GLBT people: why do you....?

Question

tell others not to judge you and accept you for who you are, yet you'll be the first to think you have a Ph.D in psychology or something and have the validation to tell other GLBT people how they should live, or how they should be? Or judge their personality and character traits?


For example: telling a transsexual like myself that they are basically too wrapped up in their transsexual identity and that this is more to life.

Remember: every time you point a finger, you got 3 more pointing right back at you.

thanks Oberon. Just wanted to tell you, every time I see your avatar, it makes me wanna go to the beach for some reason. :\

did I say anywhere in that about people making judgements about or on transsexuals only? No...I was making a general statement about the level of scutiny we put each other under and yet wanna scream "accept me for who I am" to everyone else. My point was hypocricy, not discrimination towards transsexuals.

Answer 1

You are soooo on point, it's a division within our community that we collectively need to work on, whether it's through education or forums such as these.

Answer 2

well, I hope you aren't addressing everyone who is GLB...and I always include the "T" in those letters. I consider us all part of the same community, and don't pass judgment....haven't we all had enough of others passing judgment on us? I know we don't know each other well....but we've both been around here a long time and I always enjoy your questions and find them thought-provoking. I certainly don't try to tell anyone how to live, and have always resented when others have tried to tell me how I should...or that I'm a sinner and going to hell for simply being the way I was born. I know a lot of GL & B folks, but not many T. I certainly make no assumptions about you or any other transsexuals.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, we're taught- from birth- to judge others based on our own narrow life experiences and belief systems. And it takes a lot of effort and open-mindedness to get over this flawed way of thinking. There's also the learned tendency to view those that are different superficially, based on either those that are most visible or on unusual events. The Religious Right jumping to the conclusion that an annual Pride parade represents the way we live our daily lives is the perfect example.

If you tend to ask a lot of questions related to transsexuals, it hardly indicates that it's an obsession that rules your every waking thought and action. Obviously, it's a part of who you are and it indicates that when it is a concern, this is where you come to share your experiences with others. Unless they're incredibly boring individuals with no personal interests, those that criticize you are guilty of exactly the same thing, but are too "wrapped up" in their own "identities" to recognize it, and too self-absorbed to listen to have an open mind about that which they don't understand. They'll spend hours talking about football- nothing wrong with that- but get impatient and openly criticize others as soon as the conversation changes to something that doesn't interest or relate to them.

So please, by all means, keep asking; those of us with open minds are always anxious to increase our understanding of those that, like you, have different life experiences than our own. It's the only way we grow as individuals, and undo some of the damage taught by our conformist society and organized religion.

Answer 4

Someone seems to be having a really bad day.

Hope things get better tomarrow.

I actually DO have a degree in psychology, but I try not to assume to know everyone or what they are thinking. I can see, at least from your posts here today, that you seem to be having a really bad day.


Hey, I know I get cranky online too. Usually when I'm stressed or hormonal. Maybe a chocolate bar, glass of milk or some herbal tea might help take the edge off.

Answer 5

I have no issues with trans... (Is it transsexual, or transexual?... Neither looks to be spelled correctly... Hmm..)
I have no issues with you or anyone else like you. =-)

The issues that I've addressed before are toward gays who feel like they HAVE to walk around in a pink feathered boa just to make a statement. (NOT insulting cross-dressers. If wearing women's clothing is your thing, then that's your thing...) But... I'm talking about people who would never NORMALLY wear women's clothing doing it just to make a point. And the ONLY reason I have such a problem with it is because whenever I first came out, I felt like I HAD to go out and buy tight-fitting clothing and wear lip gloss and call people 'honey' all the time. I thought that's what being GAY meant... And it just bothers me to see people who do these things just because it's the gay thing to do...

=-|

Answer 6

i don't judge transsexuals. they are one of us the T in the LGBT as far as i am concerned. if my friend was a transsexual or family member it wouldn't change a thing except how they want to be identified as

Answer 7

Unfortunately, judgementalism is a human trait, and we are not immune, even though we are on the receiving end of so much. Sorry you're hurting today.

Answer 8

I certainly try NOT to do that - but I also find that I am not able to give you much advice because in reality I have no idea what you are going through in life.

Answer 9

Generally I like your questions/answers and I don't judge you at all, so I'm not sure if you are aiming this at everyone, or just venting a bit. I'm hoping it's just a vent.

Answer 10

Well there is more to life than ones sexual identitiy, maybe you shouldnt get mad and try and look at that from another angle. Good luck