i am saddened by the fact that most marriages break down after 10 years of marriage.?

Question

Do people change? Or their expectations get more demanding or mid-life crises crop in for the men? Why?

Answer 1

I know what you mean, and I agree with you. I think it's more than just one thing, people change, some people over time become selfish and think only of themselves, and quit thinking of their spouse, or the family, also I believe that some of their expectations get too high and demanding and their spouse can't meet those expectations because the bar keeps getting raised to unrealistic expectations.

Answer 2

Marriages can break down any time.

In Singapore, for every 4 couple that you see, one is in divorced, the other having problems .........

8 years ago I had infidelity issues and we were seperated. (At that point we were married for 9 years.) I had multiple relationships across the countries that I did business in.

The good news however was that we got back together 4 years ago. Thru proper counselling, we now have a stronger marriage and are fully aware how men or women can stray.

What are the reasons ? Multitude actually. Some of these have to do with expectations, past baggage, human weakness and some even spiritual reasons.

How well do you know your spouse ? What is his love language ? What is your love language i.e. how do you communicate and receive love ? there are 5 primary ways.

1. Acts of service.
2. Spending Quality Time.
3. Receiving Gifts.
4. Touch.
5. Affirmation - words.

So imagine that if your primary `love language' was spending quality time and that of your spouse was doing `acts of service'; you would a scenario of one person running round the house doing work and the other waiting for this person to sit down just to talk ........ there would be no communication on love. Love is not just sex !

Check out www.coos.org.sg/sermon - 16 Sept 2007 where my wife and myself shared what happened to us and how we were restored. We are the last couple in that session to share our life story.

If you have more specific questions, pse contact us.


Francis Chong

Answer 3

People do change sometimes. But more often than not, people overlook red flags in the beginning that they should pay attention to, and "accept" these minor irritations (or what seems like minor in the beginning because they are crazy about them), thinking maybe they're having a bad day, or maybe this or maybe that. Then, when they marry them, and it magnifies or gets worse, they realize they've gotten themselves into much more than they bargained for. I will say I think mid-life crisis, 7 year itch, neglect, or abuse play a part, and people should use divorce only as a last resort. You should earn your way out of a marriage, but to think you're stuck in an abusive situation just because there's a marriage certificate, and it gives that person the right to do whatever they want, because you are morally bound to stay, is just ridiculous. There should be a lemon law on marriages too!

Answer 4

I have been married for 14 years! We still get along great. We have 4 kids and twins on the way. We also love each others family. We wish that every one in the world had the same type of love we have.My parents were married for 12 years before they split up. I always think that people who have problems with marriage usually change within the 10 years most people break up. Me and my husband try to understand each other but even then sometimes we don't and have to ask each other.

GOD BLESS

Answer 5

Who told you most marriages break down after 10 years? I know many people who have been married for decades and are still very much in love and show it. You have been listening to the wrong channel.

Of course people change with age. That is natural. Marriages get better and better and the love grows stronger and stronger. You just hear more about the ones who give up. Don't believe everything you read or hear on statistics they are not based on all of us.

Answer 6

it not people per say.. but their values ( or lack of them ) and the lack of any good example of long term marriages produces children who grow up quitting in relationships, and thus when thy marry they easily quit, and become self absorbed. also with a highly mobile society family ties are easily faded and broken and thus divorce is easier to do with out any guilty conscience or ill will. if anything most people will tell you privately that if they go to a wedding, they do not expect he marriage ( especially if it's young ) to last. i don't, and Vegas would never lay odds on it lasting. women now a days are increasingly are doing he filing for divorce, as the feel that they can have it all and a man gets in the way of this goal, as they get older they realize how hard it is to find any guy to marry, marriage break downs can also be categorized by race and religion and economics. Whites divorce at much higher rates than poor Hispanics, this is because the emphasis on American women to be indepedant, where as Hispanic stress family above all else

Answer 7

People can only tell you their personal stories. Generalizations don't really hold up when it comes to this topic. My wife and I love each other and were highly compatible in our thoughts and our feelings, but deeper than that, in what I guess you'd call a spiritual foundation, we weren't really together. I'm not talking about religious beliefs because those are ultimately thoughts, and were similiar enough in that area. It's that deeper part of yourself, where love truly touches the heart and soul of you, that has to be the basis for a successful relationship. If you're fortunate enough to find that, good. Some of us go many years content with life and suddenly wake up to find there was an important piece missing and once you realize that, it's impossible to go back, no matter how much you try and pray to forget.

I guess yeah, people change. :)

Answer 8

I am 29 and a lot of my friends that were married out of high school were divorced within 6-8 yrs or marriage. I think they just grew up and apart. I was married for 5 yrs (i married at 22), divorced now for over 2 yrs. I was so caught up in the idea of marriage that I failed to recognize he possessed none of the qualities that I needed in a partner. I think a lot of people just get excited about starting a new chapter and don't look at the bigger picture

Answer 9

It can be for any number of reasons, and usually it's not just one reason. People divorce, because they can. It's sad to say, but there's no law saying you have to stay married or you have to try and work things out for a period of time before you can divorce.
But instead of looking at the marriages that haven't worked out, look at the ones that do. You might have a more positive outlook on marriage.

Answer 10

People just give up very easily. Marriage is a commitment and contract between two people. One should be able to withstand temptation and lust in order to make a marriage work. Why is it that some people can't resist temptation? It only shows how weak the person is.