I had feelings for this person and so I let them borrow money for a house payment cause I cared about the situation. She didn't pay me back for six months and so I decided to write it off as a gift. Later, I found out she let someone else borrow a small amount money from her during the six months. I kept it inside of me for awhile but we were hanging out in an electronic store and she mentioned that she was looking to buy an expensive video game system for her daughter.
I finally snapped. I told her I felt like she was taking advantage of me and she cussed me out and shut me out of her life. She threw the fact that I had feelings for her in my face and that is the reason she hates me is because I kept trying to be more than friends with her and that I don't just "shut the eff up".
I tried talking to her about my feelings for three weeks. She now "hates" me. I felt I was right and wanted an apology. Instead she sends me $50 bi-weekly and gives silence treatment.
2007-09-24 07:13:11 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
She said that she hates me because I accused her of being a con-artist and other things.
Well I did but... her reaction offers me nothing but guilt. Ignoring the guy who helped her out and cared about her? I just want respect. I admit I have been angry for about 3 weeks.. trying to explain why I said the things I did. I emailed her daily for like two or three weeks trying to fix our friendship. She just hates me now. Why would someone hate me after everything I did for her.
2007-09-24 07:17:40 · update #1
R K is right - be glad you're getting your money back, and move on without her. If you can't get it all, consider the unpaid part as your tuition to the school of hard knocks.
She won't change, and I don't see her becoming anything good in your life. Don't fall in love with someone who won't love you back. Move on with your life.
2007-09-24 07:24:12 · answer #1 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably feels as if you did it for her "conditionally" although you did not ever ask for the money back in 6 months. Where was the communication about the money over the 6 month time frame?
When you say you "wrote if off as a gift" you really didn't...because then why would it bother you so much. Either it bothered you because you really wanted your money back or either because you were hurt and thought she didn't appreciate it. Why would you think she didn't appreciate it? Because she gave money to someone else instead of you first? When you had never asked for the money back to begin with.
You should not have "snapped." This is showing a lack of communication. You should have addressed it to her in a different "kinder" way. I would say she probably feels embarassed that you had been thinking all along that she was using you or had taken advantage of you when all along she was assuming it didn't mean much because you didn't ask for it back.
This is about a lack of communication and assumptions.
2007-09-24 15:09:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to agree with the first reponse. This girl was just using you and you were fooling yourself to think that by giving her money she would like you more. Unfortunately it would be best if you just forgot about this one and learned from the situation.
It is always a good rule to: Never lend money to friends or loved ones. Money has a way of causing problems between people, it always has and always will. You can support your friends in other ways, but giving cash can lead to trouble.
2007-09-24 14:27:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She used you babe. Even if she doesn't think so-she did. You've been played and now she is mad because she doesn't want to believe she is that kind of person and you pointed it out. Join the club-it's time to let go. She wants you to feel bad because she feels bad. Just let it go and maybe she will get over it. If she doesn't then maybe you can move on with your life. It has happened to most of us at least once.
2007-09-24 14:46:51 · answer #4 · answered by whatever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even when you're right, TACT goes a long way. You are lucky to be getting money back at this point. Now, Don't be a little b*tch and go get yourself a woman.
2007-09-24 14:24:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This makes the 3rd time this month I've answered this question (well.. in this case I'm not answering.. but still)... so what's up.. is this part of an experiment or something?
2007-09-24 14:29:05 · answer #6 · answered by pip 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, sounds like an ungrateful ***** to me. Honestly, take her payments, and thank god she isn't in your life anymore, she totally took advantage of you.
2007-09-24 14:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by Excellante 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋