... now do you really want him back so that he can do it to you again?????? I am sure if you really think about it the answer is no. Now go out with a clean slate and look for a man who is so not your ex. Look for someone that will love you with all of their heart and treat you as the wonderful and courageous woman that you are.
I know its not easy to do, I have been where you are. I am hear to tell you that you can move on and forward without him. It took me two years to do and a lot of soul searching as to why I kept picking the same kind of guy. Though I can tell you that I found a great nice guy. One who 2 years ago I never would have picked. They are out there..... Have faith and go and find one.
2007-09-24 16:40:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on yourself and your life. Dive into your career or start a new hobby. Keep yourself busy and find a way to meet new people. The busier you are, the less you have time to think about it, and the more interesting and appealing you'll be as a person. Get off the computer and read a book, or do yoga, something!!
2007-09-24 16:53:45 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy_1030 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out who the real you is.
waht do you enjoy? what are your hobbies, likes, interests? do you know?
find out!
get the paper every saturday morning and check what's on. make a deal with yourself to do something indulgent just for you every weekend.
the more you do this the more you will find yourself and start to really appreciate who you are - on your own - without him.
in the process you will discover that you will make new friends doing things you enjoy. don't go there for that purpose, it will be a bonus.
number 1 purpose is to find you and take care of your interests and needs. meeting people comes naturally once you start to feel good inside again.
2007-09-24 16:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by sass24 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, sweets, you aren't in love with him.... you are in love of the image you thought he was, not the real guy. No one in in love with a betrayer.... you love what was once there.
How to move on? easy. Try the internet.... filled with great men, and as well, a few nut cases just like those sitting next to you in church. try E-Harmony, Match.com etc. a site for every flavor.
2007-09-24 16:58:46 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by allowing yourself only 15 min. a day to think of that issue!! NO MORE/NO LESS, and when you've used your time, make yourself get busy(mentally), on something else, lower your thought time by 2 minutes each week, and before you know it you'll be out of time&he should be out of your mind!!
2007-09-24 16:41:18 · answer #6 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi at a loss for words girly, i think of this guy sometimes choose some area and it sluggish to alter into mature guy. We, as men, are sometimes controlled by way of lust and intercourse as quickly as we observed some females who're hotties and attempt to flirt them and play the activity. yet as quickly as we are carried out and know that it became stupid, we be apologetic approximately of what we suggested or did to our family participants. I trust gnoswodahs. provide your guy a 2d hazard and forgive him. otherwise, it won't artwork out.
2016-10-05 07:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to forgive him...not for him...but for YOU! I really do believe that once a person forgives another for any wrong doing there is this burden of sorts lifted off their shoulder and they can move on with their lives.
2007-09-24 16:39:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get some therapy so when you choose a mate again, you choose more wisely. You obviously have issues that allowed you to be taken in by a jerk.
2007-09-24 16:37:13 · answer #9 · answered by James Watkin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to surround yourself with friends and start a new life and move on.. just put it out of your mind and let it go so you can heal that pain you keep inflicting on yourself.. good luck
2007-09-24 16:49:52 · answer #10 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋