2007-09-24 15:51:36 · 35 answers · asked by debbie r 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
no not at all...it's a way of coping with her death. It's okay to do this so long as it's not getting in your way from moving on. Try talking with someone about her if you feel the need to. I'll be praying for you.
2007-09-24 16:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it certainly isn't! This is your way of minimising the true extent of the pain that you have. While some small part of you is waiting for her to walk through the door, you are subconsciously living in hope that maybe someone, somewhere has got it wrong and she hasn't really gone or that you will suddenly wake up from the nightmare you're experiencing. In your heart of hearts you know that isn't the case but if it helps carry you through the first year or so, then let it continue. This is common in the bereaved - my Mother In Law did exactly the same.
My father died a few weeks ago and although it isn't the same, I find my pain reduced by reminding myself of all the good qualities he had and the happy and fun times we all had as a family. The memories you have of your daughter and all the funny little things she did when she was younger will hopefully give you a sense of warmth and comfort one day.
Bereavement counselling is definitely a good idea. There are different types which range from one-to-one or group sessions where you can just sit and listen without participating yourself if you so wish. By listening to others, you may be amazed at how many of their feelings you too can identify with.
I'm so sorry for your loss and sincerely hope this helps.
2007-09-26 05:32:25 · answer #2 · answered by Chucksey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is only 8 weeks, I will say, it is not bad. But it is 8 months. I understand your pain and the longingness. Just to make you comfortable, a small Buddist story for you.
When Goutam Bhutta was living in India, he was doing miracles to his beleivers. One day a lady came to him crying with her dead son in hands. She wanted Bhutta to bring her sone back to life because her agony of loosing her son is incurable. Bhutta could have done that. But he felt it is against nature and he wanted to give the lady an experience that death is for every one and can not be changed.
So she asked the lady to bring a hand full of rice from a family in which there had been no death, so that he can wake the child up. The mother ran happily to find a family / home with no death. She tapped al most all the doors in the town and around for many many days, but could not find such a house. By then she had got the truth of the life that every one that exists has to die some day. She went to Bhutta again to thank him for the knowledge that he gave her.
This is a simple story suits to you too. May be it will be too hard to understand this truth at first. Medicines are sore, but they cure. Be bold and come back to the real life. You will be alright. God Bless You.
2007-09-24 19:04:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, of course not. As long as she was alive, it may take at least that long to get used to her not being a physical part of your life, your daily routine.
Grief is a tremendous shock to our world, it's not something we "get over" but only get used to. It takes some people longer than others to adjust, but that hole in your heart will always be there, Mom. Meanwhile, it can be quite a roller coaster ride, but one that does eventually level off.
If you haven't been in touch with a support group for parents who have experienced the death of a child, I stongly recommend it. There isn't anything that you've felt or worried about or experienced that most everyone else in the group has been through, too, and that's a great relief. The one I have experience with is The Compassionate Friends, an international non-profit, non-denominational, all volunteer group with chapters all over the world, including 600 in the US: Toll-free: 877-969-0010.
There are better days ahead, Mom. God bless.
2007-09-25 05:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry for your loss
This is natural, it is part of the grieving process and sometimes it takes longer for some people than for others to accept the death and have memories
From experiance counseling helps, if you dont want to get professional help talking to friends and family, writing in a diary are a good and healthy way of confronting your feelings
2007-09-24 19:32:57 · answer #5 · answered by Brittany B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats not bad, you just miss her. thats probably the hardest thing ever (to loose a child). you just need a new person in your life, you're vulnerable right now. You need to find a good friend or maby a boyfriend in your life. you're looking for her to come home because that 's what you were used to before she died. I hope you find someone who loves you as much as your daughter did, i know that will be hard though but trust me, there's someone out there for you.
2007-09-24 15:59:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I can't imagine your sorrow. It isn't bad, there are stages that we as humans go through to cope with death, and through the different stages we sometimes spend longer amounts of time than others. It will take time before you get though this, you lost your baby! In reality you know, in the back of your head, she is not coming home but it is just a way your mind & heart are coping with her loss. It takes you back to comforting thoughts. I still do that with the loss of my dad. He has been gone 3yrs. and I still think of him walking out the front door of his home. It in some way makes you feel closer to them. Don't worry its going to take some time, be strong and take care.
2007-09-24 16:09:57 · answer #7 · answered by Meli 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I'm so sorry!
I can't even being to think about the grief you are going thought right now!
You need some real help like a psychologist or therapy but if you ever feel like you need to talk to some you don't be afarid to email me at
cmcclubewa@yahoo.com
2007-09-25 02:36:53 · answer #8 · answered by amanda :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry for you loss. I don't think its 'bad'...its such early days for you. My dad has passed 2 years now and I still look for him at their house...If I drive past I look for him in the window....There are no steadfast rules to grief and when you lose so much its hardly surprising that you feel this way. I do hope that you have support and love of good friends and family to carry you through your dark days. Bless
2007-09-25 00:07:07 · answer #9 · answered by widow_purple 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry, losing a child must be the hardest thing in the world i really feel for you. right now you searching for her is whats keeping you going through this terrible time...but you really do need to get some counselling so you can come to terms with losing her and realise that she cant come back.. i really hope that you have the support of family and friends through this terrible time xx
2007-09-24 16:24:44 · answer #10 · answered by ckk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋