ok i know my husband is in a lot of pain due to a seriosu back injury and he has been out of work for 9 months now so he is very depressed bc he is home all day and my parents and his parent shave made him feel like a loser for it and have not been supportive at all, he is going back to work in a week so i though tthis would make him happy but the last month or so he has seemed so unbearable and we fight all the time for the last 5 months. i try to be understanding i mean i am the only one who has been there for him i never complain about being the only one working and never having any money for myself. he always goes out and spends money on basevball cards bc it relaxes him when he is home alone and i dont mind bc it makes him happy., but it seems like my happiness doesnt matter. his temoer has been bad lately he would never hit me but he gets mad at every little thing and he is always in a bad mood lately. i feel like im walking on egg shelss all the time. i dont understand this?
2007-09-24 13:23:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it doesnt get better when he goes back to work, then there is something else wrong .... and for him to spend money on ball cards........ get real here..... he is a grown man, he should know better than to waste your money that you are working for to pay bills and such...... it seems like he is being a little selfish here... sorry about his injury but he is using it as an excuse......... I hope things change but if they dont, you might have to move out and move on........ sorry but life is too short not to be happy
2007-09-24 13:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hun you need to understand that he has been cooped up in the house for how long?? how would you feel if you were inpain for that long and having to rely on everyone else..we always take are anger out on the ones we love the most because we know that person will always be there for us..now i understand it can be hard to deal with on your part but im sure it will be over soon he will feel good to be able to go back to work and actually do things for himself. Try to look at it from his point of view and how you think you would feel you might think it would be nice but it is only nice for about a week and then you get bored try and understand on top of that you are newly wed so you guys are still learning about what each other likes and dislikes it does get better you just need to learn how to communicate
2007-09-24 13:38:20 · answer #2 · answered by Tiffany R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Years ago I was run over by a car and suffered severe pain that lasted for years. I could no longer work (I couldn't lift a ledger book) and became extremely
depressed. People who haven't experienced long-term constant pain may have no idea what it does to one's ability to make good judgments.
That being said, you are in the unfair but necessary position of being the rational one here. Mabe you can help him get ready emotionally for returning to work. He may not
have the confidence he used to have. The only way I can see for this to get better is for him to get back to a work routine and that will take time.
I wish you two the best and hope that his return to work will ease things for both of you.
Take it a day at a time.
puff
2007-09-24 14:51:27 · answer #3 · answered by pufferoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is depressed and has a lot of things going on and he is taking it out on you. I wouldn't be willing to walk on egg shells and I think that I would let him know I have been there for him during this very difficult time for him, but it is also difficult for me. If this didn't work, I would go see a therapist with him to find out a better way of communicating. And, if he wouldn't go, I would go see someone alone and decide if I wanted to be in this marriage.
2007-09-24 13:35:43 · answer #4 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, been there and done the exact same thing. Husband had to have back surgery and out of work. Turns out his back wasn't as bad as a lead everyone to believe. He started his little pity party and such and chewed me out for breathing. No matter what I did or how I did it, it wasn't good enough. He treated me like a dog and I was the one there for him. It was like he was blaming me for all of his problems!!! He went back to school rather then going back to work and things got worse. We are divorced now and have been for a year. You need to remind him that you have been there for him thru it all and that things just happen. That it was not your fault and he doesn't need to blame you. Him not working might be the problem....but if it keeps on you need to seek a counselor to stop the problems before they get worse or completely out of hand. Good Luck
2007-09-24 13:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by CaseyK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excuse me for being insensitive but why would you marry a guy that was not able to work and had a serious medical condition at the time ARE YOU STUPID? I would love to offer you some advice but to be honest I'm really just overwhelmed by anyone that would put themselves in your position voluntarily
2007-09-24 13:32:30 · answer #6 · answered by DavidV 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Geez, I feel bad for you.If after a week back to work, if he is still acting this way,Remind him that you were his right hand when he was down and out.Tell him that it was hard on you too.Tell him that you are starting to get grouchy when he;s grouchy and, you don't like it! Remember,You teach people how to treat you.If you never complain and, you act like a door mat....you will be walked on.
2007-09-24 13:38:37 · answer #7 · answered by loveyouoshinystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you sat down and discussed this with him.?? Spending money on base ball cards sounds like a kid not a responsible adult. And you can't buy happiness. nor does wasting money take the pain away. I think he need therapy.Mental and physical.
2007-09-24 13:35:45 · answer #8 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is taking his anger out on you. It may not be personal but the fact is he is nit the breadwinner and hos ego is hurt but at the same time he doesn't deserve to treat you the way he does. Tell him about his self and don't let me come up with any excuses......
2007-09-24 13:30:23 · answer #9 · answered by ablockgurl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop walking on eggshells and have it out with him. Tell him how you feel and to stop taking his anger out on you and you are not going to take it anymore. Ask him why is he always so angry. Ask him if he wants a divorce.
2007-09-24 13:39:29 · answer #10 · answered by moonchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋