I want to divorce my husband while he is in drug rehab?

Question

My husband entered drug rehab for 8 months after 12 years (on & off) of addiction to prescription meds. It is a Christian regeneration program. I have decided I want a divorce. He still has 4 months to go. I am afraid he will leave the center or convince me to not go through with the divorce. Of course, the center is very anti-divorce. We have 2 girls ages 8 & 5. I don't know what to do! I am miserable!!

I have been to this center to see him every weekend for 4 months. I DO NOT see him changing. He still tries to manipulate and control me. Did I mention he suffered a seizure from an OD in front of my girls?? I think i HAVE been there for him for the last 12 years. And I have been lied to countless times. I have stuck by his side through bankruptcy, forclosure, ruining 2 careers and 2 seizures. I am done! I cannot keep going like this.

Answer 1

Are you miserable because he's getting help or that you didn't get out sooner?

You have kids and they are having to see their father go through a treatment that they don't even understand completely.

Why are you giving up on your husband just when he needs you the most? Why aren't you giving him a chance to prove that he can do his family and himself some good?

Answer 2

Well its not much of a marriage is it? Its just 2 people stuck together by a piece of paper. You don't sound like you are in love wit him anymore. you may love him but youre not in love. i say go slow with this new man, you deserve it! and cant you get non profit lawyers? ask your family for some help. im sure theyd help u abit if they care enough for you and your son to get away from him since hes a druggie. i dont want to sound mean or rude but if he's relapsed many times and doesnt seem to change whats so different this time? drugs really turns a person very selfish, they only care about themselves. the drugs become them and if its not in his heart to change he wont.. it might just be for show the whole rehab thing. he will go and come out and pretend he will never use again and than next thing u know youre in the same situation again. i say at least seperate from him. tell him whats up, say you are seperating him and only want him to see your child on weekends or whatever arragements you want but that you want no more relationship with him on a wife/husband basis. you have to make this clear to him. you are a strong woman and you need to lay down the law! he cant come into your place and just see you whenever! he cant just come and have sex with you anytime (if he does that)... stand up for yourself. and if he lays a hand on you if youre afraid of call 911. do not feel bad about this other guy. just dont . your marriage is dead! you can do what you want! good luck! and i hope everything works out!

Answer 3

I think if you divorce him while he is still in there then as soon as you say divorce to him or show him the papers, he will go into a meltdown. He will probably quit the rehab which would be worse then you be miserable because not only would you two be miserable so would your girls. If i were you i would wait to make sure he is stable, out of rehab if it worked, and talk and try to work out your problems. If not then you could go for a divorce but remember it is hard on the kids because I am a teenager and my parents divorced when I was young. We may not talk about it with you but having parents divorced is hard and sometimes emotionaly stressful. But, Just talk with your girls and tell them you are simply taking a break. But sometimes a divorce is better for all of you.

Answer 4

I am curious. Experience with some men has had me keep them around (stupidly) when they were not even serious about real help. Why would you leave someone if he truly has now gotten into a program and has stuck with it for four months? You may find a whole new wonderful man coming out of there. This is an addiction and a sickness and I could see how twelve years would be a long haul but why now when he is seeking to change? Did you meet someone? Get used to life without him and decide you don't need him? I would have to hear more of the story. Do you love him or did you ever?

Answer 5

ok I understand you are not happy, and you have had a rough marriage with him doing the drugs on and off for 12 yrs. You were a strong woman to put up with it.

But it's pretty low to kick a man when he is down. He is apparently trying to kick his addiction. You filing for divorce while he is in there .. might cause him to have a set back.

If you want the divorce back enough don't let him convince you. Be strong.

Answer 6

divorce husband drug rehab

Answer 7

She specifically said that she HAS stuck by him and visited him every weekend for 4 months.
She said she is SCARED he will leave rehab, and that still uses phycological abuse in manipulating and controlling her. not to mention the years of lying (which lying or mis representing or fraud are punishable in a court of LAW in ever partnership except MARRIAGE) Obviously HE is not concerned with her best interest, so YES she should be supported in a safe exit if she is ready.

LEAVING abuse is one of the hardest things to do because of the threats, retaliation, coercion, and a BIG ONE is COOPERATION with the ABUSER from people who think Domestic Violence in any form is a CRIME WOMEN SHOULD ENDURE TO GIVE A MAN A CHANCE!

http://outofthefog.website/traits/

Answer 8

Well reading your additional information start packing ! While you still have it in you.
This is not a uncommon thing to happen in your situation ,having him there held you hostage yrs. already (Just do it).
If its hard for you just think what your daughters must be going through.Your making the right choice just never look
back/ they can snag ya fast. Also start proceedings for child support early you will need it.
Hopefully your husband in time, can be part of his daughters lives Just without you.
Always remember to never poison there minds about there daddy good or bad. Good Luck

Answer 9

"For better and for worse. In SICKNESS and in health"

You need to at least let him get well.
If he doesn't get well, then he is CHOOSING to stay that way. But to divorce him when he is trying to do something about his problem?

That is cold.

You will have to answer your higher power for that.

Hope you can sleep at night and look yourself in the mirror after this, dear. I guess vows mean nothing to you, huh?


And talk about kicking someone when they are down. What a class act YOU are! (Yes, that is sarcasm, just in case you are too thick to figure it out...) Maybe you should just go, he would be better off without you. He has probably been popping pills because he is stuck with such a "wonderful" person for a wife.

Answer 10

im so sory for what u've been through. i might not understand how miserable ur life is having a hubby like that (im 21, single) but i think what i can say is talk to someone close to u. ur mom, or his mom or even ur sister. ask them if what ur about to do is the best and only way to get u and ur daughters out of the miserable zone. after u settle all that, and after u are very confident and firm with ur decision of getting a divorce, then only u can confront ur hubby. when u are very clear with ur decision, thats when u'll be ready and not falling back to ur hubby's arm.

good luck eh.

Answer 11

That's it kick him while he's down.


Seriously you needed to do what's best for you and most importantly your children.

I myself would probably wait until hes out to see if hes changed. With the kids and the history behind it all. But that's me. You have to make the choice nobody can make it for you.

As for what the center thinks screw them they don't have to live with the choices you've made. stay married or get the divorce either way your the one who has to deal with it. your life live it your way. You have two of the best reasons in the world to look after and raise.