A couple I know had an open marriage for 3 years now, and they loved it!
They said they were committed to one another and are allowed to love other with the understanding that they had to get each others permission first and at anytime if one of them said STOP it was over!
Most of all their kids could never find out! well that went south when 2 of their 3 kids walked on mom and her boyfriend. It was VERY BAD, the mother tried to stop both her teen boys but they sent him to the hospital and she also went!
Now Child Welfare is involved and has removed the kids from their home. The parents who work one for Purchasing company, the other for a small business development lost their jobs as well as their "Special Friends" both of whom moved without forward address!
Their kids are so scared and now wont allow their mother to even "KISS" them when the family visitation comes around.
What can this family do to move past this?
Both party's regret these actions and wont do it again!
2007-09-24 10:15:51 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The parents get to see their kids once a week and must pay (by court order) the state $700 a week for all 3 kids welfare & support!
Both of them are nearly broke and can't get jobs in the area now and must leave to get work what can they do?
Yesterday the woman said she had get an abortion friday because she did not know what the state would do, and admitted she was uncertain of who the father was.
They have decided to move with a for sale sign going up on saterday, but fear the state is going to take the proceeds from the sale of family home what can they do to stop that if that happens as well?
One more thing it's not me, I screwed up my life years ago, this is her situation!
2007-09-24 10:16:00 · update #1
OK, this is why people should need a license to have children.
This is sick. I hope you made this up. Children should be a parents first concern. They all need a lot of therapy.
I hope that the people who had these kids (no they are not parents) are ordered by the court to attend parenting classes.
I would stay out of it. I would also evaluate my friends. Are these really good people?
2007-09-24 10:28:23 · answer #1 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those cases "when you play with fire you're bound to get burned!"
It's too late to go back & rethink what they could've done to prevent this plus maintain their lifestyle. I doubt very much that there is anything that they can do. Living a double life is never the way to go. Open marriage - should = Open family & al parties should have been made aware of what was going on (by a certain age)... however, can't go back now.
They need to go ahead & move. Write the kids each a letter & apologize for lying to them (this is the biggest part of the whole deal) Leave - & hope someday when their kids are grown that they will want to find them & forgive them for the betrayal...
For every action there is a reaction... I'm so sorry!
2007-09-24 17:46:28 · answer #2 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think people fool themselves into thinking open marriages work when in reality they don't. They are going to have to jump through the hoops to get their kids back. I can see why the kids are mad at the mom cause they think she is all to blame for what is happening. Sounds like the son had anger issues long before the beating of the boyfriend.
sounds like they need to get some counseling. As for the sale of the home the state can't step in and take it if they are up on their child support for the kids.
2007-09-24 17:27:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't realize that the state could take away the kids for a parent having an affair.
This is a lifestyle that comes with risks. They knew that their was a chance that their kids would find out, esp. if she is doing it in a place where they frequent.
Of course, kids are not going to understand this. I am 32 years old and I do not understand the concept, nor do I want to.
They need to get their acts together and quit feeling sorry for themselves. They made a mess of their lives now they need to dig their way out and prove themselves to the court.
They need to take parenting classes. Go to counselling, whatever necessary to get their kids back. Then they need to tell their kids that they made bad choices, but that does not affect their love of their kids.
2007-09-24 17:23:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just proof of what damage can be done by acting irresponsibly.
The situation sounds like a mess and I feel very badly for the children.
There's too much going on here. You won't get any good advice from anyone on this site.
Time and forgiveness are usually the two best ingredients for healing. But this situation is going to require a lot of both.
2007-09-24 17:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by samans442 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lady needs to contact a lawyer and find out what she should do legally. Why was child welfare involved in it? Why are the kids so scared? It is one thing if they didn't know what sex was and another to be so scared that they don't want a kiss from mom. I wish her the best of luck
2007-09-24 17:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by ooh2sweet2b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to get a lawyer. They may not be able to move. In some places, that would be called abandonment whether that was the intent or not. The family can be healed. BUT they will need to get family counciling as well as legal council. They are not without hope. It's pretty dim, but not gone.
2007-09-24 17:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by Jack 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the hippies told us free love was free, they lied. Karma is a killer. The kids are going to have to turn to their inner power and selves to muscle through this. They will need support and encouragement to take advantage of the things around them to succeed and life and with a little luck, they will make it.
As far as the parents...Fck em!
2007-09-24 17:28:14 · answer #8 · answered by bettercockster7 c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they should have regreted this a long time ago. They are in a mess now and there is little they can do to clean it up. they need social services counseling and to do what ever is necessary for the sanity of their kids.
Children don't ask to be brought into this world and it is our job and responsibility to do what ever we can to nourish them and protect them. Sounds like they failed that course.
2007-09-24 17:27:28 · answer #9 · answered by Deborah S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They should move to a new state, start a new life, and then be responsible to show the courts they are capable of having their family again.
2007-09-24 17:23:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋