I have been married for a year to a guy I have been with for 4 years I am 23 he is 28 and we have 2 kids we are happy for the most part but somthing is missing and we both know it he is very controling and it drives me insane my problem is I am a nurse and one of my coworkers a doctor has asked me out he has showed intrest in me for a while and knows I am in a rocky marriage I am extremly attracted to him and he is such a gentlemen although it seems so tempting I have never done anything I dont know if I need to break upmy home and go with what seems so great or try to make what I already have work?!?
2007-09-24 10:49:47 · 35 answers · asked by Ashley 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have fun with the doctor. If you are careful and don't set a pattern you husband will never know. It may even help your marriage by giving you something your marriage is missing.
2007-09-24 10:56:24 · answer #1 · answered by John 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Your first responsibility is to your children. The only thing you should be thinking about is whether you can resurrect you marriage, so those children can have a descent life. And the very LAST thing you need to do is get involved with any other man. This doc is a bum to be asking you out knowing you are married. Forget him. He is just the devil in disguise and can do you much harm, but no good at all. He is just looking for a free roll in the hay with you. It could cause you to lose custody of your kids.
Get serious and go to marriage counseling and see if the marriage can be saved and have new understanding between you two. This will help both you and your hubby. Don't delay, get started now!
2007-09-24 11:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by oldknowitall 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk with your husband about your marriage. Leave the doctor alone. Everything always looks greener in another pasture. The doctor will do nothing but cause misery and more harm then good. If you are unhappy, even though you stated otherwise. You need resolve your own family issues and problems before creating other problems for yourself and family, like the doctor. I do not for one minute advocate staying in a marriage just for the children. At the same time dating and sleeping with the good old doctor outside your marriage is wrong and you and the doctor should know that. I would also question the Doc's motives since he knows your married. That means he's very low in morals, for going after a married woman. He can also lose his license to practice medicine for this action. Deal with your marriage first. If you decide to part ways fine, but do not have the other man in the picture in way shape or form.
2007-09-24 10:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by aswkingfish 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is almost like what I am going through! I'm your age with 2 little ones as well with an older husband. He isn't controlling, but he has his faults too. When you married your husband how did you feel that day? What promises did you make to your husband and what were your dreams of how you would live? By dating others it only compounds your problems, and if you call this doctor a gentleman, well, what type of man really shows an interest in ANOTHER mans wife? Not only that, but the truth always comes out one way, and you have to remember that your children come first. Unless things are to the point that your children are always watching you two fight etc then you need to end your marriage, but cheating on your husband, (dating, kissing or having sex etc. doesn't matter it's cheating!) isn't going to help it. Maybe you weren't ready to get married when you did, but you are married, and you need to be a little more mature then cheating on him, your husband. If not for your marriage, but then for your children, who are in reality innocent bystanders who will be the most affected by your actions once they are found out if you go out with this doctor.
2007-09-24 11:02:42 · answer #4 · answered by ~*Wanted*~ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough question a lot of people face every day.
My best advice (having been married and confused), is to really examine the reasons you are in this marriage. Then think about the reasons you have to stay and the reasons you have to leave. Once you've done this, make a clear-headed and informed decision about your future and the future of your children.
If your decision is to leave - do not, I repeat - DO NOT leave for someone else or the possibility of another relationship. 99% of the time, that will not last and then you have two painful relationship break-ups to deal with. You will need time to heal, to figure out what prompted you to marry a man you don't love, and to move on in a healthy way. And, if you are even asking this question and considering the dr., you don't love your husband.
Take care to really ask yourself some tough questions about this and other relationships in your life before you make a decision. You're not only making decisions for yourself, but for your children and whatever you decide will affect them for the rest of their lives.
Follow your heart (you have to listen to it first) and do what keeps you and your kids healthy.
2007-09-24 10:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by Grá 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If something's missing, then maybe there needs to be a conversation as to what it might be.
If it's passion, then that's normal! You both work alot and take care of two children.
This doctor sounds shady and has low morals. First off, he knows that you're married...and is basically overlooking that, because he sees that you might be willing to go for it.
Don't do something stupid and have an affair that you might regret later. Do the smart thing and reevaluate what you value about your marriage and what you don't.
Oh, and a true gentlemen wouldn't be trying to tempt a married woman. Most likely, he's just wanting a piece.
2007-09-24 10:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You say you are happy for the most part. And you have two children with your husband. No marriage is perfect. If your husband is too controlling, tell him how you feel about it. Most nurses I've known in my life aren't pushovers, they're strong women who know how to manage people. It's old, but ever heard the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side?" The doctor is tempting because he is considerate towards you and he's attractive. He's new, and you are used to your husband. I think you'd be making of mess of things to start a romantic relationship with him. It's okay to appreciate his attraction to you, but try to stay professional and keep your thoughts on your family, where they belong.
2007-09-24 10:59:57 · answer #7 · answered by Kate J 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if your taking the attractive doctor into consideration already then it seems like you don't want to stay with your husband. I find that most people tend to stride away from the truth and problems by cheating and having affairs. Don't do that to your family and yourself. Just communicate with your husband and let him know his mistakes and both of you work on it. It's not worth losing your family just to risk it with a guy who probably won't end up at all that great.
2007-09-24 11:22:25 · answer #8 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got married tooo young! What was your rush????? This story is old! I hear it all the time and it is like hearing a scratch'd record.
Right now, you should be single, enjoying your 20's, going out, dating different and many people, TRAVELING!
The best time to marry is 30! By that time you are mature, you've had your fun and ready to settle. It is clear that you now wanna do what 20 year old's want to do, but too late.
WHY? Because you wanted too much too soon and now you regret it. I'm sorry, but this is the truth.
KARMA: Don't forget, that if you cheat on your hubby, it is gonna come back to haunt you! YOUR KIDS WILL PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE, THINK ABOUT IT!!! Many adults with ISSUES come from a broken home. Do you want your kids to have those issues too because of your choices?
2007-09-24 10:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
May I offer some advice? Don't cheat. Leave him before you do something that would hurt him like that. Cheating leaves people with scars on the inside. Ones that take a lifetime to recover from. If this man has serious interest in you he will wait for you to make the right decision and if he doesn't then he is NO man at all.
2007-09-24 11:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by dazednconfused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Resolve your current relationship problems before cheating. You owe that to your children. And I hope for their sake you and your husband can work things out! Just think about it are you totally ready to give up on your marriage? If you cheat it will surely doom the last remnants of your trust and love! Think about why you fell in love with your husband in the first place...take a weekend away from the kids and try to re-connect. Good luck!
2007-09-24 10:59:04 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋