I'm 23 i've been married for 6 years have two handsome boys, but my marriage is falling apart. I've suggested marriage coun. to my husband but he thinks it's a waste and it won't help us out. I love him and want to make it work! did it REALLY work for you??
2007-09-24 12:58:05 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Chances are is that he has no interest in saving the marriage. Sorry.
2007-09-24 13:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by Das ist mein fluch 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on how willing you both are to make it work. I didn't do counseling but my husband and I read/is reading Love and Respect and Cracking the Communication Code (both by Emmerson Eggrich) It did work for us. It gave us knowledge of what we both needed to do for one-another it wasn't hard to do mostly common sense (sometimes the obvious is'nt so obvious) I read the book first and started applying knowledge and the response I got from my hubby was great. He WANTS to do nice stuff for me and will go out of his way to do so. The book is a best seller as it should be. I would recommend it to anyone and everyone I know it really really helps. I hope you give it a shot. You can check out some info about the books on the website www.loveandrespect.com. Good luck
2007-09-24 13:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counciling will only work if "BOTH" parties attend and contribute to the session , my husband refused to go with me said it was a waste of money and if he did show up I couldnt make him speak.
So I went alone , but the trouble with going alone even if it's just for moral support and having someone to vent to its still a waste of time because I was the 1 changing it seemed to suit him , and it was me gaining a relationship with our combined 7 children because I was seeing a whole new side to me , it didnt help we're seperated , he wants me back but my heart is closing down and I have NO interest in changing myself for someone else anymore.
So while it is a good idea as so many state here no it doesnt always work if both spouses arent willing to make a contribution to the effort of saving the relationship , men are scared the councilor will agree with the wife and then they have to admit that they are in fact the blame for the situation and then they have to change and their not willing to accept the blame and start working at changing themselves.
2007-09-24 13:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling doesn't work... the two people that enter into marriage counseling have to DO the work. If your husband is not willing to do the work required to make changes in this relationship.. it will be a waste of time.
When my husband finally agreed to go to get help for our marriage, I had gone beyond the stage of wanting anything but OUT. He was a fool like your husband and did not agree to go until he knew I was on the verge of walking out the door.
So... that did not work too well.
2007-09-24 13:11:19 · answer #4 · answered by Bentley 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My wife and I went to counseling. We put it all out there for him and I thought some of the things he talked about was actually pretty insightful. He was pretty realistic and always gave both of us "homework". Everything he suggested I should do I did as best as I could, but my wife only put in a trivial effort at her end. After 3 months she said she didn't want to go anymore because she felt that he was "picking" on her.
So, it didn't work for us but no fault of the counselor I think.
2007-09-24 18:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-21 23:07:55 · answer #6 · answered by yesenia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a great set of books that truly made our marriage get off to the right start. We have only been married since July, but we have been together for 6 years (3 of those were living together). Please please please get the books "Every Man's Marriage" and "Every Woman's Marriage". It is a big slap in the face to each person in the relationship....a wake up call. It truly keeps us close, and is worth reading over and over. We have both loaned out our books to another couple that wants to better their marriage. I also majored in Human Development and Family Studies, and I will tell you that in all of my research, I have found that the most fundamental thing in any relationship is communication. Never fight in the bedroom. Always take it out of the house so as to maintain peace in your living place. I could go on and on but the books will tell you everything! Best wishes, and I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-09-24 13:05:29 · answer #7 · answered by Kelli M 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can tell you Absolutely, yes it works.
Even couples who are happily married can benefit from a weekend marriage retreat. But if you're having troubles....anything form minor hiccups in the relationship to major issues, Marriage Counseling Works!!!
Just remember that counseling only gives you a toolbox of skills for you and your spouse to use to repair your own relationship and build a better marriage...it is not a magic cure-all.
Good luck.
Semper Gumby (Always Flexible)
2007-09-24 13:26:20 · answer #8 · answered by Greenman 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It can work if you want it to work. The problem here is that your husband won't consider it. Too bad. If he won't, you go for counseling to figure out what you want to do. The ones doing the work in counseling are the ones going for counseling. The counselor/therapist gives feedback which can help you to see what is happening here. They guide the talk to help you look at problems and to see what you want to do.
2007-09-24 13:49:26 · answer #9 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, I maybe considered it as 75-25 % it works. The 75 % really works because professionally the advises were based by experts on researched, about only 25 % margin of error due to the environment and its' applicability.
2007-09-24 20:47:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didn't get the chance. My ex wouldn't agree to it. So...22 years and 4 kids later...we are no longer together. I know in my case, he was too proud to admit that he might be the least bit at fault. I think both of our faults would have been brought out in counseling, and we would have had to work on correcting them. I hope your guy goes with you and you stay together forever. Both parties have to want it to work to make it work.
2007-09-24 13:07:09 · answer #11 · answered by onceisenoughilearnedmylesson 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋