Really big issues lately. She is always putting herself down, blaming her horrible childhood on herself (when it was because of her parents) She has no confidence and is always saying that everyone else is better than her. That she isnt skinny enough, not pretty enough, etc. It is really starting to bother me because i dont know what to tell her anymore. I try to get her to make herself more social and outgoing. But she clams up because she doesnt want people to not like her. So she doesnt say much at all...She often feels like she is bothering people when she calls them to see what they are doing. I am on vacation right now and dont know what to tell her anymore...please, if you have had past experiences with someone like this, ideas to help her would be amazing. If you want addtitional info, please post in an answer, as i will be happy to add more...
2007-09-24 13:56:45 · 7 answers · asked by ughhh 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I've been where you are now. You want to know what to say and when to say it. The best possible answer is to let her know that you're there for her ... anytime...day or night...just a phone call away.Your friendship will make all the difference in the world as to how you help her cope with her insecurities. Be upbeat and positive and try to bring the update and positive out in her. You don't mention religion...but the power of prayer will guide your every move and help you to be the kind of friend she needs at any given moment. I wonder if she has any religious connections or beliefs. She needs to believe in a higher, healing, loving power beyond her wildest dreams. Another thing, I wonder if she truly feels the way you described or if she's doing it for attention so that you'll keep on and on and on telling her how wonderful she is. Maybe you should recommend she see a professional counselor or get active in church ... or both.
2007-09-24 14:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by 55PAT33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First just try talking to her. Tell her she is pretty, not fat, and that there is no way that people wont like her. Tell her she's an amazing person, she just needs to believe in herself. If none of this helps, maybe try seeing a doctor. Also tell her that she had nothing to do with her horrible child hood.
2007-09-24 21:02:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friend is suffering from a depressive illness......If so, continue to be supportive of her, but try to encourage her to seek medical attention and/or counselling to help her put her childhood experiences into context and rebuild her self-esteem........But do be sensitive to her, and back off if it seems as though she is clamming up...Unless she specifically asks for an opinion, don't give one...She may just need a listening ear right now..
2007-09-24 21:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by cautious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my thing is.... that every person was delt some cards. as you get older new cards (problems) come, and old cards go. but no matter what cards you get weather good or bad, god, if you believe in god will never put a card in your hand that he doesnt think you cant handle.
i think of this to kinda help me.
but also just stick with her and keep telling her that the things arent her fault, that although she doesnt think that she is pretty, there are a thousand other people who think she is. and just remind her that you will always be there for her, no matter what.
hope this helps.
2007-10-02 16:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by cameron 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have like a sad sack well i hungaround a person like that and not being like that it took a toll on me. it gets you to thinking of bad things and its not good not positive an di finally just left her alone its not worth the trouble. shes just going to be like that and maybe just with you who knows. take care.
2007-09-30 00:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh. Tell her she needs to talk to a professional. Then give her a phonebook.
2007-10-01 18:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe see a doc
2007-09-24 20:59:07 · answer #7 · answered by Honest_&_Loyal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋