From an administrative standpoint, what happens when someone dies?

Question

I'm familiar with the stages of grieving, but I am wondering about the business of death.

I know my father has a will, but both my sister and I live several states away from him. He's already fought cancer once and goes hunting a lot, even though he's very old and is a lifetime smoker. He lives alone but does have some friends.

So I was wondering, if he dies, say, hunting or something and is found, who would notify me? How would they find my phone number? Who executes the will, makes arrangments, etc? Would I need to do anything? I have small children and I'd hate to drag them around the country or leave them for long.

No one close to me has ever died - does anyone know what happens?

Dudes, a little less judgment here. My father was very abusive when I was a child and it's a major feat that I even manage to have a civil relationship with him now. We're not close, but I've managed to not hate him.

Sorry if that offends your fairytale sensibilities, but my relationship with him is the best I can do... that and I gave MY kids a great father who loves them.

Answer 1

Your father may have already made the arrangements. If he hasn't, you can ask him what he wants and suggest he write it down and send it to both you and your sister. He can then contact a funeral home to set up the plan for his ultimate demise.

What will probably happen is that, if you father dies alone, someone will eventually find him when he doesn't show up for work, appointments, answer his phone, pick up his mail/newspaper, or some other dropped routine. When I was a paperboy, one of my customer's deaths was noticed because her papers kept accumulating.

His body will be transported to the local hospital. At that time, the hospital staff or his friends will contact you or your sister, assuming that he has talked about you or listed you as next of kin with his physician or the hospital. They would probably also send the police in to find his address book, if necessary. If arrangements have not already been made, they will suggest a funeral home or a cremation service provider. In order to keep expenses low, you may want to look into the laws of your dad's state regarding handling of the dead. If embalming is not required, then you may be able to save bundle by foregoing that procedure.

His will should name an executor. This person has probably already been notified. If it is a relative, they usually serve charging for expenses only. If it is an attorney, the estate will have to pay an hourly attorney's fee. Your responsibilities will be dictated by how much is left of your father's home, and how much you want to help salvage the belongings he leaves behind. If no family members want to claim anything, it's possible for the estate to donate all the contents of his home to Goodwill or the Salvation Army.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^

Answer 2

From an administrative standpoint, once your dad dies (may the merciful God save his life), his friends will notify the local police. If he is alone while dying, his body will be found and the local police will try and identify him. His neighbours, relatives and lawyer will be contacted. Surely you will be contacted too because your dad will have your adress and phone number in his mobile or at his residence. Anyway, the chances are that the police will find out in any case. If he has you in the will, you will get the money.

However, do not worry about his will or having you running around the country with your kids. If he is lonely in his last days, he might as well donate his property to some charitable or religious organisation because he might not feel any connection with you or your sister and because people at old age tend to get religious and emotional.

Finally, I really wish that your dad has a healthy and long life and I sincerely hope that your kids do not contemplate your death when you are old.

Answer 3

A lot depends on what, if anything, your father pre-arranges beforehand. My father pre-arranged for cremation in addition to making out a will, so some of the particulars were already addressed/taken care of when he died. He did not tell us about it, though; i found the paperwork in a jumble of other papers stacked on the kitchen counter. So even though it's not the easiest conversation to have, i would recommend having a conversation with him sometime about what sort of arrangements he may have already made, what his preferences would be if he hasn't made any, etc. Either that or be prepared to sift through his stuff later to find the insurance papers, any documents pertaining to pre-paid funerals etc.

Most of the time the will gives the executor a fair amount of latitude for handling such matters as selling off any real estate. It would also be the responsibility of the executor to attend to the petty chores (e.g., cancelling magazine subscriptions) though it would be acceptable for the executor to delegate stuff like that to someone else. When my mother died my father pretty much left it to me to handle the incoming mail addressed to her, dispose of her clothing, sell off most of her books, etc. (though i did get help from my aunts with a fair amount of this).

Answer 4

Wow, what a bunch of ******* we got in here. Sorry about these other answers from people who are too stupid to understand that a) your father hasn't actually died and b) you simply want to know what will happen when he does die.

Personally, I've wondered this myself. If I died, would my life insurance policy go to my mother like it's supposed to? Would she have to claim it herself or would the insurance company contact her? Who would let the insurance company know I died since I live alone? Unfortunately, I don't have the answers for you, but the answer above that recommends a book is probably your best bet.

When someone close to you dies, it's a stressful thing & I can understand why you'd have a lot of these questions. You should probably talk to your father about it and try to clear these things up with him directly, although I do know it's very difficult discussing things like this.

Answer 5

excellent question.
(and I'll editorialize a bit by saying that some of the answers demonstrated an embarrassing lack of compassion)

I really don't know much in the way of specific answers, but
wanted to offer that your father sounds fairly lucky to be
living NOT in a "nursing home"

I kinda think I'd much rather die out in the woods walking around than hooked to some machinery in a income-generation scheme engineered by bio-med whiz kids.

My mom died several years ago and I was lucky to have a brother who acted as executor.

If there is no named executor or will, I think the term "in-TES-tate" applies, and a state-appointed executor takes over.

"Intestate" is a situation you probably would be better off preventing.

Answer 6

My belief says by faith if you accept Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord, you are bound for heaven. Good deeds follow after you let Christ transform you and the Holy Spirit convicts you of any wrongdoing. God is super loving God but also a just god. Everyone has the opportunity to hear the message but some people ignore it. That's not God's problem anymore.

Answer 7

it seems like you are more concerned about material things than your dad dying. That is sad.

However, not really the question that you asked.

So, lets say if someone is found dead somewhere, the local police/shriff will be notified. They will try to ID the person. Then they will find out where this person lived and contact neighbours and so forth.

It is best to talk to your dad and see if he goes out alone or with some friends.

I am not even sure why I am answering this questions.

It is making me sad. I dont really want to have child like you.

I am sorry. I dont mean to hurt you but you kinda sound awful.

Answer 8

You have to read the entire book, "Handbook For The Recently Deceased". All of your instructions will be in there.

Answer 9

How could you be familiar with the stages of grieving if you have never lost anyone in your life?.....And I too find it very saddening to know you would would be more worried over having to travel with your kids ..... than the actual death of your dad......