I have a really great roommate, but something has been bothering me lately and I want to know if my feelings are justified. Before we moved in together, we discussed the things that were important to us roommate wise, and the only thing I said was that I don't like having a roommate who has her boyfriend over all the time. She shared her roommate "deal breakers" with me too, and we agreed to respect each other's wishes. Well, now she's dating this guy and they spend the night at our place about 5 or 6 nights a week. And what bothers me even more is that he actually has his own place! I don't understand why they don't stay over there more often! Its not that I have a problem with him or anything; he's actually a really great guy. But like I told my roommate when I moved in with her, I signed up to live with *one* roommate, not two. Am I blowing this out of proportion? What do I do?
2007-09-24 09:14:39 · 6 answers · asked by Lyn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are not out of line, especially since you discussed this beforehand. But its a tricky situation - no doubt. I think you have to have a talk and tell her you like the guy, but you want to stick to your original deal. If you want to compromise, agree on what nights are "on" -- like, Fridays and Saturdays are open -- or whatever you agree on. Then make her stick to it... whose name is on the lease???
2007-09-24 09:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by dhdaddy2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not blowing things out of proportion. The boyfriend situation was discussed up front, and she doesn't need to have him there 5 or 6 night out of the week staying over. 5 or 6 nights a week means that he lives there! RENT FREE! It really doesn't matter that he has his own place. You made it clear to her that you didn't want a roommate that was going to have their boyfriend spending the night, every night. It's wrong, and you should sit down with her and go back over the first discussion that you had about being roommates and what your likes and dislikes are! You might want to start looking for a new roommate in case she gets huffy and wants to leave, sticking you with all the financial responsibility of your place. If she continues to have her boyfriend LIVING there, either you should leave, or she should leave, and since she is the one breaking the rule, I would advise that she have to pack up and leave.
2007-09-24 09:23:13 · answer #2 · answered by grace95838 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think it is a serious problem. The guy is there almost as much as you are so I'm sure he is using up food, supplies etc., Plus you can't really relax the way you would if he wasn't there.
It is just time for a house meeting to remind her that this was your "deal breaker," and that you are starting to feel like he is there too much. Have an open discussion about what is too much and what isn't. Suggest that they spend two or three of those six nights a week at his place instead.
Let her know it isn't anything personal against him.
2007-09-24 09:21:45 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this happen when I had a roommate except he ended up moving in and NOT paying anything towards the rent.. He felt that since they "shared" a room that he didn't have to chip in towards rent.. I quicky pointed out that he uses water, electricity and the things that were mine in the house... So, he paid $100 towards the bills... However, maybe just talking to her alone and letting her know that while you do like her boyfriend that maybe they could stay at his place a few nights a week... Keep things light and simple and it won't turn into an issue... Good luck
2007-09-24 09:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not blowing this out of porportion. Like you said you signed up for one roomate! do like my friend did and if her boyfriend is going to be there all the time then the rent and all need to split in 3!
2007-09-24 09:27:34 · answer #5 · answered by nena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i think 5 or 6 times a week is alot maybe you should talk to her and tell her you like him but you just want your own space without any men in it somtimes. tell her somtimes 3 is a croud and you aren't a fan of the show 3's company lol
2007-09-24 09:34:17 · answer #6 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋