Why do women...?

Question

look down on my friend? He is 42 and his girlfriend is 18 and no matter where they go people shake heads and make nasty comments, sometimes aloud! Are they jealous of their happinness? And why are they so quick to stereotype that relationship? You never see other men get irritated by this, they usually high-five him (when she is not around...) I ask becasue I am in a similar predicament (30/19) and I can already feel the weight of public disapproval... Your thoughts?

Baba Yaga - sloooowly very slooowly pull your head out of your a...s and tell the doctor to up your meds.

Answer 1

I can't say what I really feel on here but F' em -- F what they think -- As long as you're within the limits of the law and you're not hurting someone, it's nobody's business -- Guys like younger women and women like older men -- it's the way it's always been ----- It's biological, this is the way we are, some people suppress it, some people are strong enough to "go for it" no matter what people say -- I happen to be one of those people -- age is only a number as long as you're not breaking the law ------

Answer 2

Although the age difference is amazingly a big gap,can't say I haven't been there. (I was the younger one of course) You can't always help who like,sometimes age difference really does matter especially if the female or male is underage and not legal. If the person is at least legal and able to think for themselves then I wouldn't see what's so wrong.But the fact is even in this society people look down on it,that a man would go out with a female who is young enough to be their daughter. Men are cool with it,most men,and they don't see a nything wrong with it,well,the ones that are being perverse that is. They see it as well your getting it on with a young girl,not that you guys may share feelings of some sorts. Although it can be hard to see eye to eye with age differences so large. Often the relationships do not last and it comes to an end as the ideas and out looks are different. People think it is sick that a grown man would want to be with a young girl. Sometimes there are really men who have interest in the person and not their age,but then again you have to remember (I don't know if your one of them and I'm not saying you are.) there are men out there with another agenda,they want a young girl who they can shape and mold their minds,and use their bodies as their personal sex toy. This is how society mainly sees this.Alot times this is what happens. The public is always gonna see age first if you choose a relationship with someone w ho is younger then you at such a large gap then yes,expect stares and comments.Women feel why can't a man get a female his own age,is he a pervert? Alot of women are just self conscious,they feel as if why can't he be interested in a women like me,I'm of age,I'm smart yadda yadda,men often choose a younger girl and in this day and age you would think people would just say okay great get over it,but it's still going to be an issue. Women and men do n't always think alike but what happens to all the good women who are of age,who have to compete with young girls to get a man their own age?
Look if you have true feelings for the girl,then good great go with it.If your having fun with her and you know it will go no where,then either deal with the comments or dump the girl and date someone your own age.

Answer 3

Age is just a vestigial mode of time. It is meant to represent the knowledge that one has picked up through life experience. It doesn't always work that way. I've known some 35 years olds that are more immature than your average pre-teen, and some 18 year olds that have lived through more than any three adults. As long as the two people in the relationship are consenting adults, don't let society dictate the "right" and "wrong" of your situation. People look down on relationships for all sorts of reasons, age, gender, race, ect. Don't let it bother you and you'll find quite quickly that you just stop noticing when people do it.

Experience:
I have been in relationships that had a large age gap or crossed racial lines. Just be happy and it snubs the noses of people who think they know what's best for you.

Answer 4

How bout this question....why do the men 'high five' him? That is probably the very same reason that women are looking down on him.

When I see an age difference of that size (either gender being older), I consider the differences in life style and experience. A girl (or guy) at 18 is still very young mentally and emotionally. He or she is probably still in school, while their partner is involved in a career....very different situations. They have no common ground to speak of, and very little in common, as a result.

So, that leaves us with an interest in sex and having a trophy for the guy, and a father figure for the girl. Not really the healthiest of relationships...

Answer 5

I think that's the public, it's hard to think that the younger party fully understands the relationship and it's hard to feel that the older party isn't taking advantage of the other person. But people have to try to remember that as long as both parties are of the legal age it's their choice. Either it's a mistake and at least one will regret it or it really is a completely legitimate relationship. Whatever it is only the two people involved will ever really know.

This is a case where the public should be allowed to disapprove and scoff on the inside but really really should treat the couple with respect on the outside.

Answer 6

Let's turn this around a bit. How about if it's a 42-year-old woman dating an 18-year-old man? Do you think men would be so approving of them? I don't think so. They would say she's robbing the cradle or make all kinds of nasty references to her age. Why is it all right for a man to date someone who's young enough to be his daughter but not the other way around?

Answer 7

The age difference wouldn't bother us if we knew that you and your friend were not royal jerks. But we don't know this - and, in fact, we have evidence to believe just the opposite: that you ARE royal jerks. And that is why it bothers us.

Again, I hope this 18-year-old girl is going to college. If any 42-year-old guy gives a s.hit about his 18-year-old girlfriend as a human being, he'll tell her to go to college, support her in becoming self-actualized as a person, and encourage her to learn new things and meet new people. If this guy isn't doing that, then, no, they shouldn't be together. No one should have to throw away or ignore his/her own personal goals for a romantic relationship, especially when the person is only 18 years old and has lots of things yet to do and places yet to see.

Answer 8

Women view each other as competition in every situation of life. Most won't be honest enough with themselves to admit this but it is the truth. That is often why mothers and daughters fight so much. Women shake their heads at this situation because they see the issues the young woman will face and view it as irresponsible on the man's part. Men have a shorter life expectancy than women so should it work out long term she will end up old and alone. Women also see the younger woman as their replacement, their biggest fear. If their equal man is looking for a little young naive girl to be by their side then the value of the woman of their age depletes.

I have been in a similar relationship and have found through personal experience that the age difference eventually becomes an issue. If someone in their 40's is seeking the company of someone so much younger it is often to relive their own youth. Often the younger partner grows up and seeks the security and stability that the older partner never had or is incapable of giving.

I have found through personal experiences, these relationships leave the younger partner devastated and disillusioned with life on one level or another.

Answer 9

I'm glad you asked this type of question. My fiance and I are only 5 years apart. I am 22 and he is 27. However, he has gray (well, salt-and-pepper) hair, which makes him look older. And I look like I am around 17 years old. We get hateful looks from people, particularly WOMEN all the time! I can't stand it because I am NOT as young as people think I am (and I am actually a senior in college) and he is not as old as people think he is.

Bottom line -- People judge on appearance too damn much! And they should mind their own business.

The sad thing is, people will always find some way to judge you. So, continue with your relationship and don't let other people's superficial judgments get in the way.

Answer 10

Legally nothing is wrong. But that kind of age gap shows that the guy is very immature no mater how mature she is. But, people won't say much if the guy were 62 and she was 38. Then she's called the gold digger.

Answer 11

I hate to say it, but your friend's relationship with that girl looks to other people like an announcement of his inability to commit / belated immaturity. Women at 18 are not looking to settle down yet, they are preoccupied with many other important things in their lives at that time ( education, experiment with sex, first of everything... ). So there is absolutely no danger of an 18yo one day start demanding a commitment of some sort from him... He is just another boyfriend to her... And it is fine at 18. The problem is that at his age he should be looking for something more... At least that is a general opinion...