About 2 months ago, I met this older man through my friends. He is attractive, funny, smart, wealthy but has legal ties...wife and kids to be exact. He pursued me and I followed along. He kissed me one night 2 months ago b/c he was wasted and I was too but I told him no. Then it happened on a different night. And I said this is the wrong thing to do. He said I was right and we didn't really talk or look at eachother when I would visit my other friends. Then just this last month, I saw him out and he asked me to go get a drink, I gave in and went. I didn't know what to expect but we did have sexual relations not intercourse but you get the idea, and now I am just so wrapped up in this mess and I totally think he is a great guy but what am i doing???? Am I disrespecting myself here? Is this ok? Is it not ok? No one has a clue what is going on but there are several people that would get hurt, how do you walk away? I am so confused!! Please help.
2007-09-24 05:55:26 · 15 answers · asked by TextnQueen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why does it feel so good when it is so wrong? I know that sounds stupid, but why????????
2007-09-24 06:18:45 · update #1
First off, he had no right to come onto you because he is married. No, this isn't okay. You need to tell him that you will not continue this relationship. If you continue relations with this man then yes you will be disrespecting yourself. Don't let him do this to you. Be strong and walk away. It will be hard but stay focused on your work, go out with your other friends, stay busy, etc. With each day it will get better. Keep telling yourself that he isn't that great of a guy or he wouldn't have got you into this mess. He has a family and children and that is where he needs to be. You will get through this. Be strong and best of luck!
2007-09-24 06:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
This is wrong. You should definitely cut ties w/ this man. He's married w/ kids - he's just delving into a temptation that he shouldn't. He made vows to be true and devoted to his wife and he's breaking them - so how can you even call him a good man?
You're not disrespecting yourself but you are disrespecting the laws of marriage and possibly breaking them up in the long run.
Keep away from this man at all costs. Trust me - if he's going to choose anyone it's going to be his family and you'll be left in the dust.
2007-09-24 13:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by Niko 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about it... he's got all of those good qualities (smart, attractive, wealthy) but you're actually seeing one of his worst sides (cheating, lying) he has a wife and children...i doubt he's interested in anything more than a little play with you behind everyones back. Plus, you said yourself...several people would get hurt... do you want to be responsible for that? Upsetting your friends, breaking up his family... i know i wouldnt. Just tell him, in private, that you had a nice time with him, but it isn't right and you would appreciate it if he didnt come on to you anymore. Only you know what's best tho. G'lcuk.
2007-09-24 13:04:32 · answer #3 · answered by peacexlovexrocknroll 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It is not ok and yes you are disrespecting yourself doing this. Many people will be hurt, you, the wife and kids etc. you need to tell him that this is not right and that you would appreciate if he would just leave you alone and you need to stand your ground. It can be hard at times but need to avoid him if that makes it easier for you to say no. Just remember that he is married and think about how it would feel if your husband was doing that.
2007-09-24 13:05:43 · answer #4 · answered by xyz 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are disrespecting yourself. Simply WALK AWAY. Don't contact him. He has issues with himself and his wife. He needs to figure those out for himself without bringing anyone else into a situation.
2007-09-24 13:14:53 · answer #5 · answered by Hope 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are just going to hurt yourself here. If a man leaves his wife for you, you are just going to inherit his baggage, i.e. the kids. You will become "weekend mom" and it's not cool. Not to mention, if he cheats on his wife who is to say he won't do it with you!
2007-09-24 13:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by Snuggles123 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He knew he could get alittle action with you. All he had to do was work at it, be persistant and viola! In like Flynn. You, on the other hand...didn't do enough to stop this when you should have.
No one to blame but yourself. And yes....its not disrespecting yourself. Its failure to excercise proper morals and conduct.
You failed miserably.
2007-09-24 13:08:23 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NOT okay!! He is married, and no you are disrespecting his WIFE and CHILDREN. You have a clue what is going on and so does he. He is not a nice guy or he wouldn't be cheating on his wife.
2007-09-24 13:03:55 · answer #8 · answered by green_clovers66 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You put on HIS WIFE'S shoes and realize how she would feel. Yes it is wrong. There are lots of single men out there. WALK AWAY!
2007-09-24 13:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by dazednconfused 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your disrespecting yourself and his wife. How would you like to pledge your life and love to a man and know some girls giving him a hummer and then asking if its okay?
2007-09-24 13:03:47 · answer #10 · answered by sarah W 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋