My hubby and I had an argument where he said something really hurtful. He said I am the ugliest girl he has ever been with. During an argument, are these words for real or just out of frustration??
2007-09-24 13:45:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That would have to be out of frustration.
If that were true, how would he have ever been attracted to you in the first place?
See where I'm coming from?
He had to be attracted to you in order to want to even go out with you in the first place.
Things like that are always said to be hurtful...no truth to it whatsoever ;)
2007-09-24 13:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can go either way, sometimes an argument can bring out the truth. things that would never have been said. Then, does his actions protray his words? Does he treat you bad? Do you talk to each other without agruing? Have fun together, hang out? Go out together? If everything is ok in these departments then, yhea it could have been out of anger, just to hurt you but if not. You need to still down and have a long talk and try to sort things out or deceide what is going on.
2007-09-24 20:54:57 · answer #2 · answered by CaseyK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it. If that's how he really felt, do you think he would have married you?? Although it was a very hurtful thing to say, it's bull. He didn't mean it. He was definitely lashing out. I would laugh it off.
On the flip side, sometimes we DO say things we really mean, even when in the heat of an argument. These are times suppressed emotions come to surface. That's why it's so important to communicate before an argument ensues, you know?
2007-09-24 20:52:42 · answer #3 · answered by MaknMeCrzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that might be out of frustration he could have meant your attitude is ugly not your looks persay.
But 9 times out of 10 the words are frustration 1 out of 10 is truth so dont take it to heart .Just kiss and make up.
2007-09-24 22:19:00 · answer #4 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to find a new way of resolving conflict........If you must argue about something, make sure that the discussion is limited ONLY to the topic you are disagreeing about!!!....Develop LISTENING skills........do this by agreeing that each one gets an uniterrupted chance to speak......and the other can only respond when that person has finished speaking...BUT in order to respond, you must firstly repeat word-for-word what the other person has said (to be certain that you've heard it correctly!)......PRACTISE this form of communication in a fun way together by discussing a non-confrontational topic such as the weather etc......IF a confrontation develops that is escalating, do what you would do with two angry children........send each other to a quiet corner until tempers cool down!!!
2007-09-24 20:52:28 · answer #5 · answered by cautious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but at that moment he meant it.... there is always a grain of truth during arguments.... now there are different types of ugly.... I have said this to my ex wife while fighting... she is very attractive but has a very ugly side so while she is beautiful on the outside she can be very ugly on the inside... I hope this explains and helps to some degree.
2007-09-24 20:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by DavidV 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they could be both but mostly mean things said in the heat of an argument are being said just to hurt your feelings. I'm sure you do the same thing . if he apologizes then he knows what he said was hurtful an feels bad about it
2007-09-24 20:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by als been a dad 3 times 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was very mean and hurtful for sure and a hit below the belt. I would tell him that all the women he ever had in the past must have looked at him that way and thats the reason that none of them wanted him for a husband! Let him know that you married him out of pity because he was so ugly and this is the way he thanks you for it!
2007-09-24 20:56:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think anger is often like alcohol - it makes us say what we really think but are usually too inhibited to say it. But your husband could also just be an immature knucklehead and said it just to hurt you.
2007-09-24 21:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both....i say hurtful things to my spouse when i am angry, but the things that i say are really the truth that i've thought about at one time or another...however, i only reveal my true feelings when i am angry. i do later on regret that i told him the truth because it is hurtful to him.
2007-09-24 20:57:26 · answer #10 · answered by Common_Sense2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋